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I’ve never been a size 0, but really wasn’t “big” till after I stopped nursing my son. I was used to eating whatever I wanted and just burning it off while sitting on my butt! Suddenly, I wasn’t burning it off by watching I Love Lucy and eating Mac and Cheese and felt very confused by the whole matter. Fast forward 15 years and I’ve just gotten bigger and bigger.

Unlike a lot of big people, I know exactly why. I hate to exercise and love to eat. Those two are a terrible combination. Sure I could blame my almost non-existent thyroid, but I know 1 hour of exercise 1nce a week and the delicious port brownies in bed at 10:00 are the REAL culprit. So what to do about it? How much does it bother me? Is it REALLY a problem or does our culture just hate fat people? My answer to all of these is “yes.”

I watch shows like The Biggest Loser where the entire family is huge (including very little kids) and cringe. I know in my heart that if my son was at all overweight, I would have done something long ago. Truth is (as you can tell by the pictures) he’s borderline underweight and I have to beg and remind him to eat all the time. If I would lose weight with my son and address his needs immediately, why don’t I do it for myself? That’s the catch… the real mommy question. Everyone comes before you (especially your children.)

My husband has all the same food and exercise issues as I do. We are also both really competitive. I would love nothing more that to play that up to our advantage and work together to lose the weight. I’m sure it’s something I’ll bring up this weekend.

I don’t need to be FAT to be PHAT! Here are all the reasons (personally) why I want to get rid of some pounds:

-To comfortably fly and travel (I REFUSE to ever get so big that I need a belt extension on a plane!)

-To comfortably go on amusement park rides with my family.

-To be more comfortable in class.

-To not second guess chair strength at people’s homes.

-To not have my knees, back or hips hurt.

-To not have to buy something just because it fits, not because I love it.

-To live a long life with my family.

-To walk all day w/o my feet hurting.

-To be comfortable being naked with my man.

-To shop in the same department or store as my friends.

-To be a good example to my son and other larger family members (which is pretty much every woman in my family.)

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We all know how checking your e-mail can turn into an hour lost, dinner not made, late for an appointment, etc… The www, for me is the World Wide Waster, waster of time that is, and I love it!

As someone who has a very hard time just relaxing and taking 5, I find that my computer is a great tool to force me to do just that. I also know that I’m not alone. Of course it’s more than a fun waste of time. It’s a great tool, resource, way to keep in-touch with people and easy way to shop when you have kids! Keeping these things in mind, here are my top 10 ways to spend time on the web.

1) SacMomsClub - of course!

2) Facebook - love that place

3) Pet Society – A game on Facebook that I’m 100% addicted too (they also have a MySpace version if you haven’t made the switch yet.)

4) Overstock.com – One of my favorite websites to shop for jewelry.

5) Go Fug Yourself – My top site to get a good laugh at celebrity fashion. Masterfully written.

6) Etsy.com – A wonderful site to buy amazingly crafted hand-made items from artists all over the world (at great prices.)

7) Kodakgallery.com – Where I upload all my pictures and order prints. I’ve been using them for 5 years now and love it! No more e-mailing individual pictures to people, you can send them an invitation to view your whole on-line photo album. Best photo hosting site on-line (in my opinion.)

8) Webmd.com – A huge site chalked full of medical and health information. Very accurate, easy to navigate and useful.

9) Travelocity – Sign up for their newsletter and you’ll get some amazing offers e-mailed to you. We’ve booked a few vacations through them now and have always been happy with the value and service. It’s also fun to fantasize about all the places you can go someday when the kids are grown and gone.

10) Get Away Today – However, while the kids are still here, chances are you’ll be taking a trip to Disneyland at least once. We’ve used this site for great Disney, and San Diego packages about six times now. I’ve never been disappointed, and always saved money.

I could list many more, but these have to be my top 10, and where I visit most often. Feel free to share some of your favorites with me!

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This Spring I took a class on Cultural Diversity in the Classroom. What I took away from that class is respect for other people’s roots, and what that means to me.

When I hear the word “ROOTS” I immediately think of generations long ago. Of your parents, their parents and so on down the line. I discovered however that for me, my roots are actually my husband and son. They are everything good in my life and have helped shape me into who I am today. Not my parents, not my grandparents, but my family here and now.

I know many people who’d disagree with this statement, or who feel a very strong connection to their ancestors. I think that’s wonderful too. The important thing in life is finding your “roots” and knowing what keeps you safe, supports you and feeds your soul. For me, I don’t have to look very far.

When the stresses of life seem hard, or when I’m feeling pressured to my breaking point, I can count on my guys to keep me grounded. When I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle, or frustration is getting the better of me, the world melts away with a hug, kiss or smile. Without their love and support, I don’t know where I’d be in this world. All I know is that with them in my life, I have BOTH roots and wings and that I can do anything!

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I have a great tradition that I do every year. It started in the 3^rd grade. It had been a long, hard year with a particularly “not-the-best” teacher. I had made many good friends at this point, other moms whose sons were in the same class as my son. We all decided that we deserved something special for making it through the school year. One mom had us all over to her large house; we ate, drank wine, talked smack and had a blast. The mom-dition was born!

