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Hey everyone, I have something exciting to tell you about.  I had the most proud moment, and tearful wake up call that my 3 1/2 year old is growing up way too fast. 

I enrolled him in gymnastics and our first class was last night.  I was so afraid, because I wasn't sure how he would do having to follow directions coming from someone else.  See I have a daycare and he has always been around me and the kids I care for.  He has never taken any kind of class, or been in a classroom environment.  I was scared that he wouldn't listen, cling to my leg and not want to participate, and that he just wasn't mature enough yet.  It also takes him a long long time to get used to new people, so I wasn't sure how meeting his teacher would go.

WOW- BIG wake up call for me.  He threw a fit because we were a few minutes early and he couldn't start, he ran in asking me to stay back, he listened to everything the teacher said, and he even gave her a hug on the way out.  He even said to me, "Bye mom I go to Miss Megan's (his teacher) house now." 

While I watched him do his class I cried.  I felt ridiculous, but the warmest, proudest feeling came over me and I just burst into tears.  Seeing how happy he was, how much fun he was having, just made me so happy.  Now, there were moments where he would get so excited that he would wonder off, and start to goof off, but she brought him back and he continued on. 

This might sound like I am being negative about my son, but I am amazed he did so well.  He remembered all the things he was suppose to do, and did them all so well.  It just made me realize how much growing he has done that I haven't realized.  I never saw it because we are usually in the same atmosphere day in and day out, and in this new environment a whole new kid was in front of my eyes. 

He talked about it all night long.  I have a friend who had a similar experience with her son, and now I know how she feels.  To see so much joy and pure excitement in your child's eyes, there is nothing more rewarding as a parent. 

I will remember this day and cherish it the rest of my life. 

Hey everyone, I haven't bogged in quite a while.  I have been so busy.  My daycare filled up and there have been so many things going on.  What I need help on is this.

I want to enroll my older son who is 3 1/2 into preschool.  I would take the daycare kids with me to pick up and drop off, but now I have too many I can't.  SO.. I need to hire someone and I don't know where to start.  I have the paperwork from licensing that I need, but what about all the payroll taxes and workers comp?  I have never been in this position before, so forgive me if I sound naive, I am! 

Anyone have any advice for me on how to get this going, or what I need to do?  If you have a daycare and have hired someone, please let me know what the process is.  I would greatly appreciate it. 

Kind of on the same note it makes me a bit sad to send him to preschool.  We went and visited my old school where I taught and when we got in the car he says to me,"Mommy can I go school?" Oh... it broke my heart.  I know he will love it and have so much fun, I am just having a very hard time letting go.  I am nervous as hell. 

So if you can help me...please let me know.  Thank you so much.

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Hey everyone, I haven't been around in a while.  I have been so busy, and just got out of the habit of logging on. 

Well this last weekend my husband and I had the chance to get away for a weekend, and let me tell you it was perfect timing.  My brother got married in Colorado, and he asked me to be in the wedding.  So we took off on Friday, luckily my daycare parents were so understanding about me needing the day off, and we headed out.  The wedding was a beautiful Catholic wedding, and we partied until midnight.  It was the most fun I have had in a long time.  Not to mention I was doing all of this with my two best friends, my brother and my husband. 

I don't get to see my brother very often, maybe if I am lucky once a year.  My dad who I never get to see also was there.  He travels around in an RV, so he is rarely around.  It kills me to not have my family with me here, we are all so close I really wish we were all together.  The fact that they don't get to interact and be a part of my children's lives really makes me sad also. My mom passed away years ago, and ever since that we have geographically gone our own ways. 

But this weekend was a perfect time to be together.  Seeing my brother so happy, and he really did marry a sweet girl, I could not wish more for him.  I hated to leave, although I was anxious to get back to my boys, I didn't want to leave my family.  I cried all the way home because that weekend reminded me of how much I really miss them. 

You never know maybe some day we will all live in the same town next door to each other.  Life is always full of twists and turns, until then I will cherish the time I had with them this last weekend.

