SacMomsClub.com

Has anyone seen my brain?  I seem to have misplaced it and my husband has informed me that it’s time I go back to work to find it.  Affronted by his insinuation that I had probably left my brain there (I know it’s not because I couldn’t find it there, either), I haughtily sniffed and told him that Human Resources said I still had time, so nyah.  I righteously stuck my tongue out, thus effectively ending the conversation.  Whether I return to work for my own good or for his remains to be seen, though I suspect that he wouldn’t be opposed to me going back sooner than later.  His motivation for this is that he thinks that I’m going to lose my mind and if I don’t go back soon, I may never get it back.  That tells me that I’ve succeeded in my ruse that I had a mind to begin with for the last five years of our marriage.  But that’s not the only secret I’ve been hiding.  Welcome to my world of guilty pleasures.

My husband had come home from work and I was my relating how cute it was when I back-danced with our daughter to the America’s Next Top Model theme song.  I held her tiny hands while she lay on her back and moved them around to the beat while bopping and singing along.  Okay, singing is a stretch.  I was making a noise sounding vaguely like the theme song.  Anyway, she thought it was funny.  With wide blue eyes, she belly laughed and squealed with delight.  Now how cute is that??

I thought he’d find it as endearing as I did.  But no.  Didn’t even crack a smile at my solo demonstration.  Apparently, he found my grooving to the ANTM theme song equally, if not more, disturbing to the fact that I watch the show.  Or maybe it was my disjointed bopping and tuneless recreation of the theme song.  It only looked crazy because it was out of context, but I got THE LOOK.  I get THE LOOK a lot.  What can I say?  I like the show for its artistic content.  I love seeing how the photo shoots are going to turn out.  It’s not as bad as some people saying that they read certain magazines for the articles.

Maybe I’m too open about my guilty pleasures and not so secret, secrets.  Of course, our daughter’s three and a half month old sense of humor is going to be on a different level as my husband.  Not in the maturity level, but in the content of what is funny.  For myself, my dignity is a small thing to sacrifice to the entertainment of our daughter.  I never claimed to have a surplus of dignity in the first place.  As for my husband, it’s his fault that he hadn’t figure out when we first started dating that I only pretended to have some sense of decorum.  My husband calls these my “quirky bits”.  Is it wrong that:

1.      I can be bought with quality milk chocolate or a double tall soy mocha?

2.      Like to microwave peanut M&M’s so that they’re all melty with chocolately yumminess inside?  (You have to be careful, because if they cook too long, burnt chocolate tastes icky.  Zap ten seconds or until you hear the first shell crack, then stir them around and do another ten seconds or so, depending on your microwave.  I have this down to a science.)

3.      Have the musical taste of a 14 year old boy

4.      Like to pour Bailey’s Irish Cream over my ice cream?

5.      Bypass the glass and drink my wine directly out of the bottle?  Of course, only after I’ve asked if anyone wants some.  But not always.

I think by now you get the idea that I’m full of bad habits.  But I’m sure that’s only until I get my brain back.  Maybe it went to visit the land of the missing socks.  I hope it’s only a visit.