HomeTeacher by day, Mommy by night
Teacher by day, Mommy by night
Juggling the demands (and insanity) of being a high school teacher, a wife, and a mother to a toddler
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I should know better
My daycare lady is going on vacation next month, so I sent an email to family members who offered to help watch my daughter in these situations. Well, now I'm in a mess. Partly my fault, yes, but a mess nonetheless.
So here's the email I sent to my daughter's grandparents (all three sets): Hi Everyone! I hope everyone is doing well. We are having a quiet weekend after Justin's big birthday bash. Emerson's daycare will be closed the following days: March 10-18th and April 21st. We wondering if any of you would care to watch Emerson for us on any of those dates. This would be a great help to us because Justin will be able to sub and I won't have to use any sick leave. Please let us know if you are available. Also, she is taking off a week in November too, the 3rd through the 7th. Thank you so much! Talk to you soon! I thought it was a reasonable email, but still we have issues. My husband's mom emails me and says that she'll take Emerson the whole week...in Redding. And she volunteered my sister-in-law (I'm pretty sure this will be news to her) to watch Em during the day. First, I'm not ready to spend a whole week without my daughter. Second, my sister-in-law has her own daughter, and I don't want to be a burden on her. They just bought a house, etc. So I'm a big girl, and I email my mother-in-law and say that I just don't feel comfortable with Em being gone the whole week. Could she stay at our place half the week and in Redding the other half? The response I got: "I'd get cabin fever staying in your apartment." And that was it. So I have no idea where the situation is. I see an uncomfortable phone conversation in my future. What makes it worse is that my mom also wants to watch Em (which I did not anticipate cause she's watching her the weekend before.) And my mom is not enjoying my mother-in-law right now, so I don't really want to tell her the whole situation. I don't want to give her a reason to bad talk my husband's mom. (My husband will lose it.) I've evaluate this situation and come to the conclusion that I need to be much more specific: ask one person for a couple days and another for the rest and be clear that I want Em to be at home. I'm sure I'll get through this okay, but I just HATE confronting women. I'm so intimidated by them and it's so unpleasant. Ugh. I just feel really stupid about not anticipating that this would be the result. It's ironic to me that when family offers to help, it ends up being about the opposite. Boo. 4 comments from 4 users
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posted by
mom2twinboys
on Feb 13, 2008 at 07:25 AM
It seems like dealing with family can sometimes be more difficult because you want to keep everyone happy. It's good that you are taking advantage of their offers to help. You wouldn't want them to feel like you don't want their help when they offer it. You are very fortunate you have family close by and that they want to help.
posted by
creatress
on Feb 13, 2008 at 12:07 PM
I totally know what you mean. I'm sorry. It sounds like you have a good plan though about being really specific. Any problem anyone has with that will just have to be THEIR problem. I came off for years like the big over-protective **** to both our families. But you have to do whats best for you and your family. If that means people think you're rude... well, not much you can do about it. I'm sorry it gave you added stress though. That sucks. Oh, and the comment about cabin fever in your apartment was pretty rude. I think I would have said something like "Hey! Feel free to buy us a bigger place anytime!" posted by
nratcliff
on Feb 14, 2008 at 01:56 PM
I may have a solution. My daycare has an opening and is small - she may want the extra $ if only for a week. Should you be interested contact me and I will give you her location, name and number. This would solve the problem with family and while you will have an expense it could save you in pain and suffering. Contact me if interested: nratcliff@ka-pow.com
posted by
hmoeckli
on Feb 14, 2008 at 06:23 PM
Thank you for all your kind words and encouragement! Things are resolved (for now), and I think I was just having a stressful day.
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