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The phrase “sexy mama” has infiltrated pop culture rhetoric for awhile. As I embarked on a little makeover for Kidaround, I wanted it to reflect today’s moms even more: modern, elegant, unique and—dare I say?—maybe even a little sexy. So I started researching exactly what a sexy mama is. I went to thesaurus.com* and typed in s-e-x-y, and got:

Main Entry: sexy. Definition: attractive. Synonyms: arousing, cuddly, erotic, flirtatious, hot stuff, inviting, kissable, provocative, risqué, seductive, sensuous, steamy, titillating, voluptuous…

Hmm. So I thought I’d see what they had to say about us mamas, so I typed in m-a-m-a. Assuming “mom” or “mother” would come up, you can imagine my shock when this popped up:

Main entry: enormous. Definition: large. Synonyms: astronomic, barn door, blimp, gross, huge, humongous, massive, monstrous, prodigious, stupendous, super-colossal, titanic, tremendous…

That’s right. Not mom, mother, mommy—enormous. Did you see gross in there? Yep. Barn door, too.

And when I typed in “sexy mama,” of course there were “no entries found.” So this begs the question: Why does society tend to think sexy and mama need to be mutually exclusive? Someone found us sexy in the first place (that’s usually how one becomes a mama, anyway).

Oh, sometimes (okay, often) it is mutually exclusive, or we want it to be. Like when we are growing a nine-pounder in utero. Or for the months following us squeezing one out (if only it were that easy). Or when the baby is crying in her crib in the room next door. Or when we just can’t seem to lose that last 10 pounds. And sometimes we just can’t help being very unsexy, like when we are cleaning the toilets or getting puked on.

But attractive barn doors? No, thank you. We want our hubbies to find us sexy—but not too much. When I asked some girlfriends if they’d go to the city and unbury our sexy sides at an S Factor workshop, about half wanted to avoid it like the plague—because then their husbands wouldn’t leave them alone. I’ve been there, too, but I’m now at a place in life where I think it’s not such a bad thing. And when you are open to it, it just feels good to know your man still digs you, stretch marks and all.

So, when I found myself in the city on business, I checked out an intro S Factor class. Dim room, amber lights, no mirrors, great music. Trying to learn “the firefly” (a beginner pole trick) and falling on my butt? Not one ounce of sexy.

But, as three various sized and aged women taught the class to S Walk and do the firefly, they owned it. It wasn’t for anyone else but themselves. They simply reveled in their womanhood, and that was incredibly sexy.

The most important idea they instilled was to slow down—really slow down—and recognize the woman inside yourself, the one your husband sees despite often being covered in sweats, a baseball cap and maybe even puke. This is hard for busy moms, but what you’ll find is a sexy mama inside. All you need is time to slow down—and maybe a change of clothes.

Barbara Hennelly
Publisher, Kidaround Magazine


*Source: Roget’s New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.3.1) Copyright © 2007 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved.