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Jen (Dual-career mom of Jacob 5, and Caleb, 2): Another Mother of the Year Award is out the window…
Kelli (Stay-at-home mom of Logan 8, and Whitney 7): I took myself out of the running when I told my daughter to suck it up and run her lap at soccer when she complained about her stomach hurting. Poor girl ended up sprinting to the bathroom with the sprints and threw up later that night.
Jen: It hasn’t been one big thing for me yet (thank goodness) but rather a combination of the many small missteps I seem to always be making.
I think I've mentioned before the secret manual for perfect parenting I believe other mothers seem to have that I missed out on. Is it because I am inept? Is it because I'm a working mother? Is it because I'm still fairly new to this mom thing? Or is it a combination of all of these?
Kelli: Show me a perfect parent and I’ll show you adult children sitting on Dr. Phil’s couch debunking the myth.
Jen: Hey, I’d be happy with just the illusion.
Kelli: And I’d be happy just to be nominated.
Jen: You think I’m out of the running for a Mother of the Year Award by forgetting to bring something for my son's class "Show and Tell," then running out to the car and trying to pawn off anything in the backseat as appropriate for sharing? (Really honey, these jumper cables are so cool!)
Kelli: Can’t be any worse than hissing at your son through clenched teeth to “look happy and smile right” for the perfect Christmas card picture on Santa’s lap, causing him to burst into tears instead and wail, “But I am trying to look happy!”
Jen: How about forgetting the field trip permission slip on field trip day?
Kelli: Painting my son’s toenails pink and purple, then forgetting about his request to have it taken off before he sees all the guys at a swim party.
Jen: Not packing a cool enough lunch, not buying cool enough clothes, generally not being a cool enough mom.
Kelli: Refusing to let my daughter wear the shirt she wants to wear for school picture day because it looks too much like last year’s picture.
Jen: Keeping my son at school too long after a late pick-up to his utter devastation only to show up too early on next pick-up from the after school program to his utter devastation.
Kelli: Telling my kids that all forest fires are started by smokers and all acts of vandalism are done by teenagers to keep them from smoking and turning into delinquent teenagers.
Jen: Trying to be the perfect mom is something no one should undertake without expecting to be a failure. However, shouldn't I be able to manage getting him to soccer practice, on time, with water, and his soccer ball? Or feeding my kids a dinner that is half- way nutritious and delicious?
Kelli: That reminds me, in a fit of frustration I once told my super-finicky son that if he threw up the dinner he was gagging on I would make him still eat it plus seconds. Not one of my better mom moments.
Jen: Sometimes it just feels like everything conspires against you to go wrong. Like baking 72 cupcakes for your child's myriad birthday parties only to have half of them be destroyed when they fall out of the spiffy new cupcake carrier you bought from Michael's.
Kelli: That’s just bad luck – that’s not going to knock you out of the Mom of the Year running. I’m talking sending your kid to their room for bad behavior and then forgetting about them until dinner.
Jen: Not that this might be me or anything, but some mothers may sometimes run out of laundry and make my, I mean their, children wear the same pajamas two nights in a row. Sometimes they even may have to wear a swimsuit instead of clean underwear.
Kelli: I’m making you look like Mother Teresa. If there’s no pee in the jammies, they might not get washed until the syrup they spilled on themselves at breakfast forces me to wash them. I’ve been known to tell a kid to go hamper hunting for a pair of chonnies if I haven’t kept up with the wash.
Jen: Wait! I have left my son's security blanket at someone's house and then stalked them to get it back in time before a meltdown at bedtime.
Kelli: I’ve used my son and daughter’s precious B’s (blankies) as leverage. Is there any hope for me?
Jen: Of course, and I think there’s times when I do earn the award too. For example, incessantly calling my friend and interrupting her date night so that I can go back to her house and pick up my son's security blanket. Isn't that what motherhood is all about?
Kelli: At least a look by the nominating committee for sure…
Kelli Wheeler is a
Jen Hall is a
YOUR TURN
Share your Mother of the Year sabotaging moments.
