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Kelli (Stay-at-home mom of Logan 9, and Whitney 7): Does it make me a bad mother that I’m a bit annoyed with the “Hallmark Holiday” of Valentine’s Day?
Jen (Dual-career mom of Jacob 6, and Caleb, 3): Right on the heels of Christmas? Not at all. For moms barely holding it together, it’s actually a pretty diabolical way to sell a few more greeting cards.
Kelli: It just makes me look bad, that as a SAHM, I’m not elbow deep with my kids in doilies, construction paper and glitter. Running into Wallgreens for the last two boxes of Teletubbies valentines is not how I pictured it.
Jen: I would like to claim my lack of preparedness for valentine activities could be blamed on my "working mom" status. But, if I was honest with myself I would have to admit it falls down my list of priorities every year.
Kelli: I’d like to blame it on laundry. And grocery shopping. And trying to turn that food into 3 healthy meals a day plus snacks. And the people in my house who sometimes mistake me for a maid.
Jen: Don't get me wrong, I love Valentine's Day. I love cards and I love to send them. I enjoy browsing through all of the magazines at the checkout stand showing unique ways to do valentines. I even envision myself sitting lovingly around the table with my two boys as we patiently cut out felt hearts and stitch them together to make little valentine pouches for all of their friends.
The reality, though, is that I never get my act together and inevitably end up buying the box of cards at Raley's for my kids to pass out.
Kelli: To be honest, Valentine’s Day has always given me anxiety. It’s just a different kind now. Instead of worrying if anyone would remember me, now I’m worrying I don’t forget anyone in two classes of 20.
Jen: My kids seem to always end up in the minority of children in their class who haven't put together a cool little handout bag chock full of goodies and treats from their parents. I always feel a little twinge of guilt that I should have made more of an effort. But I've come to terms that my children are just destined for the foldable cards with those annoying heart stickers that don’t stick until they ask for something else.
Kelli: When the kids were smaller we pulled out the glue, glitter, beads and pink and red paper. But let’s face it, after an hour of creative family fun, you’ve got about four valentines out of the deal and you’re vacuuming up runaway beads for weeks.
Now we just save homemade for Mommy, Daddy and grandparents.
Jen: Can I blame my short-cut Valentine traditions on my working mom status? Nice try, but it doesn't work. At Caleb's preschool the majority of parents/families are dual income families. At Jake's school, there are several women who hold down jobs and other time-consuming responsibilities. This hasn’t stopped their kids from creating those cute little homemade felt valentines.
Kelli: Hey, don’t beat yourself up. I’ve found if you just tape a lollipop to that cheesy Spiderman valentine, it beats homemade any day to a kid.
My kids were the first to cry uncle when they realized they had to write 20 classmate names, plus sign their own names, and address the envelopes. Plus, that didn’t include all the valentines we needed to sign and mail to relatives. Sucks the creativity right out of you.
Jen: I'll just be glad this year if I'm not spending Thursday night hovering over the table as the two boys write their names on 36 cards. You'd think I would be more inventive by now.
If I could somehow figure out a way to pass off those Lofthouse sugar cookies as my own, I would. Instead, we'll just be the class slackers once more! I've come to terms with my prioritization and determined that it’s not likely to send my kids to the therapist's couch. At least not yet.
Kelli: I LOVE those super soft and delicious Lofthouse cookies. You’ll be a super star bringing in those.
I do have to say, you’ve gotta thank the school district now for making Valentine’s Day just a little easier. Since we’re no longer allowed to bring in homemade food and treats, I don’t look like such a slacker anymore bringing in high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oil bakery confections for the class party. Good thing we have the state of
Jen: I’ll be redeeming myself by making some delicious heart shaped pancakes on Saturday morning for Valentine’ Day!
Kelli: Great idea! I’m stealing it and passing it off as my own SAHM Martha Steward moment. You guilt-filled working moms are so clever!
Kelli Wheeler is a
Jen Hall is a
From the Heart Valentine Ideas
- Instead of spending money on a sitter, have the kids decorate the table with special placemats cut out of construction paper. Have each person go around the table saying what they love about each other. Then, send the kids to bed early so the parents can enjoy some downtime.
- Make a special Valentine's Day breakfast. Consider heart-shaped pancakes or waffles (easy to make hearts out of Eggo waffles!) or add pink food coloring to regular food to spice it up!
- Put a special note or card in your child's lunch box telling them you love them.
- Deliver left over valentines to a local nursing home or hospital for delivery to the patients.
- Visit your local library to check out books related to Valentine's Day; make it a special treat for your kids to go to the library this day.
- A phone call to tell someone you were thinking of them is as good as a card.
- Give the gift of time for Valentine’s Day. Make it a day of undivided attention.
- If you do gifts, make it a small gesture to show you know those little things that make them happy (Maybe it’s the super-size pack of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups or a box of Haagen-Dazs ice cream bars).
- Make every day Valentine’s Day by making someone feel special with your kindness each day.
