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Integrity, says the dictionary, is this: “adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.” To most people, however, it’s a measure of their answer to this question: Do I do what I tell myself and others I’m going to do? Once you’ve answered that question, the next step is to look at any parts of your life in which the answer is “No.”
Integrity is a vital part of trusting yourself, so if you’re out of integrity it can impact not only the situation at hand, but your broader self-image. Even if the world at large perceives you to be a person of integrity – you do what’s right, you can be counted on – your self-perception can be eroded by all the little infractions that show up in day to day life.
Consider the following breaches:
· You agree to take on some small responsibility or commitment (to show up at a meeting, for example, go to the gym, or make cookies for the bake sale), later find that it doesn’t easily fit in your schedule, then don’t follow through
· You tell yourself you’re going to spend an hour during the weekend playing or reading with your children – but the days get busy and this doesn’t happen
· You show up late when you’re supposed to be somewhere at a certain time
Are these little infractions actually that important? Not individually, maybe, but each time you address one of these you put yourself more in integrity. This, in turn, improves your ability to trust yourself, and helps your self-esteem – you know that the lady in the mirror is a woman of her word, even to herself.
When your children see you uphold your agreements to them, to yourself and to others, this demonstrates the value of following through, and helps them understand the importance of integrity in their own lives.
Dr. Seuss’ Horton, from Horton Hears a Who, models integrity in a way that children can easily understand, as he protects an invisible world from destruction. His famous line: “I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. An elephant’s faithful one hundred percent.” The more you can find ways to be like Horton in your own life, to mean what you say, the better.
Your assignment: Look for places in your life where you find it difficult to do what you say you’re going to do. Think of one regular action you could take over the next week to improve your integrity in a particular area, and try to implement this.
Ready to take the assignment? Want to talk about this? Share your ideas and thoughts at the M.O.M. Balance Forum.
