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Jen (Dual-career mom of Jacob 5, and Caleb, 2): I violated a Mommy Commandment the other day.
 
Kelli (Stay-at-home mom of Logan 8, and Whitney 7): Oh yeah? Which one?

Jen: Thou shalt not compare one child to the other.

 
Kelli: Did it sound something like, “Why can’t you be more like your brother? He always…” 

Jen: Yes! And I heard it coming out of my mouth, but I just couldn’t stop myself! 

Kelli: Ah, I wouldn’t sweat it. Yours are still young enough to get away with it. But in a few years you just might be flirting with Dr. Phil territory.

 

Jen: I really feel like I need to repent though. Is there anywhere you can go to confess your sins for breaking a Mommy Commandment?

Kelli: Mommy playgroup, mommy support group, mommy website, grocery line… We’re all a bunch of imperfect parents looking to commiserate. There’s a comfort knowing we’re not the only ones who may one day be watching our kids reveal their childhood injustices on Dr. Phil’s couch.

 

Jen: So, I know some of the biggies, like -- Thou shalt not judge another mother's parenting decisions or philosophies, lest ye be judged.

 

Kelli: Thou shalt not show favoritism to any child, lest they forever use it against you.

 

Jen: Thou shalt not suggest working outside the home means someone's children will end up in jail or as addicts because their mother did not stay at home with them.

Kelli: Thou shalt not assume stay-at-home mothers aren’t working, have no ambition, have sacrificed careers, or have it easy.

 

Jen: Thou shall first be your children’s parent before you are their friend.   

 

Kelli: Thou shall treat your husband with the same love and attention you shower upon your children.

Jen: Thou shalt not let your child go to bed without first kissing them goodnight.

Kelli: Thou shall not forsake thyself in the commission of taking care of a family.

 

Jen: Thou shall remember these years of childhood are fleeting and precious and shall treat them accordingly.

 

Kelli: Then of course you have your lesser commandments, but no less important in their following.

Jen: You mean like -  Thou shalt not leave for work without first carefully checking your outfit for any traces of child debris: ie, baby spit up, cracker crumbs, or peanut butter hand prints.

 

Kelli: Thou shalt not give into a tantrum, lest ye forever undo the ramifications.

 

Jen: Thou shall occasionally skip doing the piled up loads of laundry and instead take a nap, play a game or decide to lay in the backyard with your child and watch the clouds float by.

Kelli: If thou must yell at your children, do it in a voice that doesn’t carry over to the neighbor’s house.

Jen: Thou shall remember that teenagers were once adorable little babies.

Kelli: Thou shalt not ask for a playdate, sleepover or invite a friend over in front of your friend or their parents lest ye be immediately rejected.

 

Jen: Thou shall take an evening off and go out with your girlfriends at least once a month. Thou shall also encourage husbands or partners to do the same.

 Kelli: Thou shall be entitled to serve Breakfast for Dinner, skip a bath on a school night, or yell, “Because I said so!” on occasion to save your sanity.

 

Jen: Thou shalt not assume because another mother doesn't work outside the home that they are available and willing to shuttle your children around.

Kelli: Thou shall never say to a stay-at-home mother, “So, you’re a soccer mom?”

 

Jen: Uh, oh. That sounds like a new one. Recent experience?

 

Kelli: It got ugly.

 

Kelli Wheeler is a Sacramento stay-at-home mom of two trying her best to follow the Golden Rules. 

Jen Hall is a Sacramento dual-career mom of two who has learned the hard way it is important to pay attention to any "child debris" that may have found its way onto your suit. Especially before going into a meeting with one's senior partner. A senior partner who has no children and is not married. Not that this happened to her...

 

 

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