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Something rare happened in our house last night. We had a fight. Not my husband and myself, but all three of us. My son has his own blog which he uses as an on-line diary of sorts. He recently did a blog/review about a bad public singing performance. My husband read it and became really upset by it. He felt my son was being harsh and a “cyber bully” in regards to his extreme comments about this singer (who isn’t anyone in pop culture and was just trying her best.) Tears ensued and I was caught in the middle.

I saw both points of view, but was really stunned to see my husband so upset. This topic had triggered a lot of emotion in him that I’ve never been witness to before. On the other hand, the person he was upset at was my son, and I didn’t agree with his reaction. It’s tough to be a mom stuck between a rock and a hard place.

First I talked to my husband. Tried to see his point of view and tried to help him get some perspective on the situation. Then I talked to my son who, to my surprise, handled the whole thing really well. When my husband had calmed down, he came out and the THREE of us had a talk (family pow-wow time.) This time it went really well. My son saw his dad’s point of view and in the end edited his blog on his own accord. My husband regained his perspective, and now I think is even closer to our son. Me? I was still pissed about the whole thing and it took a while (and more talking with my husband 1:1) to calm down. Family drama sucks and I have a new appreciation for our logical tendencies.

This morning finds me with eyes almost puffed shut from last night’s drama. Thank goodness it’s summer and our week of running to and fro doesn’t start till tomorrow. Anyone have any good “puff eye” remedies? The cold, damp washcloth didn’t do much to help.

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About six weeks ago I started having sharp pain in my right side. Like most moms, I was busy and blew it off. When the pain turned into vomiting, turned into body aches and me in bed however, I hustled to the Dr.

They ran blood tests, pee tests, and took a CT scan. Nothing really came back with answers. They told me to rest (hah!), drink lots of water and take pain pills (can I get my co-pay back?) Fast forward to today and I still am having daily pain and have a GI appointment on Tuesday that scares me. I’ve heard too many stories from friends and families about the “mad scientist” style tests GI’s do and am seriously weighing if the pain is “that bad.”

Here’s my question. Why do we pay billions into health care when we as patients end up self-diagnosing in the end? I was the one who “discovered” my son had Autism, I was the one who told my Dr. I wanted my thyroid checked and I didn’t think it was “depression” (I was right on both accounts.) Now, I’ve been telling my Dr. that I’m suspecting the pain is being caused by my change in thyroid medication (the dose got upped right before this started.)

It just seems like you’re trying to run in a pool of jello. I’m just so MAD! And tired of waiting! And tired of it hurting! And… well… tired! I’m tired of doing it ALL, all the time! I want someone to take care of me for a change. Apparently, that’s just too much to ask of my Dr (who I honestly do feel is a good Dr. It’s just the system that’s flawed.) I’m tired of thinking “oh well, at least I HAVE insurance. At least I’m seeing the GI (who tried to make me wait 2 months to get in.)” Why is crappy, “good enough?” If I’m still in pain and have no answers, why is that ok?

-pant- -pant- Ok… I’m feeling better now. Thanks for letting me rant a little. I’m sure you ALL have your own medical mishap stories. How about a share to cheer me up?

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A miracle happened in our house this week and I just had to share. Anyone with older children (well, past the age of 3) may be aware of how quickly your job description goes from “mother” to “nagger.” My son (it seemed to me) couldn’t lift a finger unless I told him to. Every day was the same; “Did you feed the dogs yet? FEED THEM!” or “Did you take out the trash like I asked you to three hours ago? TAKE IT OUT!” Why am I paying him allowance again?

Well, our summer started off this exact way; “Feed the dogs, take out trash, put your clothes away, clean up your crud…” It only took two days for me to want to sell him to the gypsies and feed the dogs myself. Something HAD to be done. “Look” I said to my 15 ½ year old man-cub, “Something HAS GOT TO CHANGE! I cannot, will-not go through summer nagging at you like this, reminding you of every little thing you have to do every day! I have my own stuff to do too and you need to suck it up and be more responsible.” I told my darling man-cub that he had three choices. 1) A paper “to-do” list that he would write out every day the night before, then DO IT! 2) Program everyday reminders (like feed the dogs) into his cell phone’s “task” list. Or 3) I would teach him how to use the calendar feature on his e-mail account that would send him daily e-mail reminders. He picked 2.

After a few kinks (like setting the musical reminder at 8AM rather than 10AM), the cell phone reminders worked like a charm. Then… yesterday, a breakthrough! Before I got out of the shower in the morning the dogs were fed and trash and recycling had been taken out! TAH DAH! You bet I praised him to the high heavens.

