SacMomsClub.com

With the first month of 2009 coming to a close (and a few more gray hairs to hide), here’s some Momservations for each day of January:

• It is a beautiful sight to behold watching your children head back into the halls of education – after Christmas break.
• It is a good day if your butt hits a chair before bedtime – car seats and toilet seats excluded.
• A grocery list lives on in perpetuity.
• Siblings: Live to fight, Fight to live.
• People would rather complain than give a compliment. Teach your children differently.
• Comedians are born at the dinner table.
• Nothing says love more than a homemade birthday card that uses all your tape and loses your scissors.
• You’ll have to come up with something better than boogers, vomit and diarrhea to gross out a mom.
• If mom ain’t happy, no one’s happy. It’s just a fact.
• Nothing puts the breaks on a productive day like a phone call from the school nurse.
• You can teach the lesson by letting them clean up the spill, or you can save a bigger mess and clean it up yourself.
• Don’t cry over spilled milk – yell and demand it be cleaned up before it soaks into the rug.
• There is a special place in heaven for mothers who still love their teenage children.
• A panic attack will pass, but gray hairs are forever.
• If an uneaten lunch gets thrown away at school and Mom doesn’t see it, does it still count as consumed?
• The Freedom of Information Act holds no authority over a pre-teen girl avoiding the consequences of being caught in a lie.
• A seasoned mom can detect the sound from behind a closed door of pee splattering all over a freshly cleaned toilet because a young man is being careless with his aim.
• What is dessert if not a bargaining tool?
• The person who invented mobile DVD players deserves the Nobel Peace Prize.
• Anyone who wants proof that life isn’t fair should check the pay stub for the job of motherhood.
• The smell of a baby, a freshly bathed child (who really did wash their hair) and brownies are scents of heaven.
• A boy and his XBox are soon parted when a note from a teacher comes home.
• A girl and her Hannah Montana/Jonas Brothers/Radio Disney CD’s are soon parted after a phone call from a former BFF’s mother.
• Definition of a miracle: Getting everyone in one household to agree on which TV program to watch.
• Adding a second bathroom is worth the money and will add years to your life (and possibly save a marriage).
• Thank you Lord for:

-         doors that shuts (and lock)

-         a 7-hour school day

-         baby wipes

-         bedtime

-         wine