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Jen (Dual-career mom of Jacob 6, and Caleb, 2): Do you remember the days pre-kids?
Kelli (Stay-at-home mom of Logan 9, and Whitney 7): Which part? The lazy sleep-in on Sunday, read the paper in bed, then watch some football part, or the I used to have perky parts part?
Jen: I’m talking a woman’s most prized possession, her symbol of style and uniqueness – that is until it becomes reduced to a pathetic pit in the name of motherhood. I’m talking the days of cute purses uncluttered with mom junk.
Kelli: Oh gosh, I don’t think I can remember that far back – it’s become such a hazy memory. Was it real or only just a dream?
Jen: I remember fondly the days when it was time to go out for the evening you had a cute little bag containing your ID and $20 in cab fare. This of course was an upgrade from the college days of your ID and cash stuffed in your jean pocket.
Kelli: I do remember my adorable, little, plaid lunch box style, sling purse just big enough for my ID, money and lipstick. Now it wouldn’t even carry the pack of Hubba Bubba bubble gum I carry in my purse for diversion tactic emergencies.
Jen: Exactly. And now where am I? I’m using my Coach purse as a glorified diaper bag because I've never been a diaper bag fan. If I’m going to lug around mom junk, I figure I’ll at least do it in style.
Kelli: Back in my diaper bag days I had to go in search of a cool, unisex one so my husband would co-Sherpa with me. We picked out a backpack from REI that came equipped with dual water bottle holders and separate front pocket. Which of course were perfect holsters for quick-draw sippy cup and bottle dispensing and easy access to the ever-present Goldfish cracker dispenser.
Jen: I hate lugging multiple bags around and tried to resist it even when I had little ones. With Jacob, of course I had the initial first mom angst where I toted around 4-5 changes of clothes, bottles (even though I was nursing), diapers, wipes, binky, toys, blankets, etc. It was ridiculous. I finally decided to transfer the most needed items to my purse. I've continued this habit as the kids get older.
Kelli: Okay, let’s have a little fun with this to prove how ridiculous a mom’s purse is at any given moment.
Remember that wedding shower game What’s In Your Purse? and whoever had the most random items on the list like sewing kit, dental floss or plastic rain hat won?
Jen: I was always glad to never win that game…
Kelli: Now, I am going to cheat a bit because I do have two purses. My “serious” purse ready to rumble for when I’m going out, to a meeting, or don’t want to be embarrassed by a confiscated slinky springing out of my purse.
Then I have my “fun” purses like the one made out of Kool-Aid juice packets; my Halloween purse with woven spider webs and black feathers; my Christmas purse – red quilt trimmed with white fur. I take these out when I’m hanging with the kids and I leave all the mom junk in them.
Jen: You know, I think I’m going to predict victory on this one, having younger kids and all.
Kelli: Don’t be so sure. Dump it.
Jen: Read ‘em an’ weep sister:
- Granola bar in wrapper but is now in crumbs because it’s at the bottom of my bag
- Rub-on face tattoos for when I remember to give them to my kids
- A diaper that is the wrong size for my youngest son
- A bag of wet wipes
- Crayons
- Hot Wheels cars
- Band-Aids of assorted shapes and sizes
- An Apple Hill Christmas tree farm map
- Safety pins
- A glow in the dark stick
- 4 or 5 Raley’s coffee cards, all with one or two stamps marked off because I never remember to bring all my cards together
- A 2003 Hallmark calendar that I hold onto because it has all of my friends' and family birthday information
- A pair of boys clean underwear (just in case)
- A map of
Kelli: I’ll have to go to the Kool-Aid purse to remain competitive:
- A pair of wrong size Halloween red and black striped tights with receipt taped to it I’ve been meaning to return…from Halloween 2007
- Purple umbrella cover for my daughter’s umbrella
- Visitor map to the Monterey Bay Aquarium trip last summer
- Scooby-do Chapstick
- Coin purse with hair ties and barrettes mixed in with the money
- Hi-Chew green apple (candy?). I don’t even know what this is or where it came from
- Aluminum pop-tops for my son’s collection
- Another hair clip
- Picture key chain with no keys from Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk of my family in the mouth of a shark.
- Souvenir quarter from a stretch machine from a trip to
- Crumpled old shopping list I could probably keep re-using (wait, here’s 2 more)
- Popcorn and soda receipt from the movies
- Movie stub to “Underdog”
- Straw wrapper
- Fortune cookie fortune - “You will soon receive an unusual proposition” (…in bed! HA)
- Wet wipe from Barnum and Bailey’s Greatest Show on Earth
- A piece of Lucky Charms cereal
- Club cards and gift cards with unknown amounts left on them to Build-A-Bear, McDonald’s, Cold Stone Creamery, Borders, Jamba Juice, Hello Kitty store, Toys R Us and Target
- Logan and Whitney’s library cards
- Safety pin
- And another hair tie and possibly a used Kleenex
Jen: I think we call this a draw.
Kelli: Nobody’s a winner here. Arguably a couple losers though…
Jen: Tiny clutch purses and trendy bags that hang so delicately from the arms of the fashionista, don’t forsake me...my time will come again!
Kelli Wheeler is a Sacramento stay-at-home mom of two dedicating this to her friend Amanda who couldn’t find a blank piece of paper in her purse, but could pull out a pair of glow-in-the dark vampire teeth.
Jen Hall is a
The “What’s in Your Purse?” Game
Try it at your next Girls Night Out or Holiday Party
Draw up a long list of items which you would expect to find in a mom's purse and allocates each item with a number of points from one to twenty, depending on how unusual the item would be, ranging from one point for a shopping list to three points for a child’s toy, and five points for a movie stub to the latest animated movie. Other items could be a pacifier, baby wipes, Target gift card, more than five various gift cards, hair bows, Cheerios, etc.
The person with the highest amount of points wins the game. If there are any items which are not on the list, or anything particularly unusual, have the person who initiated the game act as the judge to award a special points award.
A variation on this game could be to see who has the most items in their purse, or who has the heaviest purse.