Now, I know it won’t be perfect. I’m sure I’ll still find myself nagging, but I do consider this a huge step in the right direction. Learning to manage your time and stay on top of your own tasks is difficult for any teenager (heck, most adults can’t even do it!) So for my special needs kid to begin to make progress in this area… well… I’m thrilled!

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The Special Olympics that is. They will be held at UC Davis this Friday. One short mile from my house. So, guess what family is going to be volunteering? Yup, mine.

Around November my husband was looking for a local “team building experience” for his department. Coincidentally, I had gotten an e-mail from my church that very day asking if anyone would be interested in volunteering at the Special Olympics at UC Davis in the summer. I told my husband about it right away and said what a great organization I feel they are and how lucky they’d be to volunteer for it. My husband brought it before his department and… not only did everyone in his own department want to participate, but almost the entire organization is now volunteering.

My son isn’t much of a “community involvement enthusiast,” but I think even he understands what a wonderful opportunity this is to help others. Plus, we have the best job ever. We get to escort the athletes! I’m so thrilled.

Check out their website, and please, take the “R Word Pledge.” Contrary to what people think, the Special Olympics aren’t just for people diagnosed with Down Syndrome. There’s a variety of differently abled athletes who gather together and compete. I’m thrilled we get to be a part of it on Friday.

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Yesterday we went to Sonoma to celebrate Father's Day early. No one told us that it’s NASCAR weekend in Napa (and Sonoma didn’t have anything about it on their town website or calendar of events.) Despite the horrid traffic coming home, overwhelming smell of duck poo in the air and gusts of wind blowing pollen in our eyes till they were red and swollen, we had a great time.

Sonoma is a very charming town, and very close to where we live. The downtown area had some great shops, but it was a little sad to see so many of them closed, or having massive sales. My son’s favorite store was the Sonoma Cheese Factory. We ended the day with getting yummy cheese to take home for dinner. My husbands and my favorite store was a cooking supply place called the Robin's Nest. Can you tell my family loves food? It’s actually one of the few things that all three of us still have in common.

Like a typical 15 ½ year old, man-cub spend the majority of the day texting his friends. I’m guessing they went something like this: “OMG! It SMELLS HERE!” or “<eye roll> I can’t believe I’m stuck here WITH MY PARENTS!” He was actually a really good kid. One of the things I love best about man-cub is that he doesn’t whine or complain. He knows it won’t do any good anyway, so he just sucks it up and makes the best of it. When we were almost done with our adventure I did make him put the phone away so as to better “live in the moment.” He is the multi-tasking generation for sure, but it’s something I’m trying to make him more aware of.

The highlight of the day for me was just to be somewhere different, spending time, just the three of us. Watching my son out-grow my husband and I is like watching grains of sand fall too quickly down an hourglass. I know we don’t have many special moments like this altogether, so I’m savoring each and every one I get.

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY!

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I was recently reading someone describing a father in delivery as “feeding you ice chips, wiping your brow, cradling your newborn tenderly as you rested.” Now, before I delve into this, let me just add that my husband is wonderful, I love him dearly and he’s a great dad… However…

This is not what happened when my son was born. There were no ice chips being fed, no brow wiping, and no cradling (done by him once the crying started.) He was freaked out and like a dear in headlights. He was overwhelmed and I think shut down on me a little. Sure, he tried his best (heck, he even cut the cord!), but unless I was barking an order at him he just stood there with a look of terror on his face. I’m honestly shocked he ever wanted to have sex again after seeing that look go on for hours.

The magic moment I would have to say really came around midnight. I had been up for the last two days giving birth to his son (yes, two days) and said son was now wailing louder than I thought possible for a newborn. My husband? Oh, he was playing “Sleeping Beauty” on the sofa sleeper in my hospital room. You’d think it was nothing more than the sound of the air conditioner kicking on. My yells to him from across the room went un-noticed as well.

Not wanting to physically get up (for obvious reasons), and not knowing what else to do, I took the little hat off my newborn sons head and whipped it at my husbands face with deadly accuracy. Finally! Something that worked! He woke up long enough to share the loving words that he was tired and what did I want? Huh!? What!? “Ummm… I WANT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR SON WHILE I REST!!” Or something to that affect was screamed at him.

In the end, I called in the nurse, told her he wouldn’t stop crying and that I thought something “was wrong.” She snuck him away (I’d bet a million dollars gave him a bottle, even though I was nursing and wanted none of that), and brought him back to me sound asleep with a pacifier stuck in his mouth. She was an angel and I wouldn’t have cared if she gave him a bottle full of rum at that point in the game.

