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champagne taste on a beer budget
Member Since: April 01, 2008 Last Signed In: August 03, 2009 Blog Views: 1023 Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend
dear daughter, forget it!
the science of being strange. oh no she didn't! it's all good the answers that come with time what would posh do? the good, the bad and the worlds ugliest shoes. squat, stretch and reach world? are you still out there? life in the carpool lane April 08 May 08 June 08 July 08 August 08 September 08 October 08 November 08 December 08 January 09 February 09 March 09 April 09 May 09 June 09 July 09 August 09 September 09 October 09 November 09 December 09 January 10 February 10 March 10 
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the science of being strange.
there is one type of mom in this world that i admire most. the graceful social butterfly. you know the woman. always listening, genuinely interested in you and has a perfect response for every situation no matter how hairy.
i am not one of these women. in fact i have admitted defeat in my social skills. if you have not yet met me, or haven't figured this out about me let me fill you in on my dirty little secret. i am uncomfortable and painfully insecure. i have a real knack for saying the wrong things, listening only partly, then asking you exactly what you finished telling me, and flat out akward silences. this is most obvious when i get compliments on my child. "oh she's so cute" "what great hair she has!" and in my mind of perfect witty me, i would respond with an equally flattering compliment and strike up a conversation with my new best friend. nope. it pretty much ends with silence. sometimes a grunted thank you from me followed by silence. as a stay home mom, i literally am with my daughter 24 hours a day. and naturally many of my personality traits have been transferred to her. her love of lip gloss, her love of pretty dresses, right down to the way i talk to the dogs. my mini-me. however, her social skills are far beyond mine. it is amazing. for example today at the gym, i drop her off at the in-gym child care and off she goes to find her current best friend and they go skipping away together holding hands to have a great time. it made me smile. and cry. i was happy thinking she has beaten the curse of social akwardness, and instantly pictured her to have a full and perfectly graceful life. i cried thinking of my own childhood clinging to my mom's leg begging her not to leave me at daycamp, summer school, the neighbors, or anywhere i was expected to interact with other kids. if i can instill anything in her as a mother, i can only hope it would be confidence. confidence to be social. not the shallow confidence that makes women wear a skimpy dress only to see them secretly tugging at it to make it fit better confidence, but real i don't even notice what you think of me confidence. the confidence that glows from the inside out. and i can honestly say that right now, she glows. 7 comments from 5 users
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posted by
AmandaS
on Apr 27, 2009 at 09:46 PM
I know you feel socially dysfunctional, but I swear I think you are far from it. I love your wry and sarcastic sense of humor and your total genuineness. I am totally uncomfortable around really, really nice people. They make me nervous. I'm always afraid I am going to unknowingly blurt out the f bomb for no reason.
posted by
creatress
on Apr 28, 2009 at 08:16 AM
I think we all feel like that on the inside. Some kind of awkward reject from a John Hughes movie. Let me just reassure you that I've known you for a while now and we've had many social interactions (and conversations together) and I've NEVER felt you were anything other than beautiful, together, charming, interesting, witty and engaging. Honest! Let me prove it to you: I'm sorry, but this doesn't sound like the same person you just blogged about!? I think you're just having a "kick yourself in the pants day." We all have them and you're very entitled. Just know that I think you're great and am lucky to have you for a friend! posted by
KellyG
on Apr 28, 2009 at 10:53 AM
I can totally relate to this. Being at home with the little ones can be socially isolating. ` I always admire those women that seem so confident. Conversation is effortless and everyone feels good being around them. I've always been painfully shy and a little socially awkward so I am so happy my daughters are social and outgoing.I watched recently as my four year old went into the bounce house at a community event. She went up to a girl and said, "Do you want to be friends?" and then they happily bounced together. I wish it was so easy for me. But that said, in talking to others about this topic, many feel the same way and just fake their way through it. posted by
creatress
on Apr 28, 2009 at 01:21 PM
It IS that easy KellyG! Just instead of "wanna be friends" it's "wanna get some coffee?" Hahaha. No grown woman can resist THAT invite!
posted by
AmandaS
on Apr 28, 2009 at 01:37 PM
Or wine...you can almost always ask a tired mom to have a glass of wine. :-)
posted by
wifemotherdaughtersister
on Apr 29, 2009 at 07:25 AM
thanks you guys for the support! and yeah i know what i'm feeling is not special to only me, i need to remember that everyone stuggles with feeling adequate. and i'm totally the girl with the neck brace on in sixteen candles!!!!hey kellyg-we should meet up for coffee together and blubber our way through conversation someday! love you all! posted by
hmoeckli
on Apr 29, 2009 at 10:26 PM
You are seriously one of the best listeners I have ever met. I so admire that about you. And you never fail to totally crack me up. It's awesome.I get what you are saying though. I never feel comfortable with other people. A little voice is always nagging me after I hang out with someone: "Oh, you shouldn't have said that. Now she'll never call you." It's like 7th grade never ends. I too struggle with how to show my daughter how to be a confident young woman when I feel so insecure all the time. But then I remember, despite my fears, I have great friends and that they are super supportive, cool women. :)
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