Hello everyone, its been a while.  I have been so busy.  My brother in law visited from Minnesota for a few weeks with his little girl, that was a fun time.  We don't get to see him but once every few years.  My kids have been keeping me insanely busy.  But the reason I am posting is it happened again.   I don't know if any of you remember back in December I had a miscarriage, well it happened again.  It was actually a surprise that I was pregnant, and at about the same time around six weeks I started what seemed like my period.  There wasn't much the doctors could do, and they really don't have an explanation for it.  They want to do some sort of scan or ultrasound of my uterus to see if there is a reason the eggs are not attaching. 

I am growing a bit concerned though.  Last time it happened the more I talked to people the more I found out that this is farely common, but twice in a row?  I am wondering if anyone else has had this problem.  I know its a bit personal to talk about, but I would like to see if anyone has any insight. 

I wasn't as depressed this second time, more just disappointed.  The first time was a lot harder.  We have decided to wait a while to try again, if at all.  Maybe after summertime.  We have a trip in August to Tahoe for a week I want to try to lose some weight so I can fit into a bikini! (that would be for the first time in my life)

Anyways, if anyone has had this experience I am sorry for you, but I would love to hear from you.  I thank God every day for the two wonderful boys I have and for the best husband in the world.  If it was meant to be that our family will grow, then it will grow.  Somewhere down the road maybe. 

Man what a couple of weeks I have had.  It all started last Monday when my son fell down and had to go to the ER to get a cut on his head closed up.  He fell playing the computer and almost needed stitches, but fortunately they used skin glue instead.  Then my 1 year old got sick, just a cold, but he is also teething like crazy.  He has been so difficult to please, and getting into everything!  I know he is feeling bad so I am trying to be a little more understanding and patient, but man!

I don't know if its because I am not giving them enough attention, I can't imagine that, but they both are getting into things they know they are not suppose to, fighting which they usually don't do, and I hate to sound like an horrible mom but they are just driving me bonkers.  Its like I haven't been able to sit down and just breath in two weeks.  Is my 16 moth old hitting the terrible twos? And is there such a thing as the terrible threes?

Now I run a daycare, and I think its funny that my daycare kids are behaving like angels, while my own children are climbing the walls.  I am afraid they are being bad influences on them.  I feel like I am always hounding my children too, and I don't want the other kids to think I am getting mean all of a sudden.  They probably wonder why Erin is acting nuts. 

I wish I could escape to a retreat and sleep, take bubble baths, and listen to ocean sound for a whole weekend.  The problem is I would miss my kids too much!  Even though they are driving me bonkers right now, I have a hard time being without them.

I usually cut my sons hair.  He is almost three and he hates it, or so I thought.  When I do it he practically hyperventilates, and cries so hard he can't calm down.  Well I am happy to say I am never doing it myself again!  I found Jillybean Salon for kids.  Its on Harding and its wonderful.  I went first thing Saturday morning because I thought no one else would be there, I was afraid of his reaction. 

He sat in a firetruck, and watched Baby Einsteins on the TV (which are two of his favorite things).  He still fought the haircut, but nothing like he does with me.  Donna was so great, she helped me back off a bit so that he could accomplish this on his own, and I am so proud of him.   I thought I would have to hold him down, but the less I held him the better he did. He did have a major meltdown... when we went to leave.  He did not want to leave, he wanted to stay and play with the toys.   I recommend this place to everyone.  (I don't work there!) 

My husband and I went to church this Sunday for the first time being married.  We wanted our 3 year old to go to the Sunday school there to get an idea of what preschool would be like, and we wanted to see if we liked the church.  My 3 year old had a blast, a friend of mine was in the classroom with him, and she said he loved it.   We liked the church overall, the songs, the preacher was funny, and it had a warm feeling to it.  However it left my husband and I a little conflicted about our beliefs.

