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My mother used to stand in the driveway, extra set of car keys in hand, and wait for my father to pull in from work. She would yank open the door, haul him out of the car and careen on two tires around the corner for parts unknown.

I might be exaggerating a little about my mother yanking my father out of the car, but not about her standing in the driveway waiting for him to come home so that she could get a break. That part mom says was true. But I couldn’t for the life of me understand why she would need a break from her little angels (Brats. Totally spoiled. My dorm roommate had to show me how to do laundry.). Now I can relate. I really look forward to my days off. 

I am very grateful that my husband gives me days off. I take shameless advantage of this. Everyone was right. These days off are ESSENTIAL to my well-being as well as my baby’s. When I get my days off, I am out the door and won’t be seen for 8 hours or so. No phone calls to see how the baby is, no dropping by to check on things. I’m totally gone with no guilt whatsoever. I confess that I hardly think about what might be going on at home. This comes from 41 years of practiced self-absorption. This is MY time. When I come back from my day off, I am ready and looking forward to seeing my baby and resuming my mom role. But it is so important to DO SOMETHING ELSE.

Part of why I need to be gone is my inability to not interfere. My husband does a wonderful job with our daughter. In fact, I learn a lot from watching him. But I need to let him do things his way or let him figure things out. My control freak nature won’t allow this. I can only stifle myself for so long before I short circuit. This became very apparent when I found myself standing in the kitchen in my underwear (not a pretty sight) because I thought that he needed my input. He didn’t. Therefore, for the sake of our marriage, I can’t be there.

I realize how fortunate I am. I love my daughter, but in order to be a good mom, I do need a break. My time home with my daughter has given me a whole new appreciation and respect for my mother and all moms. It makes me want to call my mom and apologize for being such a rotten teenager. But then again, what goes around comes around and you know what they say about pay back. When it happens, I’ll need to call my mom so she’ll know that her saying “I hope you have kids like you” has come true and she has earned the right to say “I told you so!”