http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/10069 Momservation: Letting your child express their individuality and the pain it causes you to keep your mouth shut is your own mother’s sweet revenge for suffering through acid washed jeans with holes in the knees, black lace gloves and ten pounds of Aqua Net in your hair.   ☺        ☺        ☺   I knew if I was patient enough it would finally happen.   Of course there were times I thought being patient might kill me or at least cause me to make a midnight raid into my son’s room with clipping shears.   For eighteen months I suffered in silence. Well, not quite silence, but I really tried to reign in the subtle hints, suggestions and bribes.   And each day I cursed Zac and Cody and their moppy heads. The second I saw their shaggy style on “The Suite Life of Zac and Cody” I knew their Disney influence was going to be trouble.   So you can imagine my elation when my nine year-old son, Logan, finally uttered those sweet seven words, “Mom, I want to cut my hair.”   I wanted to shout for joy. I wanted to sob in relief that his phase of looking like a 70’s love child was, indeed, just a phase. I wanted to do a happy dance and burst into song to sing his praises for coming to his senses.   But, I had to play it cool so I wouldn’t undo eighteen months of tortuously supporting his self-esteem and self-image of wanting to look like Shaggy from Scooby Do.   “Are you sure?” I asked calmly while praying feverishly this one question wouldn’t change his mind.   “Yeah. Can we go today?” Logan asked.   “Let me get the car!” I raced for my keys.   “Um, Mom. School starts in 10 minutes. I meant after school.”   “Right. I’ll just call and make you an appointment after I drop you off.” The second his feet hit the school curb I was on my cell phone dialing.   I began to imagine having my adorable, clean-cut, All-American boy back. No more school pictures where I could hardly see those beautiful blue eyes. No more soccer pictures hiding his expressive eyebrows. No more basketball pictures disguising his ghost white forehead that hadn’t seen sun in nearly two years. No more evenings of staring at my son over the dinner table, trying to picture my little baby under all that hair.   Don’t get me wrong, Logan could’ve decided to shave half his head, dyed the other half rainbow, wear only orange and walk backwards on Sundays and I would’ve still seen him as perfect.   But then all bets are off and I wouldn’t have had to keep my mouth shut. I would’ve told him he was being a ding-dong.   Protecting self-esteem and self-image does not trump looking like an idiot. Momservation: Letting your child express their individuality and the pain it causes you to keep your mouth shut is your own mother’s sweet revenge for suffering through acid washed jeans with holes in the knees, black lace gloves and ten pounds of Aqua Net in your hair.   ☺        ☺        ☺   I knew if I was patient enough it would finally happen.   Of course there were times I thought being patient might kill me or at least cause me to make a midnight raid into my son’s room with clipping shears.   For eighteen months I suffered in silence. Well, not quite silence, but I really tried to reign in the subtle hints, suggestions and bribes.   And each day I cursed Zac and Cody and their moppy heads. The second I saw their shaggy style on “The Suite Life of Zac and Cody” I knew their Disney influence was going to be trouble.   So you can imagine my elation when my nine year-old son, Logan, finally uttered those sweet seven words, “Mom, I want to cut my hair.”   I wanted to shout for joy. I wanted to sob in relief that his phase of looking like a 70’s love child was, indeed, just a phase. I wanted to do a happy dance and burst into song to sing his praises for coming to his senses.   But, I had to play it cool so I wouldn’t undo eighteen months of tortuously supporting his self-esteem and self-image of wanting to look like Shaggy from Scooby Do.   “Are you sure?” I asked calmly while praying feverishly this one question wouldn’t change his mind.   “Yeah. Can we go today?” Logan asked.   “Let me get the car!” I raced for my keys.   “Um, Mom. School starts in 10 minutes. I meant after school.”   “Right. I’ll just call and make you an appointment after I drop you off.” The second his feet hit the school curb I was on my cell phone dialing.   I began to imagine having my adorable, clean-cut, All-American boy back. No more school pictures where I could hardly see those beautiful blue eyes. No more soccer pictures hiding his expressive eyebrows. No more basketball pictures disguising his ghost white forehead that hadn’t seen sun in nearly two years. No more evenings of staring at my son over the dinner table, trying to picture my little baby under all that hair.   Don’t get me wrong, Logan could’ve decided to shave half his head, dyed the other half rainbow, wear only orange and walk backwards on Sundays and I would’ve still seen him as perfect.   But then all bets are off and I wouldn’t have had to keep my mouth shut. I would’ve told him he was being a ding-dong.   Protecting self-esteem and self-image does not trump looking like an idiot. en-us Your last line says it all! While I'm all for supporting kid's autonomy, there still need to be limits. But bravo to you for letting him make the decision. :) http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/10069/#c_84373 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/10069/#c_84373 Your last line says it all! While I'm all for supporting kid's autonomy, there still need to be limits. But bravo to you for letting him make the decision. :) Great blog! You are so dead on. I have had the "battle of the hair" with my boy MANY times (so don't get too excited over this victory.) When the weather gets warmer, they usually conceed a little and go shorter. It looks GREAT! I had a deal with man-cub that as long as he kept it clean, I wouldn't impose my own will on his hair. At age 10 however when he came home from being with his grandparents for 3 days and didn't wash it once, I cut it myself right there in my bathroom. Another time it was to his shoulders and I just felt it was too long for him to manage. He was getting dandruff (and really, I was just sick of everyone assuming he was my daughter!) Chalk 1 victory up for mom! You totally did the right thing to just wait him out. They always come around. I'm sure he'll get tons of compliments from his peers (which always helps give you ammo for the next round.) http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/10069/#c_84377 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/kellimwheeler/10069/#c_84377 Great blog! You are so dead on. I have had the "battle of the hair" with my boy MANY times (so don't get too excited over this victory.) When the weather gets warmer, they usually conceed a little and go shorter. It looks GREAT! I had a deal with man-cub that as long as he kept it clean, I wouldn't impose my own will on his hair. At age 10 however when he came home from being with his grandparents for 3 days and didn't wash it once, I cut it myself right there in my bathroom. Another time it was to his shoulders and I just felt it was too long for him to manage. He was getting dandruff (and really, I was just sick of everyone assuming he was my daughter!) Chalk 1 victory up for mom! You totally did the right thing to just wait him out. They always come around. I'm sure he'll get tons of compliments from his peers (which always helps give you ammo for the next round.)