We both agree there is a God, and that a higher power does exist.  But some of the things that the preacher talked about didn't make sense to us.  Can we believe in God and Jesus, but not agree with some of the things in the Bible?  Can you call yourself a Christian and still believe in Evolution? He talked about prayer, and he referenced to a part in the Bible that said since God couldn't find one person in some land to pray, he destroyed the land.  In the book of Jobe he said that Satan could do anything he wanted to this man, but the only thing he couldn't do was to take his life.  It was to prove to Satan that no matter what you did to him his belief in God would remain.  Now our first thoughts were, wow that is a pretty harsh thing for God to do.  He is destroying a land, letting Satan torture a man, and from what the preacher said he had boils from head to toe.  Should I believe in a God that would do this? He also said that if you don't pray then God basically wants nothing to do with you.  He also said that God should be your number one priority in life, and that he is responsible for all good and bad that happens.  Now I could be misinterpreting all of this, but my husband and I took it the same way.  When he told us about all the things that God does for us in our lives I thought to myself, no my husband and children do that for me.  I related everything back to them.  They are my number one priority.

I want to believe in Jesus and be religious.  I want to attend a church that says its okay to disagree with some of the things in the Bible.  Some of the things in there just don't make sense to me.I don't want a church to tell me what to believe, I want them to support me in what I already believe, and to not try to change me. 

There have been too many things that have happened in my life to make me think, someone is really watching over me.  I don't know how I survived some things unless there is a God and he protected me.  But there are so many questions, and it seems that its either 100% believe or don't believe at all.  I quit going to church a long time ago for this very reason.  Every church I go to tells me that I have to believe 100%.  I am not sure I can.  Does that make me an atheist? 

I am so confused, and I don't know where I stand.  So many of my friends are Christians and they believe with all their hearts, I wish I could, because then I wouldn't have this conflicted feeling inside me.  

Wow I really sound desperate, I'm not.  I'm fine.  My whole life I have had these questions, and this weekend just brought them all back into my mind.  All I can say is that I pray for my family and friends to stay safe and healthy every day because that is what means the most in my life.   I hate to say it but without God in my life I still have my family, but without my family I would have nothing. 

Hello everyone, I hope you all had a great Holiday.  I have had a rough one.  My life has been going so well for so long I guess things were due to happen.  I had a miscarriage right before Christmas (really got me in the mood for Christmas!). Then a few days later when we went to pack up my grandmothers house to sell, the place had been broken into, and there were a lot of things missing.  However, even those things happened I still managed to have a wonderful Christmas.  My family cleaned up my grandmothers while reminiscing about the old days, and instead of cooking we went out to a nice dinner.  We had a great time.  I had a hard time getting over the end of my pregnancy, but since it happened so early on, about 9 weeks(that I am thankful for that it wasn't much later) that made it a bit easier.  We spent Christmas at home with my boys and my husband's mom.  It was a wonderful, quiet,(except for the new toys), and a happy Christmas.  When Christmas day came I thought back at all that had happened and then I looked around at my family, and I just felt to humble to have what I have.  I started to cry and my husband thought it was because of all that happened and I said," No, its because of whats happening right now." I have an amazing husband and I still wonder how I got so lucky, two adorable kids who light up my world with every glance, and a mother in law like no other (in a good way). 

So even though it was rough, it was a great Holiday.  I hope all you Holiday's were great too.  Happy New Year! 

Well it's the countdown to Christmas.  My family is having Christmas the weekend before with my family who lives in San Diego.  I am very excited because we don't get to see each other very often and we are all going to be there.  All the cousins, aunts, and my dad who I get to see but once a year.  But this year is going to be a sad Christmas, it will be the last Christmas we are going to be able to have at my grandmother's house.  We had to move her into a senior home, and we sold her house.  This is the house we have celebrated Christmas in since I was born, and this Christmas is going to be spent packing it up.  We don't know where we are going to spend Christmas from here on out because my grandmothers house is a halfway point between San Diego and Sacramento.  It's in Fresno, and no one else is left in Fresno but her.  So I am looking forward to Christmas, but yet the closer it gets the more sad I get. 

I am sure my family will find another way to get together, but it will never be the same as grandma's.  There are so many wonderful memories from that house, I will keep those in mind as Christmas comes around.