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Most Smartest Mommy ITW (In The World)
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I Get No Respect
Being a work-at-home mom gets me no respect. I’ve got one foot in happy homemaker land and one foot in driven career woman terrain and apparently I’m not doing either too well. Evidenced by dishes in the sink from yesterday and an article due yesterday. I find very few people who truly get what I do and the demands on my time it takes to be both stay-at-home mom and successful writer. This includes my own husband and children. Case in point: This morning as I raced around getting breakfast going, lunches made, dog fed and de-pooped and homework folders signed off, I was simultaneously jumping on the computer trying to get an article submitted before noon East Coast Time. Before jumping in the car to take the kids to school I ran to the back of the house to grab my gym bag, hoping against hope to squeeze in a workout sometime today. I was feeling good that we were on time, everything accomplished when suddenly I notice my son fighting back tears. “What’s wrong?” I asked, my motherly concern about to be thrown back in my face. “I’m going to miss five minutes of recess and I was ready on time!” he said squarely pointing the blame on me for this huge injustice in his life. Oh no, no – I don’t think so. The boy better check his watch because it was time for a wake up call. “Oh, I’m sorry,” I began in shrill sarcasm that would soon ramp up to the wail of a warning siren, “I’m sorry I have a job to do, that I actually get paid for, unlike making your lunch which if you wanted a full 15 minutes of morning recess instead of 10 then maybe you should have taken care of that. Or maybe breakfast. I don’t remember seeing anyone jump up to make breakfast. Or take the dog for a walk so he won’t poop in the house. Oh, but you don’t pick up poo do you? Mommy’s the poo picker-upper. And have you ever, EVER, been late for school? Never. So wipe away your tears, suck it up and take one for the team Logan!”
Poor kid took a direct hit on that short-fuse landmine. We were all cool by drop-off, but after a quick trip to the gym and a shower, instead of putting on my usual work uniform of my coziest comfy pjs (which might have a tinge to do with my image problem), I put on my new favorite shirt I recently won in a writing contest. Interestingly, I’ve been commanding more respect lately when I wear it. It reads: Careful, or you’ll end up in my novel. 7 comments from 7 users
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posted by
AmandaS
on Dec 9, 2008 at 07:04 AM
I respect you...no...really, I do! I can totally appreciate the sentiment of this post. No matter what, all of the unnoticed effort to maintain the details that we moms put into everything around us represents a constant struggle for street cred. Your situation is even more so because the "hidden" nature of your work. ;-) Please don't put me in the novel. I promise to be a loyal and faithful friend. posted by
creatress
on Dec 9, 2008 at 08:07 AM
I think you are AMAZING! I too have had those moments where the man-cub just walked right into it. You had every right to respond like that. And YEAH! I hear you on the no respect end! People just don't "get it" (my husband included.) Well, you have my respect! Your shirt sounds great.
posted by
Hope
on Dec 9, 2008 at 05:48 PM
Oh i feel for you. Its funny cause you described my mornings exactly....including the dog poop. Take out the article due and its the same. I cant imagine having that added pressure. I tell you, your post here makes me thankful i DONT have a demanding job...or at least that i dont put pressure on the job i have. I love your response to the boy. That sounds like something i would spout too.
posted by
wifemotherdaughtersister
on Dec 10, 2008 at 06:19 AM
ummmmhmmmmm.my hub works from home alot in the evenings and it gives the illusion that he is home and available for me to nag him. but really he's not. it's taken me a long long time to finally leave hi alone when he is working from home. maybe if you worked out a system like the shirt, where if you are wearing headphones or earplugs, that is the signal that you are not home. just be thankful you don't have a couple of toddlers running around ,with their poop to pick up! posted by
catclan
on Dec 10, 2008 at 01:49 PM
I totally understand also. I think most of us do. It's hard being a mom. I feel like I do everything around here. And trying to get the older kids to help a little is SO hard. I'm trying but some days I just don't feel like I should be doing the mom job. Good luck to you and put some my way too, because I need it.
posted by
hmoeckli
on Dec 10, 2008 at 09:41 PM
Oh my god, I want that shirt so bad! I know it doesn't feel great to unload on kids like that (well, it feels great at first, but not later), and I have certainly been guilty of it a couple times (uh, try a million) in my class room, but sometimes kids do need a great big wake up call. You made good points: hey, you want more recess, help out Mom. Good luck balancing everything! And I think it's so cool you are a writer for a living. That's awesome. And, I still want that shirt. So cool... posted by
kellimwheeler
on Dec 10, 2008 at 11:00 PM
You gals rock! Thanks for the commiseration and support. I promise not to write about any of you -- or at least heavily disguise your part! ;) I actually have a follow-up to my not so Mom of the Year moment. The next morning before I got up, my son was already dressed (I usually help him pick out his clothes), and my daughter was making her lunch. They both were very helpful, we got to school with plenty of time to spare, and we all were so pleasant and cheerful to be around. So, even though my delivery left something to be desired, it was heartwarming to see they got the message and it was important to them to be a part of the solution. Now let's just hope it doesn't all get undone with a two week Christmas break...
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