HomeWhat do you mean by practice baby??
What do you mean by practice baby??
I'm a first time mother. While I'm aware that what I'm experiencing is in no way unique, I really am very unprepared. I'm a tightly wound, type A personality. I'm usually fine with things not going as expected as long as I understand why. Unfortunately, they seemed to have misplaced the manual when my baby was born and this poor kid has me for a mother.
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Tonight, I was on my knees. And not in any fun way.
Did you ever see that Mad About You episode where they were cowering outside the door letting the baby cry itself to sleep? That was my evening tonight. Not a unique experience, I understand that. But I am a tightly wound person who has a pathological need to understand the whys and whats of things. My baby, Erin, isn't sharing. She's five weeks old, so regardless of how much I ask, she's not telling. I have three things that I understand and can deal with very well. Is she hungry? Need to be burped? Wet? And they don't even need to be in that order for me to deal. It's the dreaded "Miscellaneous" that's starting to happen now that she's older.
At first, I was lulled by how easy this all seemed to be. She'd eat, poop, then sleep. The most recent thing that she's throw in is "I'm tired". Seems easy enough, right? It is, as long as you #1 get the visual cues of her rubbing her eyes, #2 realize that it's been X amount of hours since she was last asleep, or #3...it's the number three that kills me. I don't know what the heck number three is. Tonight, there was no indication that she was tired. She wouldn't be soothed by any of my tried and true methods and started to scream until I thought she was going to have a stroke or seizure. I got to the point where I just put her in the bassinet and got down on me knees and prayed to God to help me figure out what was wrong. She'd never screamed like this before and I was starting to get scared by it. It seemed like God wasn't talking either. So I left the room to try and see if I could think through what was going on. But that's the thing. There is nothing I can think through. That's what really tears me. When I can't figure something out. My rational mind understands that sometimes there isn't a reason. There's nothing to figure out. But I get spun out about it anyway. After about fifteen minutes, she stopped crying. Of course, I had to run in there and make sure that she was okay. And she was. Still is. So, she really was overtired. Now, I'm overtired. I'm ready to follow suit and go to bed before I start throwing my own hissy fit for no reason apparent to anyone else. Now if I can just figure out why sometimes she wakes up out of a sound sleep crying... 4 comments from 4 users
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posted by
hmoeckli
on Jul 3, 2008 at 02:17 PM
posted by
ToscaSac
on Jul 3, 2008 at 01:44 PM
The first few weeks are hard. Give yourself a hug and pat on the back you will make it through even if you don't always understand how you do it or why you are having to deal with what you are. Every child is different as are the families they are born into so take all advice with that pound of salt. I can recall that it seemed my dd liked to cry in the early evening around 7pm for a period of time no matter what I did. Other than that she was usually able to be soothed and went to sleep nursing then would sleep through until another feeding was needed. Some times a baby/child/adult lol sigh can get themselves so wound up all you can or should do for them is leave them alone and they will self calm. Sounds like what happened in the case you described. You prayed and the answer came just not the way you expected it ;>
posted by
wifemotherdaughtersister
on Jul 3, 2008 at 06:34 AM
ah yes the let them cry approach.a mothers torment, a mans suggestion. you will do ANYTHING to make your baby feel better, just for her to not be in any sort of discomfort, and get some zzz's at the same time. my baby really liked the kitchen. i would be standing in that kitchen all night rocking her, singing stupid made up songs to her, my back killing me, shooting daggers at my peacefully sleeping husband. but then that was the thing. she could feel my feelings. she would totally know that i was pissed, scared, tired, irritated, concerned, everything. i don't have any solid advise other than it will get better. and then this will be replaced with something else. posted by
MiaMama
on Jul 2, 2008 at 10:47 PM
I know what you mean about not knowing why she's crying. She could be gassy, tired, hungry or just need to be cuddled!My daughter is now 8 1/2 months old. The first 4 months were the most challenging. I would always make sure to sleep when she slept. The nights will get better with time, for example sleeping a 6 hour stretch opposed to a 1 1/2 hour stretch. Our baby still wakes up crying in the middle of the night and my new thing is to try and sooth her by holding her close and telling her "it's ok". Rarely that does the trick to get her back to sleep, so I end up having to nurse her back to sleep which only takes about 5 minutes or so. Then I sneak her over to the changing table and change her diaper while she sleeps and then put her down. Good luck, it will all work out.
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Hey, she's only five weeks old and you can type full, coherent sentences? I'm impressed! At this point, I was solely mono-syllabic: Eat now, pee now, sleep now...etc.
I'm sure you've heard this many times, but it will get better. And who knows why they cry. Sometimes they have a reason; sometimes it's just an existential crisis (WHY AM I HERE?!?) They sure are cute when they sleep though. :)
Hang in there!