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Jen (Dual-career mom of Jacob 5, and Caleb, 2): I don't know what it is about Halloween - it used to be my favorite holiday as a kid, but now it just creeps up on me and I feel so overwhelmed.
Kelli (Stay-at-home mom of Logan 8, and Whitney 7): Creeps up on you – nice one! Halloween doesn’t scare me; mostly it just makes me feel inadequate.
Jen: Store bought Halloween costume guilt?
Kelli: Weighing on me like a giant prize pumpkin.
Jen: For me, as a dual-career mom, it’s not just trying to find time to get the right costume it’s also buying the right candy - but not too early so that I don't eat it all; coordinating the pumpkin patch field trip and trying to fit it into my work schedule so I am there to capture my child's brightly shining face as he picks out the perfect pumpkin; or missing the class Halloween party.
Kelli: How about as a stay-at-home mom and the Ladies Home Journal mocking me at the supermarket check-stand that I’m not making a unique and cost-saving costume from scratch using remnant fabric, recycled materials and stitching it together with dental floss and homemade glue.
Jen: You mean you’re not home baking cupcakes that look like spiders with licorice legs and three story haunted house cakes?
Kelli: And you’re not using ten minutes of your lunch hour to point and click at shop@e.costumeexpress.com making costume shopping easy breezy pumpkin squeezy?
Jen: As a DCM or SAHM, isn't it just easier to ask your kid what they want to be for Halloween and then log onto www.SpiritHalloween.com and order the perfect one? No fuss, no muss - as long as it gets there in time.
Kelli: Actually, my guilt at not instilling better values by having the kids and I make their Halloween costumes sent me shopping. I hit the local Spirit Halloween store, Target and JoAnn’s Fabrics with the kids in search of the perfect Halloween costume.
Here’s how I made the guilt go away though – all Halloween stuff at JoAnn’s is half-off already. We found costumes that made the kids happy and Mommy was happy knowing I couldn’t have even bought the fabric to make their costumes for the price I got their entire costumes for.
Jen: That’s good to know! Jacob is just now getting into the stage where he really has a strong opinion about what he wants to be for Halloween. Before it was easy enough to browse multiple costume sites and just order something that was on sale and would get here in time.
But I have to say, I’ve resisted checking-out my virtual shopping cart with a $55 Wall-E costume in it. It’s a costume that’s essentially a painted brown box! Shouldn't I be making time to do this with Jacob?
Kelli: You know, we need to take the pressure off ourselves to be the Wonder-Woman mom who does it all (although that would make a great costume). If you enjoy making costumes and you have the resources to do it, great. If making Halloween sugar cookies together is a family tradition you make time for, wonderful. If decorating your house for Halloween until it rivals the Spirit Halloween store makes you happy instead of stressed, then do it (and I do).
But you are not less of a mother if you don’t. No matter how you choose to be involved in your child’s Halloween experience, it will be special to them just because you are a part of it. So, whether you buy them the last costume on the rack, grab the last bag of candy off the shelf, or end up sending in Halloween napkins for the class party instead of being there – as long as you take them trick-or-treating or sit with them as they sort their candy, it’s all good.
Jen: Excellent point. Rather than feel overwhelmed, I’m going to try to just chill.
Fall feels like it should be the time for slowing down. Drinking cider by the fireplace. Watching the seasons change. Catching up on a good book. So, yes, if I have to I will order a costume and outsource it rather than making it from scratch and killing myself over Halloween. Besides, my creative skills are frightening anyway!
Kelli: But your puns are to die for…
Kelli Wheeler is a
Jen Hall is a
Ten Ways to Have a Safe Halloween
1. Have older kids Trick or Treat in a group or with a chaperone. Openly discuss appropriate and inappropriate behavior at Halloween time.
2. Make sure Halloween masks have good visibility. Encourage face painting instead.
3. Try Trick or Treating in a community with sidewalks and street lights if your own doesn=t have them.
4. Provide glow sticks, reflector tape or a flashlight no matter how well lit the community. Put in fresh batteries.
5. Try mall Trick or Treating. Many malls provide a safe alternative to neighborhood Trick or Treating.
6. Remind children to keep eyes and ears open for cars -- don=t expect they=ll see you, you look for them. Make sure they know they’re phone number and 9-1-1 in an emergency or they get lost.
7. Let your teenagers host a movie Fright Night. You=ll know where they are.
8. Call ahead to make sure teen costume parties are chaperoned.
9. Provide a cell phone for the Trick or Treating group to report any suspicious activity or if assistance is needed.
10. Encourage kids to wait until they get home to go through candy. A close inspection is always wise.
