Parenting isn't that hard. - MaCole's Blog - SacMomsClub.com

Parenting isn't that hard. - MaCole's Blog - SacMomsClub.com http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/MaCole My experience as a stepdad and now real dad over the last seven years and how my wife and I adapt. My experience as a stepdad and now real dad over the last seven years and how my wife and I adapt. en-us Problem solving for a picky eater http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/MaCole/10664 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/MaCole/10664 <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman">What do you do with a picky eater?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>I don’t even classify my daughter as a picky eater, more like a stubborn eater.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>I love my daughter, who turned 9 in October.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>She does well in school, she’s awesome at any activity we put her in, she’s friendly, outgoing and very popular with her teachers and fellow students.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>There are only two things that my wife and I struggle with her on, eating and time management.<o:p></o:p></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman">The time management issue is frustrating but we’re implementing systems to improve it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Time management when coupled with eating pegs our frustration meter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>I don’t know how many times my wife and I have emphasized (quite loudly on occasion) that “it shouldn’t take 45 minutes to eat a (insert dinner item here).”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Short of physically feeding her, there isn’t much we can do to speed up the process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>We set the timer on the microwave and if she doesn’t eat her dinner in a certain amount of time she doesn’t get dessert.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Some nights it matters, some nights it doesn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>This isn’t the most effective way of handling our problem and suggestions are certainly welcome.<o:p></o:p></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman">Getting back to her palette in general…<o:p></o:p></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman">She’s had PB&J on wheat (she’d prefer white bread, but what kid wouldn’t) for lunch every day since first grade.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>I’m surprised that the repetition of lunch hasn’t worn out sooner than this year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span><st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Jordan</st1:place></st1:country-region> says she doesn’t want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich anymore, so I asked her to think of something she does want.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Her response is typical of a child her age, “I don’t know.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>I asked her to survey what her friends are eating for lunch and until she decides, she’ll continue to receive the PB&J.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Instead, she now has a “tab” going with the school lunch lady.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Evidently the lunch lady lets my daughter have a school lunch on a “bring me the money tomorrow” basis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span><o:p></o:p></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman">Yesterday, I put a ham and American cheese sandwich on white bread in my daughter’s pink soccer ball lunch box.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Guess what I found last night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Not only did I find the sandwich, I found the peanut butter granola bar with a nibble taken off the corner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>I have two issues with this:<o:p></o:p></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.75in; TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .75in"><font face="Times New Roman"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><span style="mso-list: Ignore">1)<span style="FONT: 7pt "Times New Roman"">    </span></span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">She wasted the sandwich and granola bar<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt 0.75in; TEXT-INDENT: -0.25in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .75in"><font face="Times New Roman"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><span style="mso-list: Ignore">2)<span style="FONT: 7pt "Times New Roman"">    </span></span></span><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt">What DID she eat?<o:p></o:p></span></font></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman">I confronted her on the lunch this morning and asked her what she ate yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>School lunch was chicken nuggets – battle lost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>I then confirmed that she owes the lunch lady $2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>I told her to take $4 because I’m not going to make her lunch today if she’s going to waste my time and money (she pays for the lunch out of her money).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>My plan backfired when I saw that school lunch was grilled cheese today.<o:p></o:p></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman">My wife and I are in agreement that it is all or nothing when it comes to school lunch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>We aren’t going to tolerate her eating school lunches on a pick and choose basis, if she’s going to eat there she’s going to eat there everyday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>But at the same time, we don’t want her to be hungry because it won’t do anyone any good.<o:p></o:p></font></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><o:p><font face="Times New Roman"> </font></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 14pt"><font face="Times New Roman">This is the part where I ask for help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>What has anyone done to solve similar problems with their children?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>What hasn’t worked?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>What are your thoughts?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span></font><o:p></o:p></span></p> What do you "love?" http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/MaCole/10549 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/MaCole/10549 <p>Again - i'm not a mother.