My point is, that even the BEST dads can get off to a rocky start. Those early days were really tough. I do think it’s different for moms. You’ve had all that time with your baby inside you, and mother nature helps you out in the beginning with some hormonal direction. Dads? They’re a little lost in the shuffle and just doing their best.

Now my husband and I can laugh about this story. At the time, I really wasn’t so sure what I’d gotten myself into. Parenthood has been a wild, unpredictable ride. One that really has no ending (like I once thought.) I’m thrilled however to be on it next to my man. Baby hat bruise and all!

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Right? Isn’t it summer now? Then why did I start my morning with running to the grocery store, Longs, bank… I thought summer was about sleeping in, hanging out with your friends, playing on the computer, going to the movies… What’s that you say? Only if you’re a kid! WHAT!?!! No one told me that! –DANG!-

Yes, man-cub is officially out of Junior High School (thank God!) and on summer break. This year was particularly tough (as only 9^th grade can be) and I’m just thrilled that we both survived.

Rather than just let him sit on his keester all summer however, I decided to take the time and use it as an opportunity to show him different careers and how people work. I have a friend at KVIE, who has kindly agreed to show us around next week. Man-cub yearns for the day when he can be a sound editor, mixer and this will be a great peek into how they do that for TV. I’m in the process of arranging other such “field trips” for him and am really excited about it.

Of course, we’ll also have “mommy school.” This is where I take the time to teach him all the important “life-skills” that they don’t cover in school. How to budget, read a cookbook, make a shopping list, budget for your food, cook a meal, work the washer and dryer, etc… I can tell you without hesitation that my son treasures the time we share together and couldn’t be more exited about learning to do his own laundry (HAahaha! Good one!)

Next week I start teaching my art classes through the Davis Park and Recreation department. Then there’s family parties, man-cubs trip to Wyoming with his grandparents (while dad and I go wine tasting), my husband’s 40^th birthday, swimming, trying not to gain weight, etc…

How about you? What are your plans for the summer?

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Last night was a 9^th grade event at man-cub’s school. In Davis, Jr High is 7^th-9^th grade and High School is 10^th-12^th. This means that he was “big man on campus” for a whole year. What a big campus it was too!

I ran into an old mom-friend I hadn’t seen in a while. She told me “It’s been a long time since I saw man-cub.” My immediate un-thinking reply was, “Me too! I lost him a few years ago to be replaced by a moody man I don’t know!” At the time, I assumed it was the stress of the evening and the fact that I really don’t enjoy those large school events. Upon reflection however, I think it was one of those rare moments where you just speak the truth; Out loud and proud. Where even your ears don’t recognize that you’re the one who just said what you said.

Truth is, I miss my son. I miss him terribly! He was my sweet little-guy, a mama’s boy from the day he was born. Of course I don’t want my son to regress into this little boy, and yes, I’m thrilled at the man he’s growing into… but he’s just that… a man. My little man-cub isn’t here anymore, and it really does feel like a loss. Like I just woke up one day and the baby I’d adored and nurtured was replaced by someone else. Someone tall, smart, self sufficient (some days), social, smelly and who doesn’t NEED me like little man-cub did.

I always said I’d be one of those parents who sang all the way home from dropping her kid off at college and who would re-configure his room the second he was out of the house (no living shrine here!) Now I’m not so sure. Of course I have my own life, and don’t chase my son around the house trying to wipe his nose for him, but I feel a sense of loss that surprises me. I miss who he WAS and I didn’t expect that to happen.

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When my son was an infant, I had visions of us being an active, typical family. I thought we’d take the baby for long walks on the Folsom bike trail, hike through the Autumn leaf covered nature trails in Apple Hill and Tahoe, ice skate together at the downtown ice rink in the winter… you get the idea. Typical family stuff. Fly kites, toss the ol’ pig skin around, etc. Apparently I wasn’t aware yet of who I’d chosen to spend my life with, what his hobbies and interests are, and that my son would grow up to be his “mini-me.”

Now everyone may say that my son looks just like me, but trust me… what’s upstairs is all daddy. Lately, their biggest “father-son” activity is to play World of Warcraft together. My son, navigating him through rough patches and keeping track of the “quest” and my husband… well… just dorking it up big time. This weekend I just couldn’t help myself and HAD to snap this picture of the two of them. Nerd and Nerd Jr. Surprisingly, I’m ok with it. Here’s why:

1) My son gets a lot of exercise walking all over town with his friends, eats healthy and if anything needs to put weight on, so I don’t worry about him sitting around a little relaxing with his dad.

