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Teacher by day, Mommy by night

Teacher by day, Mommy by night
Juggling the demands (and insanity) of being a high school teacher, a wife, and a mother to a toddler
About hmoeckli


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October 28, 2007
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hmoeckli - > Teacher by day, Mommy by night -> Just the Two of Us
Just the Two of Us
The past couple of weeks I have re-discovered a lovely thing: sleeping with my husband. Before you click to another blog, I don't mean this in a sexy-time way.

Allow me to explain.

When our daughter was born two years ago, she was just a bit premature, which meant that Kaiser was super psycho about us feeding her every two hours. I was also trying to breast feed, which now that I look back at, my daughter was just not ready for. She didn't get it. She wouldn't even take to the bottle: we had to use a syringe. The upshot was that by the time I finished feeding her, I had about 40 minutes to "sleep" before I was up again. It was rough. Out of our exhaustion, we would let Em sleep with us.

Well, the family bed thing continued as she got older. My husband and I started teaching again when she was 3 months old, and we were unmotivated (lazy you might say) to change anything in the sleeping the department. Em's room was clear across the apartment, and it was just easier to keep her in bed with us. And to be honest, it was nice waking up with her on the weekends.

When we moved to Elk Grove, our new apartment was more conveniently laid out, so we would put Em down in her crib. She'd wake up around 1 or so, and we'd bring her to bed with us. Also (and there's gonna be plenty of parents groaning out there when they read this), we rocked her to sleep every night. Again, we didn't want to change this craziness because it was working.

Then, it stopped working.

Out of frustration, Justin just started putting Em in her crib. She was NOT happy, but then a miracle happened: SHE FEEL ASLEEP. I know to many of you this is a duh moment, but for Justin and I it is a miracle. A beautiful thing.

So now we live in our new house. Em has a cute little room of her own. At 1:30, she goes down for her nap and at 8:30, she goes to bed. No rocking. Very little crying (not every night is perfect.) And now my husband have more free time than we ever imagined.

And we have our bed back. It's kind of strange, actually. Justin rolled over last night and put his arm around me. I couldn't remember the last time he did that. We always had a baby in between us.

My husband and I have talked about having another child, but he's always been wary of it. I think because he was the one mainly responsible for getting Em to bed, and it was exhausting. Now, he seems more relaxed: we can teach our child how to sleep independently. He actually mentioned having another kid (not in the near future, but still, he's open to the idea, which is big for him.)

I'm in no rush. I'm enjoying our new sleeping arrangements, and I see no need to mess with them.

Update: I think it is wise to remind people, new parents and even those more experience, that you are setting yourself up if you brag about something your kid can do. Em was up ALL last night. Wouldn't go to sleep. Kept us up singing. Fun. Of course, she's still sleeping and I'm awake.
Topics: sleep
posted by hmoeckli on Saturday, August 2, 2008 at 10:20 AM
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6 comments from 6 users

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posted by wifemotherdaughtersister on Aug 3, 2008 at 08:39 AM
i think it's confusing when people have children superclosetogether.  i'm thinking how?  how does that happen? don't you need to not have a child sleeping between you with a tiny foot jammed in your back?

it's nice to just be able to spread out and take up half of the bed huh? 
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posted by creatress on Aug 3, 2008 at 09:15 AM

Oh yeah, I remember those days. Wow, that is a big deal to have that time back with each other. YAY! I'm so happy for you both. You looked very much in love together yesterday by the way. I saw him gazing at you as we were talking. You're lucky to have each other. It is indeed important to foster that time together and enjoy each other. Babies can wait.

 

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posted by hmoeckli on Aug 3, 2008 at 11:06 AM
It's been a really nice couple of weeks. He just mentioned this morning that it is so great that she has her own room. We both feel we've claimed some of our old selves back.

Creatress--thanks for the kind comments. :) I think we are both so much more appreciative of each other now, especially since we know we will NEVER see each other this upcoming school year. Every moment is special now.
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posted by MiaMama on Aug 3, 2008 at 12:00 PM
How nice to have the bed back together alone!  Mia has slept her own bed so far, but right next to me in our room.  I'm looking forward to her having her own room once we get moved in to our new place!
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posted by lmkoster99 on Aug 3, 2008 at 11:16 PM
I am so glad you have your bed back!!  I have heard so many nightmares about that.  Austin is the opposite.......we can't even get him to come & hang out in the bed in the mornings.  He has never wanted anything to do with it.  It really used to bother us that he wouldn't just cuddle for a while in the mornings, but after reading your blog, maybe that is for the best!!  I'm so glad you can get back to being able to appreciate each other.  It seems in a marriage, there isn't much time for the "us".  Our world always seems to revolve around our little miracles!!  Enjoy!!
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posted by ktja on Aug 3, 2008 at 11:38 PM
My son Jake (4 years old) has only slept in our bed three times. I always wanted him to cuddle with us, but it wasn't and still isn't his deal. My daughter (1 year old) has never slept with us either. Oh well. I do enjoy cuddling on the couch! I'll take what I can get.
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