</p> <p>This blog has been inspired by a number of things, most notably the iPhone.  </p> <p>Any professional business person has a smart phone now a days.  Black Berry, Samsung, Palm, LG, and most recently Motorola's Droid are standard examples.  But none of them seem to hold a candle to iPhone owners.  I am currently shopping for a better phone and poll almost everyone I see on how they like their phone.  So far  206 our of 207 people i've asked who own an iPhone say "I LOVE MY PHONE."  Okay, maybe not over 200, but "I love my phone" were their first four words.  The next iPhone user you come across ask them this question, "How do you like your phone?"  Try it, I dare you.</p> <p>What makes you "love" something?  We all love our children, our pets and our spouses (though my wife would tell you some days more than others).  But what makes you love something material?</p> <p>Getting back to the iPhone, I visited the Apple store in the Arden Mall to actually play with their toys.  I've never owned a Apple or Mac product and have always associated Apple & Mac with the "creative brained" people.  Anytime i've used one, I've wanted to cry because i'm VERY analytical and they're so different from what I'm used to with a PC.  After an hour of being there, I told the girl who was helping me that I wanted to hug her and I can honestly say I love their phone.</p> <p>But that wasn't necessarily just the phone.  <u><strong>I wanted to hug the girl that was helping me</strong></u>.  How often have you said that walking out of McDonalds, Best Buy or Kaiser?  It was the service I received coupled with the product that pushed me from like to love.</p> <p>On my profile page, I listed some of the websites I visit regularly.  One is <a href="http://www.satoriacademy.com">www.satoriacademy.com</a> or Kovar's martial arts webpage.  I love this company.  I love this company because of the values and morals they instill in all of their students, from barely walking to short of needing a walker.  My daughter took to it immediately and i've never seen her so focused.  Truthfully, teaching her martial arts comes in a distant second to teaching her how to be a respectable contributor to society - better than I EVER could.</p> <p>At Kovar's, my daughter receives quality training and amazing service and I love them for that reason.</p> <p>I also love Oakley sunglasses.  Well, I used to - I haven't bought a pair for a few years because i'm trying to wear out the <u>4 pair</u> I already own and i'm not that crazy about the new styes.  But i won't wear anything else.  In the past i've compared Oakley to Arnette, Smith, Nike and numerous other glasses with similar styling.  Oakley felt more comfortable, sturdy, had better polarization (if yours aren't polarized, get some because you'll never go back) and i've never had a problem with Oakley's customer service replacing parts.  So I love Oakley for their quality and service.  Hmm, a pattern.</p> <p>So what do you love?  Why do you love it?  Who told you about it?  How did you find out about it?  Do you refer this love to your friends and family?  If not - why not?  </p> <p>Matt</p> <p> </p> Parenting isn't that tough - my first post. http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/MaCole/10457 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/MaCole/10457 <div style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><font size="4">Parenting is easy. That’s kind of a bold statement coming from a less than seasoned veteran.</font></span></div> <div style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><font size="4">          Let me first introduce myself. My name is Matt, I’m married to a wonderful woman that is too good for me and have two daughters ages (almost) 9 & 11 mos. My wife and I have been married 2 ½ years after 5 years of being together. If you do the math, you’ll notice that my oldest daughter is older than my wife and I have been together. It was an “instant family, just add Matt” situation as a friend of mine so adequately described. </font></span></div> <div style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><font size="4">          For the last 7 and a half years (well 7 years because Jordan didn’t acknowledge my existence for at least 6 months) I’ve been learning how to be a parent. I will not even allude to being a pro because there is no way you can judge your performance until after your term. It’s like being President of the United States – you can set the rules, make the initiatives and put the plans in place for the future but won’t get any credit and often criticized for decades afterwards. I’ve never had any ambition to be President.</font></span></div> <div style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><font size="4">          Having my youngest has been a double edged sword when it comes to Jordan. I appreciate Jordan more and regret how I’ve acted even more than that. In fact, Jordan and I had a conversation shortly after Devin was born and I apologized to her. </font></span></div> <div style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><font size="4">          Devin has been wonderful. She’s slept through the night since 8 weeks old, eats like a champ, is very regimented in her schedule and even through teething has maintained an amazingly happy demeanor. She is why I think this parenting thing is a cakewalk. Yeah yeah yeah, I know –“just wait” right? Whatever. </font></span></div> <div style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt"><font size="4"> </font></div> <div style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><font size="4">Which brings me to my point. The easy part to parenting isn’t the baby, it isn’t the surroundings, it isn’t your husband or wife, its adaptability. It is a combination of all factors and your ability to handle them. My wife and I are not “it takes a village” type of people, but receive help from tremendous people. We are not “timeout” parents – but there is a time and place. We are not “turn the radio off” type of parents, instead my wife and I choose to illustrate what is and isn’t acceptable for their eyes. We made a pact that we weren’t going to be the parents that allowed our kids to ruin someone else’s day. The easy part is following our rules and being able to modify them on the fly. </font></span></div> <div style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; TEXT-INDENT: 0.5in"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 16pt"><font size="4">Parenting is frustrating, trying, nerve-racking, turbulent, shocking, astonishing and inglorious work <u>on a daily basis</u>. No kidding right?  Looking back, the last seven years hasn’t been work at all. Someday if the framework my wife and I set in place is successful, we’ll be promoted to Grand-President. </font></span></div>

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