Lessons in Helping Others - CarolynNewcomer's Blog - SacMomsClub.com http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/CarolynNewcomer Teaching kindness, values and manners to kids, as well as teens. Teaching kindness, values and manners to kids, as well as teens. en-us Choosing Civility: Teaching Manners to Kids (and Adults) http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/CarolynNewcomer/10370 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/CarolynNewcomer/10370 <p>Wow.&nbsp; Who knew I was just hitting the tip of the iceberg with this subject matter.&nbsp; Essentially my blogging efforts are to bring an awareness of lack of character education in our society today.&nbsp; It was one of the reasons I wrote my children's book, <u>Barf's First Flight - Lessons in</u> <u>Helping Others</u>.&nbsp; A story of friendship and kindness between an airplane sick bag and tissue.&nbsp; The book&nbsp; is&nbsp;to be used as a tool to teach young children&nbsp;a willingness to serve others,and to serve with manners.&nbsp; Apparently though, I am not the only person fed up with the lack of character so many people seem to demonstrate.&nbsp;Keep in mind&nbsp;these same&nbsp;parents who exhibit blatant rudeness are also&nbsp;teaching their children&nbsp;life lessons in manners and consideration for others.</p> <p>Last week, Oprah hosted a show entirely on this subject matter:&nbsp; <u>Choosing Civility</u>.&nbsp; The book so aptly titled is written by Dr. P.M. Forni, a professor at Johns Hopkins University.&nbsp; Dr Forni co-founded the&nbsp; Johns Hopkins Civility Project (JHCP) in 1997.&nbsp; Their mission: &nbsp;to assess the significance of civility, manners and politeness in contemporary society.&nbsp; Needless to say, we have a lot of work to do America.&nbsp; Dr. Forni states that &quot;the quality of our lives is a reflection of the quality of our relationships&quot;.&nbsp; If truth be told, most, if not all of us struggle with maintaining healthy relationships no matter how hard we try.&nbsp; The fact is, social skills, such as good manners, and&nbsp;kindness to strangers&nbsp;strengthens social bonds.&nbsp; If we are not practicing these skills on a daily basis how can we possibly have healthy relationships?&nbsp;&nbsp;Rude behavior among children and adults effects the quality of our lives.&nbsp; It causes stress and anxiety which ultimately creates a negative aura that can permeate our lives, and our children.</p> <p>This topic goes beyond &quot;please and thank you&quot;, or good table manners.&nbsp; It is about how we treat our friends, loved ones and strangers.&nbsp; So next time you are tempted to <em>pretend</em> you did not see the other car heading for the same parking spot.&nbsp; Please, by all means...choose civility.</p> Sharing...the Great Compromise http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/CarolynNewcomer/10343 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/CarolynNewcomer/10343 <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; How many times do your kids play &quot;tug of war&quot; with toys, remote controls, Xbox controllers...the shower?&nbsp; Its a new school year, we are still adjusting but lets face it, my kids are a bit older and should know better.&nbsp; But they don't.&nbsp; It is a never ending cycle of parenting maneuvers in my household.</p> <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; The shower was the issue at stake this morning. Although it would have never been a problem if the eighteen year old had rolled out of bed on time.&nbsp; But alas, the eleven year old beat him to the nozzle.&nbsp; Suffice it to say there was enough yelling and banging on doors to make any TV reality show look tame.</p> <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Mom, aka: the referee charges the bathroom with the determination to resolve this problem quickly and rationally.&nbsp; &quot;Its time you guys learn to share!&quot;, &quot;you're lucky the five of us are not sharing one bathroom&quot;, &quot;your old enough to take turns nicely!&quot;.&nbsp; None of it worked, there was no reasoning to be had.&nbsp; I resorted to the old tired and true, &quot;stop it or your both grounded!&quot;.&nbsp; Not very original, I know, but when the clock is ticking and the bus is arriving you don't have time for creative parenting.</p> <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; The point to my story is character education never ends, no matter how old your kids are and will be.&nbsp; Parents of older children heed my warning and never let up on teaching your children kindness.&nbsp; As for the next time, the eleven year old, with the later schedule understands he must have his breakfast first,&nbsp; then shower.&nbsp; A compromise made in the spirit of sharing.</p> <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; For more lessons on sharing and caring visit our dear family friend, Barf.&nbsp; His website can be found at:&nbsp;&nbsp; <a href="http://www.barfsbooks.com">www.barfsbooks.com</a>.&nbsp; Other sites for character education&nbsp;books can be located at <a href="http://www.desertskyone.com">www.desertskyone.com</a></p> Role Modeling Kindness http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/CarolynNewcomer/10320 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/CarolynNewcomer/10320 <p>How can parents teach kids kindness?&nbsp; Role modeling&nbsp;of course.&nbsp; So often we get bogged down making sure our children are aware of every lesson life has to offer.&nbsp; But one of the simplest,&nbsp;and &nbsp;sure-fire methods is simply being a good role model.&nbsp; </p> <p>Treat others kindly; your neighbors, the grocery store&nbsp;clerk, missionaries at your front door, house cleaners,&nbsp;gardeners,&nbsp;the soccer coach, the list is&nbsp;endless.&nbsp; You will discover that it is not that tough to&nbsp;always be kind to whomever we meet in every day circumstances.