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K (SAHM to Logan, 8, and Whitney, 7): Just got back from a trip to Disneyland with the kids.
J (DCM to Jacob, 5, and Caleb, 2): Ah, the so called Happiest Place on Earth.
K: You know, I had my own perfect mental picture and expectations of our Disneyland vacation. I imagined having it perfectly timed with the crowds, hitting most of the rides together as a family with "older" kids, using Fast Pass or not having to wait terribly long, and having a Disney magical time together.
J: I take it the pixie dust is off of the fairy?
K: Let's just say worrying someone's going to call CPS on you because you're forcing a crying and petrified child onto Soaring Over California, wasn't part of my Disney magical vision.
J: Oooh, ouch. Hey, speaking of soaring over California, didn't you drive down there?
K: We did to save money and the hassle of flying these days. That part I actually imagined would be the worst, but thank you DVD player and the resurrection of Full House.
J: The days of the License Plate Game are over.
I think it would have been "easier" to drive to Disneyland when we went, but with limited vacation time that was two days I couldn't afford - even without the gut-kicker gas prices.
So we decided to fly. Picture me trying to get through the security line at the airport with my truculent toddler throwing a tantrum. Meanwhile, Jacob has already skipped through to the other side of the metal detector as I try to convince the oh-so-helpful TSA guard that my car seat-stroller is, in fact, a car seat while praying it makes it through the x-ray machine without getting stuck. Of course, I could feel everyone's eyes burning into my back, irritated at the delay we were causing.
K: Good Lord, the stroller/car seat years. Do not miss that at all. It was worse than the diaper/formula suitcase years as far as bulk goes. It makes you wonder as parents, why do we put ourselves through this for a family "vacation"?
Years ago when my kids were less than a year and two years old, I wrote about a vacation, and I use that term loosely, we took as a family to Lake Tahoe. I called it Vacation vs. Trip (www.kellimwheeler.com/uploads/July_2005.pdf), because when you're traveling with kids the Webster's Dictionary definition of vacation doesn't necessarily apply. When I asked my husband back then if he was ready for our first family vacation, he infamously replied, "This isn't a vacation. This is a trip."
J: I'm solidly in the trip years. I may have had to lug around a double stroller, 50 snack packets in my purse, and have car seats strapped on my back like a Sherpa, but if we're going to travel with kids, that's just part of the territory.
I do think it's important though to travel and expose our kids to other parts of the country and the world. So, we just suck it up. Our motto is: Prepare for the worst and hope for the best!
K: I'm flirting with the vacation years. I found my trips inched closer to vacations as the kids became more independent and we gained travel experience helping us better predict what to expect. I've learned the success of a vacation with kids is being in the right mind frame and having realistic expectations.
J: Another important thing is to still keep a routine, especially with young kids. I've learned to keep some consistency and familiarity in their days, and be prepared to pull the plug on a day and go back to the room if it all became too overwhelming.
K: Exactly. Remember, you're the traveling team and have lost home field advantage. You're dealing with strange beds, different foods, loss of routine, limited resources (only what you've deemed most important and willing to lug around), and strange surroundings with new experiences. You have to make adjustments to meet success.
J: For me, as a DCM, I also have to set boundaries for myself because it's tempting to take my work with me so I can stay in the loop or not get behind.
K: And by all means, don't just stay home because you're afraid it'll be too much work. Even my hardest trips had magical moments and enriching family experiences. Plus, it built confidence in myself as a flexible parent and taught my kids how to expand their worlds.
J: So do you think we're getting closer to those elusive vacation years? You figure we've got a few years until our kids are teenagers and we're dragging them on vacations to embarrass them and have them not talk to us.
K: I think we're close. I believe I've looked vacation in the face and said, "Next time you're mine, baby."
Kelli Wheeler is a Sacramento SAHM (Stay-at-home Mom) of two wading waist deep in the vacation pool with big plans to just dive in.
Jen Hall is a Sacramento DCM (Dual-Career Mom) of two with a new strategy for successfully making it through airport security without dirty looks from strangers.
Jen & Kel's Top 10 Travel Tips with Kids
10. Don't go. HA! Just Kidding. Pick kid friendly destinations. Save that swimming with the dolphins trip for when the kids are a little older.
9. Plan for the worst, hope for the best. Having realistic expectations will save a lot of disappointment and frustration.
8. Don't stray too far from the home routine. There's a reason why it's called home field advantage. Kids find comfort in routine, especially in a new, strange place. If you need to throw in the towel one day and take a nap, do it.
7. Pack individual special travel backpacks. That way the kids can be in charge of their own happiness with games, snacks, favorite stuffed animals and blankies. And if they can be in charge of their own happiness, they can carry it too.
6. Make a list of necessities and pack an extra suitcase if you have to. Nothing like trying to find an all-night mini-mart because you miscalculated your Huggies or forgot to pack the Children's Motrin.
5. Keep it in perspective. Before you lose your cool, ask yourself if it really matters. Prepare yourself in advance for possible mishaps or lost luggage by traveling with a small bag of toiletries or change of clothes.
4. Entertainment! Veteran moms know having a few tricks up their sleeve can make the trip more fun. Some moms wrap presents of small toys from the dollar store for their child to open during the journey.
3. Have a game plan. For instance, if you are traveling to multiple destinations, whether by car or plane, consider packing "family" bags for each stage of your trip rather than having individual suitcases forcing you to unpack all of your bags at each stop. Include an empty collapsible bag for easy laundry storage.
2. Make it fun! Don't forget that the trip is supposed to be a good time. Get the kids excited about the upcoming vacation by sharing your plans and allowing them to choose some of the activities you will do on the trip. Older kids can search for reviews online while younger kids can draw pictures of what they are looking forward to.
1. Remember to enjoy the journey. Every experience with your kids, good or bad, is a trip worth taking. Even the most ill-fated trips can turn into funny family memories in hindsight.
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