2) I put a limit on how long they play
(yes, I kick my husband off just like he’s man-cub.)

3) You can learn a lot from WOW (that’s World of Warcraft for you non-gamer moms.) How to make money and save up for things you want to buy. Prioritizing what you do first on each quest and what you buy. Working with your friends to accomplish a goal (some can’t be done alone). Problem solving, hand-eye coordination, map reading, etc… See! Not all bad!

4) I get ME time! Yup, I’m left 100% alone while they play together to do what I want, or need to get done.

I’ve learned through the years that your life may not turn out like you envision it, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t as good, or even better. You learn to appreciate what you have and be flexible to other people’s needs. It also makes me feel good to know how much they need me. Because without me, they’d obviously just play WOW all day and starve to death!

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I’ve been a “blogger” for about four years now. That’s hard to believe. It started as a way for me to keep track of craft projects I was working on and share them with the world. Actually, I created it for myself. If other people read it, great. If not, that’s fine too. I considered it an on-line creative journal. Creatress’s Creations was born. Then I heard of SacMomsClub. Being the kind of mom/woman that I am, I knew I would have endless tales, advice, ideas and information that I’d love to share with other local moms. I was also thrilled at the idea of helping to build an on-line community of like-minded women who could support and inspire each other. Teeter Totter was born.

This week I gave birth to a new blog. A happy, very healthy baby blog on blogspot.com. My focus for this one is health, food and weight loss. There you can see my thoughts on topics ranging from the Barefoot Contessa to sardines and watch me try to loose 100lbs. This newest blog is called 100 To Go.

I personally find blogging to be very cathartic. Sure, it’s time consuming, but so are most things in life worth doing. I am the kind of person who evolves best when brainstorming and trying new things. My blogs are how I stay sharp, grow, learn and express myself. Thank you to all the moms who take the time to not only read them, but to comment now and then. I value your time and hope you get something out of them in return!

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It's finally happened... we're killing our cable TV, and I couldn't be happier. After months of bending my husbands ear and promising he wouldn't miss football season at all, he actually agreed. Being home sick all this week however, I was beginning to wonder if I had made a mistake.

I was wondering that is until our latest Entertainment Weekly came in the mail. When I got to the Summer TV Preview section, I actually felt queasy (and not from being ill.) Splayed across two pages were shows that just a few years ago would have been a joke on Saturday Night Live.

Shows like "Dance Your **** Off" (where overweight contestants are paired up with professional dancers for a weekly dance off. Think Biggest Looser meeting Dancing With the Stars. -sigh-) or "Hammertime" (yes, THAT Hammer! In a sit-com... another -sigh-) Picture after picture of one beyond-bad show after the next made me want to rip the satellite dish right off our roof.

What has happened to TV? Not to sound like a crazy cat lady from Florida, but is this really the kind of culture we want for our families? Our choices now days appear to be NC-17 level shows, or programming that would insult my dog's intelligence. Well, my family is saying no!

If there's something I really want to see, I can see it on my computer. A movie I want to watch? Netflix. We're saying NO MORE to crappy programing, insulting shows and endless commercials. We're also going to be saving about $100 a month. That's what I call WIN-WIN!

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Unable to wait another day, I took my family to see the new Pixar movie “Up.” All three of us are Pixar fans and wouldn't dream of missing out on their newest film. It was worth the hour wait in line to get inside. It was worth the $20 popcorn and sticky floor. Yes, it was even worth the 3 year old who never shut up for one second. If you have any hesitations about seeing it, let me assure you… if my husband, 15year old “too cool for anything” son and I all three adored it, then I’d be shocked if you didn’t too.

Don’t worry, I won’t give anything away in the blog. I will however warn that there were many tears in the crowd and more than a few kids wanted to leave during some tense action scenes. They were all very little (around 3) and I really hope the parents didn’t cave and leave, but instead let the kids see that everything came out all right. When your child doesn’t get to see a resolution to something scary, or upsetting, it can actually be much more traumatic than the incident itself.

The move is rated PG and I felt that was appropriate. I was shocked to find it so moving, and will warn you that I was crying in the first 10minutes (so bring tissue!) The voice over talents and animation were what I’ve come to expect from Pixar over the years (perfect) and the plot was simple, yet engaging. This is one of those rare films that anyone, of any age will adore. Stay for the credits (as they are really cute), but there’s no surprise at the very end after the credit roll.

I can’t wait to hear what others think about it! Have you seen it? Did you love it? Like Coraline, I’ll be counting down the days till it’s out on DVD.