http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/9361 Back by popular demand…   It is inevitable that you will become an underwear sniffer in an effort to do less laundry.   You will never be able to get your kids to actually put their clean and dirty clothes where they belong if they ever catch you doing the sniff test, because it is more fun to declare to everyone that Mommy is an underwear sniffer.   Daddy going out of town usually coincides with Breakfast for Dinner on the menu.   Mommy going out of town means McDonald’s is on the menu. For breakfast, lunch and dinner.   She who goes to bed with dishes in the sink wakes up with ants on the counter.   Baby wipes are surprisingly useful to take off make-up, get crayon art off the wall and wipe down a bathroom prior to an unexpected guest.   Shout stain remover is a gift from God.   There are no such things as friends and respecting the elderly when it comes to getting the front row at your child’s school play or talent show night.   No one ever learns to like Brussel sprouts or lima beans.   The first time your baby sleeps through the night you will wake in a panic that they didn’t wake you.   You are not a mother if you have never caught throw-up in your hands, wiped snot without a tissue or sniffed a baby’s bottom for poo-poo.   Clean it and the mess will follow.   There is no such thing as finished laundry.   Telling your kids that monsters sleep under your bed and not theirs is not bad parenting, it’s sleep preservation.   Kisses and boo-boos go together like peanut butter and jelly.   Air-bags were really invented by a mother to keep kids from fighting over the front seat.   The Cartoon Network is a necessary evil. ☺        ☺        ☺ Back by popular demand…   It is inevitable that you will become an underwear sniffer in an effort to do less laundry.   You will never be able to get your kids to actually put their clean and dirty clothes where they belong if they ever catch you doing the sniff test, because it is more fun to declare to everyone that Mommy is an underwear sniffer.   Daddy going out of town usually coincides with Breakfast for Dinner on the menu.   Mommy going out of town means McDonald’s is on the menu. For breakfast, lunch and dinner.   She who goes to bed with dishes in the sink wakes up with ants on the counter.   Baby wipes are surprisingly useful to take off make-up, get crayon art off the wall and wipe down a bathroom prior to an unexpected guest.   Shout stain remover is a gift from God.   There are no such things as friends and respecting the elderly when it comes to getting the front row at your child’s school play or talent show night.   No one ever learns to like Brussel sprouts or lima beans.   The first time your baby sleeps through the night you will wake in a panic that they didn’t wake you.   You are not a mother if you have never caught throw-up in your hands, wiped snot without a tissue or sniffed a baby’s bottom for poo-poo.   Clean it and the mess will follow.   There is no such thing as finished laundry.   Telling your kids that monsters sleep under your bed and not theirs is not bad parenting, it’s sleep preservation.   Kisses and boo-boos go together like peanut butter and jelly.   Air-bags were really invented by a mother to keep kids from fighting over the front seat.   The Cartoon Network is a necessary evil. ☺        ☺        ☺ en-us I felt like a real mom the day I had no wipes and had to lick my hand and wipe my kids face. Something I HATED as a kid and swored I would never do. http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/9361/#c_82071 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/9361/#c_82071 I felt like a real mom the day I had no wipes and had to lick my hand and wipe my kids face. Something I HATED as a kid and swored I would never do. My own additions: It is inevitable that you will forget a load of wash in the machine and that you will have to re-wash it...at least once a week Paper plates are fantastic You will always have to share your food...unless of course it is brussel sprouts or lima beans http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/9361/#c_82072 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/9361/#c_82072 My own additions: It is inevitable that you will forget a load of wash in the machine and that you will have to re-wash it...at least once a week Paper plates are fantastic You will always have to share your food...unless of course it is brussel sprouts or lima beans It's almost like an out of body experience when you catch yourself licking your hand to clean your children. You are horrified you are doing it, but you can't stop yourself. Nice additions Hilary! Just re-washed a load of towels myself. http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/9361/#c_82076 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/9361/#c_82076 It's almost like an out of body experience when you catch yourself licking your hand to clean your children. You are horrified you are doing it, but you can't stop yourself. Nice additions Hilary! Just re-washed a load of towels myself. I am always re-washing forgotten clothes. I hate laundry...but you all know that. Here are some of mine: You will use the phrase "oh really, honey" thousands of times without actually listening Rewarding potty time with m&ms is nothing to stick your nose up about Having kids that think red wine is "coffee" is just fine Having kids that think antidepressants are vitamins is just fine Having kids that think their parents are actually "napping at 1 on a Sunday with the door locked is just fine http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/9361/#c_82077 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/9361/#c_82077 I am always re-washing forgotten clothes. I hate laundry...but you all know that. Here are some of mine: You will use the phrase "oh really, honey" thousands of times without actually listening Rewarding potty time with m&ms is nothing to stick your nose up about Having kids that think red wine is "coffee" is just fine Having kids that think antidepressants are vitamins is just fine Having kids that think their parents are actually "napping at 1 on a Sunday with the door locked is just fine seriously on the ants!  it's my own punishment for being lazy at 10pm and going to bed.  and i LOVE baby wipes!  is there anything they cannot do?  i think i will forever buy them, long after they are not wiping babies! http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/9361/#c_82082 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/9361/#c_82082 seriously on the ants!  it's my own punishment for being lazy at 10pm and going to bed.  and i LOVE baby wipes!  is there anything they cannot do?  i think i will forever buy them, long after they are not wiping babies! I think heaven might just be paved in baby wipes. Loooove your additions Amanda! Aren't you frisky -- my husband is actually napping at 1 pm on a Sunday... http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/9361/#c_82086 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/9361/#c_82086 I think heaven might just be paved in baby wipes. Loooove your additions Amanda! Aren't you frisky -- my husband is actually napping at 1 pm on a Sunday...