&nbsp;&nbsp; Say &quot;hello&quot;, ask them about their day, throw in a &quot;please&quot; and &quot;thank you&quot;.&nbsp; Simple gestures will go a long way, and your kids will benefit without a lot of extra effort on your part.&nbsp; Lets face it, if you are living your life in kindness,&nbsp;your children can't help but follow your lead.</p> <p>Share your suggestions, how do you role model kindness?&nbsp; </p> <p>To learn more about lessons in helping others follow Barf's lead at:&nbsp;&nbsp; <a href="http://www.barfsbooks.com">www.barfsbooks.com</a> or check out character education programs at your local school.</p> Family Road Trip & Family Bonding Gone Bad http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/CarolynNewcomer/10303 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/CarolynNewcomer/10303 <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; What does traveling with a family of&nbsp;five 1200 miles each way&nbsp;have to do with building character in children?&nbsp; A lot, actually.&nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;I would imagine, like most mothers&nbsp;we all&nbsp;day dream of creating a family unit that is close, loving&nbsp;and connected.&nbsp; A tight-knit family unit that cannot be torn apart.&nbsp; A&nbsp;family that enjoys every waking moment together. &nbsp;A girl can dream can't she?&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;&quot;I'm bored&quot;, &quot;this is stupid&quot;, &quot;why can't we just stay&nbsp;home&quot;.&nbsp; These were some of the more memorable comments from my three children during this trip.&nbsp; &quot;Boredom is the catalyst for creativity&quot;, I quip.&nbsp; &quot;Stupid is as stupid does&quot; (yes, I stole that&nbsp;one, but who cares), &quot;you can stay home with Grandma instead.&quot;&nbsp; Not a real popular option with the almost 18 year old.</p> <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; What was learned on this 30 hour round trip odyssey?&nbsp; Boredom truly is the antidote for great conversation.&nbsp; Stupidity fosters utter silliness and laughter. And well...a week with Grandma's rules and regulations creates a fear so imposing that&nbsp;vacationing with Mom, Dad and younger siblings becomes tolerable.&nbsp; We are a close family after all.</p> <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Love to&nbsp;hear your stories of traveling with kids and lessons learned.&nbsp; Or to learn more about teaching kindness to kids visit:&nbsp;&nbsp; <a href="http://www.barfsbooks.com">www.barfsbooks.com</a></p> <p>Carolyn</p> Family Road Trip Horrors- Lessons Learned http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/CarolynNewcomer/10285 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/CarolynNewcomer/10285 <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Wondering how to build character in your children?&nbsp; Take a family road trip of course! Travel 1200 miles each way&nbsp;in the confined space of a beat up Suburban reading 203,000 miles on the odometer. Cross some of the ugliest landscape the United States has to offer,&nbsp;and see how their personalities shake out.&nbsp; Teaching kindness comes in all forms, and traveling together as a family of five is a sure-fire way to fine tune your parenting skills.&nbsp; Negotiating DVDs, hand-held games, I-pods,&nbsp;headsets, and pillows&nbsp;can instantly turn a car ride into a battlefield if you don't maneuver quickly.</p> <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Thankfully, the kids caught on and discovered the fine art of bartering for goods&nbsp;that began&nbsp;with a blue gumball.&nbsp; Creating an awareness of win-win scenarios in young kids is a life lesson learned.&nbsp; It is a skill that will help them through their school years, and well into adulthood.&nbsp; Isn't this one of&nbsp;the goals all parents are after?&nbsp; Teaching young children to be mindful of others' needs?&nbsp; </p> <p>&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; These lessons and more are the essence of our dear family friend Barf.&nbsp; Kind-hearted, world traveling airsick bag teaches all sorts of lessons of kindness to young children.&nbsp; Take a look at his website to learn more...<font color="#0000ff">www.barfsbooks.com</font>.&nbsp; Love to hear your road-trip horror or joyful stories.</p> <p>Carolyn</p> <p>(aka: Barf's Mom)</p> How Kind Are Our Children? How Do We Teach Them Kindness? http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/CarolynNewcomer/10166 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/CarolynNewcomer/10166 We love our children and hope they will grow up to be kind, respectful people. But is modeling kindness and giving them love an effective recipe for creating caring adults? The jerk who cut you off on the road this morning was probably someone's sweet little boy not long ago.&nbsp; The competitive, cut-throat coworker making your life miserable was most likely the darling of her parents.&nbsp; How do we instill the value of kindness in kids so they become the adults we want them to be?&nbsp; I'm passionate about passing the values of kindness and caring on to our children. I've written a children's book to bring this message to kids and help parents further the discussion of compassion and giving with their children.<br /> <br /> How do you teach kindness to your children?


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Lessons in Helping Others http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/CarolynNewcomer/10155 http://www.sacmomsclub.com/home/Blog/CarolynNewcomer/10155 Have you ever wondered, &quot;who will my darling babies turn out to be?&quot;&nbsp; Not long ago, the jerk that cut you off on the road this morning was someone's sweet little boy.&nbsp; And that self-absorbed co-worker who would throw you under the bus to get the boss' attention was a mother's &quot;cutie pie&quot;.&nbsp; What ever happend to taking the time to teach kids kindness, values and just plain good old fashioned manners?&nbsp; Any thoughts out there?