HomeCreating My Own Adventure
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There's No Crying in Candy Land
I can't remember the first time I lost at something. Perhaps it was a game with my siblings, cousins or other family members. I don't remember how I reacted or if I even cared. Learning to lose graciously (whatever it is) is a great lesson to learn. One that my pre-schooler is having a hard time with. Enter: Candy Land. Jakey got Candy Land for Christmas. It was fun for me to open the box and re-live Peppermint Forrest, Lollipop Woods and Chocolate Swamp. Jakey caught on quickly and actually won the first few games, complete with taunting. "I got to Candy Land first," he teased. But his luck ran out and I actually won a game. This did not go over well as he promptly knocked over the game pieces. I tried to explain that he wasn't going to win every time he played. Over the next few days his emotions ranged from anger to tears when he didn't get to Candy Land first. Finally, my husband said, "there's no crying in Candy Land". We played again tonight and maybe his heart wasn't in it or perhaps he was tired, but when my husband got to Candy Land first, Jakey simply said, "let's play again". Progress? Maybe. We'll see tomorrow when we're at Gumdrop Mountain. 5 comments from 5 users
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posted by
SacMom
on Jan 3, 2008 at 12:05 PM
posted by
creatress
on Jan 3, 2008 at 03:49 PM
That was great! Thank you for sharing. There are so many talented writers here. I'm really enjoying everyones blogs.
posted by
hmoeckli
on Jan 3, 2008 at 03:51 PM
It's rough for kids to lose, but it's such a necessary lesson. I remember HATING it when I was a kid and throwing more than a few tantrums. While I'm not an early childhood expert, it seems to me that you are on the right track with playing games with your soon. I've taught middle and high school for the past seven years, and it's amazing to me that kids get to 12, 13, even 17 years old with no coping skills when it comes to losing. And at those ages, throwing a tantrum is not only unacceptable; it can be dangerous. Personally, I'm not looking forward to my daughter learning how to lose. (But I can't wait to play Candyland.)
posted by
ToscaSac
on Jan 3, 2008 at 07:13 PM
From what I have seen there might be a bit of girl boy difference in how reactions to things like losing go. My brother had a horrible time with it and I was more accepting. But I am also older by 5 years and it could just be a personality issue. I think learning to deal with all situations and circumstances well is what life is all about and can help you get through life the best way possible but I think there is some wisdom in the idea that younger kids are just that young kids and need a bit of freedom to explore and express. That being said there is also work out side of win or lose games that parents and adults need to do in the areas of relationship building, skill building and confidence boosting. Teaching children that all they can do is their best and they are loved no matter what will go along way to reducing the stress of not always being the best, first, right or only. But again these things take time and different children have various thresholds for tolerance to approach these issues with. Praise and compliment good behavior and don't over emphasize the negative so kids know what you want and not what you don't want out of them you know?
posted by
ktja
on Jan 3, 2008 at 10:39 PM
Thanks for all of your comments. I agree that praise and complimenting good behavior goes a long way in building trust and confidence.
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This reminds me of the Thanksgiving when my 25 year old cousin broke the wish bone with our 4 year old daughter. After he got the biggest part he proceeded to do the Victory Dance as she fell apart on the kitchen floor!
My wise aunt gave me a great piece of advice that day..."Let them win until they are 5 - they have plenty of time to learn about being a good sport, now they just need to learn how to play."
It really is true, we've done this with all 3 girls and even when the twinnies were young, we figured a way to let both win. This has helped them be gracious winners now. Good Luck