HomeIn my workshops, a lament shared by many moms is having to play with their kids in ways that just aren't fun. Face it - even though there are lots of parent-child activities that you love, there are a few which are you probably find to be almost unbearable.
What kind of play drives you absolutely crazy when you anticipate doing it for any amount of time? Playing "make-believe" tops this category for a lot of moms, followed by cars, trucks and trains, board games, building with Legos, and so forth. Every mom has her own "I'd-rather-do-almost-ANYTHING-than-play-this-one-more-time" list.
Here's the good news - this is not, repeat NOT something to feel bad about! The guilt that some moms feel over their dislike of certain activities is huge, yet unwarranted. Instead of making a judgment about your feelings, try to just accept them. There's nothing wrong with preferring outdoor activities and puzzles to playing with Barbies, say, or liking arts and crafts more than Hot Wheels. That's just part of who you are. So your choice is to accept these preferences or feel bad about them - but they aren't going to change in either case.
So, what do you do when faced with the dreaded activity? Here are a few options:
• Suggest something you'd rather do - maybe your child doesn't care that much, and will be happy with any activity you do together.
• Use a timer - "Mommy will play trucks until the timer goes off, then it will be my turn to pick what we do."
• Try to pre-empt your child. As soon as it's playtime, offer two or three enjoyable activities, before your child approaches you with a request.
• Be honest - tell your child that you're not in the mood for a particular activity, and ask him to come up with another option -hopefully one that will be more to your liking.
• If possible, put the toy or game out of sight so your child isn't as likely to think about it.
• If worse comes to worst, bite your tongue, focus all your attention on your child's enjoyment of what you're doing, and try not to let the activity bother you so much. After all, you're still spending together, so it can't be all bad!
Your assignment: Think about your least favorite activity with your child, and decide how you want to approach it the next time. What alternative would work best for you? Can you limit your time, suggest a better alternative, or creatively redirect your child? Or can you adjust your attitude so that the activity doesn't bother you as much? Try to implement your choice sometime in the next week, and see how it goes.
Ready to take the assignment? Want to talk about this? Share your ideas and thoughts at M.O.M. Balance forum.
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