http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/hmoeckli/9013 July is one of the best months, especially when you are a teacher. The whole summer is ahead of you, and it's freedom as far as the eye can see. Even if you teach summer school, it's a very different feeling. There's walks to the park, family parties, and every imaginable type of BBQ. And of course, summery drinks. My sister and brother-in-law just spend the 4th of July weekend with us. They came over on Friday, and we BBQ'ed pork and had margaritas (yum and ouch, by the way.) Then, yesterday we had a really relaxing day. We got frozen yogurt and our Comcast was finally set up (yay, no more pirates!) We again had a tasty BBQ dinner and ended the night playing Wii Bowling (the girls kicked booty.) Today they left and Em went down, somewhat peacefully, for her nap. I have been putzing around my new home, folding laundry, etc. I am very happy to be here, but an undeniable funk has settled on me. I think it has to do with more than the muggy weather. Three years ago, my parents announced that they were splitting up, just days before the 4th of July and my dad's huge family reunion. We had family here from Nebraska and Colorado and we traveled all over the Bay Area, the entire time the five of us pretending everything was okay. It was horrible. This year it is also my dad's family reunion, but this time it is in Grand Junction, Colorado. Justin and I couldn't afford to go, either by plane or automobile, so we opted out. So did my sister, for the same reasons. My father still went and took his girlfriend and her two sons. In fact, he couldn't help move us last weekend because they were starting their trip earlier. If my dad had offered to lend us money or even pay for our tickets, I most likely would have said no. But I'm still surprised that he didn't offer. It's not like him. Or, at least, it wasn't like him. I know I'm being childish, but I can't help but feel replaced. I have deep anger about the fact that some woman is spending time with my family. I understand this is an immature response, but I just wish she would go away. I want my family back and I'm tired of sharing. I feel better now that I got that off my chest. Now, back to being an almost thirty year old. :) July is one of the best months, especially when you are a teacher. The whole summer is ahead of you, and it's freedom as far as the eye can see. Even if you teach summer school, it's a very different feeling. There's walks to the park, family parties, and every imaginable type of BBQ. And of course, summery drinks. My sister and brother-in-law just spend the 4th of July weekend with us. They came over on Friday, and we BBQ'ed pork and had margaritas (yum and ouch, by the way.) Then, yesterday we had a really relaxing day. We got frozen yogurt and our Comcast was finally set up (yay, no more pirates!) We again had a tasty BBQ dinner and ended the night playing Wii Bowling (the girls kicked booty.) Today they left and Em went down, somewhat peacefully, for her nap. I have been putzing around my new home, folding laundry, etc. I am very happy to be here, but an undeniable funk has settled on me. I think it has to do with more than the muggy weather. Three years ago, my parents announced that they were splitting up, just days before the 4th of July and my dad's huge family reunion. We had family here from Nebraska and Colorado and we traveled all over the Bay Area, the entire time the five of us pretending everything was okay. It was horrible. This year it is also my dad's family reunion, but this time it is in Grand Junction, Colorado. Justin and I couldn't afford to go, either by plane or automobile, so we opted out. So did my sister, for the same reasons. My father still went and took his girlfriend and her two sons. In fact, he couldn't help move us last weekend because they were starting their trip earlier. If my dad had offered to lend us money or even pay for our tickets, I most likely would have said no. But I'm still surprised that he didn't offer. It's not like him. Or, at least, it wasn't like him. I know I'm being childish, but I can't help but feel replaced. I have deep anger about the fact that some woman is spending time with my family. I understand this is an immature response, but I just wish she would go away. I want my family back and I'm tired of sharing. I feel better now that I got that off my chest. Now, back to being an almost thirty year old. :) en-us maybe soon he'll realize that the other people suck and that no one is as awesome as his own family.  http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/hmoeckli/9013/#c_80818 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/hmoeckli/9013/#c_80818 maybe soon he'll realize that the other people suck and that no one is as awesome as his own family.  I think it's VERY reasonable that you'd feel in a funk around the same time of year that you had the rug pulled out from under you like that. It's good to try and just focus on your OWN little family and not look to have your needs met by your parents. Easier said than done, I know. Like all things, it takes practice. It sounds like maybe missing the reunion (and your dad parading around with his girlfriend) wasn't a bad thing at all. You saved money AND had an amazing weekend! I wish we were neighbors! Heheh. http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/hmoeckli/9013/#c_80822 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/hmoeckli/9013/#c_80822 I think it's VERY reasonable that you'd feel in a funk around the same time of year that you had the rug pulled out from under you like that. It's good to try and just focus on your OWN little family and not look to have your needs met by your parents. Easier said than done, I know. Like all things, it takes practice. It sounds like maybe missing the reunion (and your dad parading around with his girlfriend) wasn't a bad thing at all. You saved money AND had an amazing weekend! I wish we were neighbors! Heheh. I feel ya sista!  I used to be get jealous of my dad's relationship with my (now ex) step mom's kids.  But it sounds like you had a great weekend with your family and that is really important!  I'm sorry to hear that you feel replaced, but there is no way you could ever be replaced! http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/hmoeckli/9013/#c_80838 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/hmoeckli/9013/#c_80838 I feel ya sista!  I used to be get jealous of my dad's relationship with my (now ex) step mom's kids.  But it sounds like you had a great weekend with your family and that is really important!  I'm sorry to hear that you feel replaced, but there is no way you could ever be replaced! Thank you ladies for the support! And in the super dose of reality department: I just talked to a friend from high school. She's pregnant, 28, due in October and she just found out her father's 28-year-old wife is due in January. (He's in his 60's.) Yeah, I don't feel so bad for myself. At least my dad has done the ol snip snip. http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/hmoeckli/9013/#c_80839 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/hmoeckli/9013/#c_80839 Thank you ladies for the support! And in the super dose of reality department: I just talked to a friend from high school. She's pregnant, 28, due in October and she just found out her father's 28-year-old wife is due in January. (He's in his 60's.) Yeah, I don't feel so bad for myself. At least my dad has done the ol snip snip. You gotta love watching your parents re-match themselves after a split. It is hard not to take that shizzz personally (trust me, I know), but it is so much better just to focus on your family. http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/hmoeckli/9013/#c_80854 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/hmoeckli/9013/#c_80854 You gotta love watching your parents re-match themselves after a split. It is hard not to take that shizzz personally (trust me, I know), but it is so much better just to focus on your family.