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Beer commercials give us these words of wisdom:  Know when to say when.  This is wonderful advice for December, as well.

We can get so overwhelmed feeling like we have to do EVERYTHING, that we can miss the beauty and joy that are supposed to be such a part of this season.  Prioritizing and carefully choosing activities are absolutely critical.

Two years ago, my friend Sue, mother to a preschooler and a 1^st grader, learned this the hard way.  Sue decided that she didn’t want to miss out on anything that might be fun, special or meaningful for her children.  To teach them about giving, she had each child assemble a shoebox to send to a 3^rd world country, AND help buy gifts for "angel tree" children, AND take part in adopting two families, through a local mom’s group.  She also made homemade crafts for all of her friends, tried to catch all the TV holiday specials, attempted to read Christmas stories to her kids every night, and baked dozens upon dozens of cookies, all while holding down a job, contributing to and attending every class party, and preparing to host Christmas for her extended family.  Sue’s heart was in the right place, but do you know where she spent Christmas Eve?  In an urgent care waiting room, to get antibiotics for strep throat, because she ran herself right into the ground.  I’m pretty sure that wasn’t the Christmas celebration she had in mind.

It’s crazy what most of us moms try to accomplish each December.  The problem is that so much of what we do can come from a sense of obligation rather than from a place of joy. 

But how do you prioritize when everything seems important?  First, by recognizing that even if you CAN do it all, like Sue, it probably isn’t a good idea.  You have to make choices and trade-offs, and think about what’s really most important for you and your family.  And you need to share these choices with the other people who will be affected by them.  Last year, Sue let each child pick ONE charity service project to do, and she let her parents host Christmas.  But she still tried to sit down every night to read Christmas stories – because this was the memory she treasured most out of everything she had done the prior year.  She felt happier, because she wasn’t quite so busy.  Her husband was happier, because Sue wasn’t so frantic and stressed all the time.  And her kids were happier, because they got to spend lots of special reading time with Mom.  Less was more – for everyone.

Your assignment:  Take a few minutes to think through the rest of December.  Separate your have-to’s from your want-to’s, and let go of the activities and undertakings that cause you more stress than joy.  Decide what will make this season genuinely special for you and your children, and focus on those things.  Good luck!

Ready to take the assignment?  Want to talk about this?  Share your ideas and thoughts at the M.O.M. Balance Forum.

Want to read more from Karen Harvey's M.O.M. Balance column?  Click here.