Every year on the first Saturday evening after the last day of school I gather together all my best girlfriends (most are moms, but not all) and we celebrate that we made it through one more year. One more year of nagging (oh, I mean… REMINDING!), of making and bagging meals, filling out forms, attending meetings, shopping for supplies, giving rides, thinking of everything… all of it is over now for a few precious months.

We gather together and drink great wine, nibble fattening foods, suck down chocolate and pat ourselves on the back. Here are my self-imposed guidelines for the ultimate mom-dition.

1)      No men

2)      No kids

3)      Lots of wine (or your drink of choice)

4)      Everyone brings something (less cost and time that way)

5)      Everyone dresses up, for themselves and each other

6)      Provide lots of water as well! Sparkling and flat.

7)      Should be held outside

8)      MUST have music (in case anyone feels like dancing)

9)      Has to have candles (or lanterns)

10)   No one is allowed to “hurry home to the family!”

In the past we’ve also done lotion hand-massages, henna art, tarot card, face painting and other little treats for ourselves. It’s mostly about just coming together and sharing our stories in one great evening.

How about you? Do you have any mom-ditions you would like to share?

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When your child hurts your feelings, there is nothing like it. No one can wound you faster, strike you harder or leave you more breathless than the one you gave birth to making you feel bad. Sadly, it’s also inevitable. I consider man-cub to be about the best kid in the universe (of course), however, this has personally happened to me more times that I care to admit.

During the teenage years a short temper, scathing tone and surging emotions are just par for the course, even from the best child. A mother just wouldn’t be human if she didn’t take some of the things said in passing; emotions flung her direction, or being the target of normal teenage frustrations to heart. Sometimes, there’s nothing to do but snap back, then cry, leaving your bewildered kid shell-shocked.

Funnily enough, both my husband and my son are so used to me being the “super woman” that anytime I crack, they’re both left speechless and with the sinking feeling that they went too far. For me to have an immediate emotional reaction to something they do, rather than swoop in, save the day, fix the problem, or hash it out with them rationally and reasonably, means it's big time bad. Actually, that’s rarely what it means, it usually just means I’m full…done…cracked… mom’s business hours are closed for the day… Thank you and come again. It rarely has anything at all to due with the seriousness of situation, and is more likely just an over-due reaction from me sucking it up all the time and pushing ahead. We all just need a good cry once in a while.

When my man cub sees me cry, he’s always had an immediate and strong reaction. Often as a young boy-cub, he would cry too. Much more than me actually. I’d become so distracted by him being so upset that I’d quickly put my “super mom” cape back on and make him feel better (forgetting all about my own hurt.) Now days he doesn’t cry, but knows something he said, or did just pushed me over the edge. Instead he scrambles to figure it out and make it right (just like any good man should!) He apologizes profusely and sincerely, tries to fix whatever it was that caused it and is generally on his top-notch behavior for at least a few days. I must confess that I love those “honeymoon” phases.

Of course blogging and sharing with my other mom-friends also makes me feel better. As does the chocolate biscotti my son just brought me. Curse him for knowing me so well!!!

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Those two little words can strike fear into any partner. “We need to talk.” Or “I need to talk to you.” Or even “Let’s talk.” For some strange reason, people in a relationship cringe when they hear those words. Why? What’s wrong with talking? When did communicating that you want to set aside time to discuss something with your partner become the same as slapping them?

We all need time to talk. We all have times when it is important to sit down, face-to-face and discuss things. It could be vacation plans, the budget, your future goals in life, having a baby (or another one), or just communicating.

Most men AND women I know do not want to have “the” talk. By “the” talk, I mean any conversation in which you need to stress how important it is to sit down and talk. Men get quiet (and busy) and women procrastinate like mad. Sadly, most of us have “the” talk when we’re angry, hurt, or at whits end, not before things snowball and it’s actually a good time to be logical, reasonable and open-minded.

My husband and I have had hundreds of these talks during our 17 years together. I’ve noticed that the longer we practice, the more we actually sit down and communicate, the easier it gets. If something was said that I don’t agree with, I really try and address it then and there. What you NEVER want to do is talk yourself down about it. “He didn’t really mean it. It’s no big deal. It will go away…” All bad things to say to yourself. You need to listen to your emotions AND your physical responses. Were your feelings hurt? Were you angry? Sad? It doesn’t matter if logically you think that’s not the right reaction, you had the reaction you had for a reason and you need to talk about it.

Here’s my quick tips for having a good “talk” with your partner. I hope you get some resolution and clear air this weekend!

1) Don’t “talk” in your bedroom. I don’t care how small your house is. Go for a walk, or to the park, or in your yard if you have to. Keep the bedroom for safety, relaxation and romance.

2) Do let the other person know ahead of time that you want to talk and find out when is a good time for them. Ideally it’s as soon as possible, but this is a considerate move that should help show that it’s no emotionally draining big deal. Just open communication. I like to "invite" my husband to join me in a glass of wine, tea or something soothing to open up the lines of communication.

3) Try not to get defensive if you partner gives you their point of view. You can say things like, “Thank you for sharing that with me, I didn’t realize that’s how you felt.” Or “I know telling me these things aren’t easy, thank you!” It’s important to encourage the communication process in your partner by letting them know you’re hearing what’s being said.

4) Think about what you want to talk about, or say before you sit down together. Good words to start with are, “I feel.” For example… “I feel really overwhelmed lately. I know you work full time, but my job with the baby is also very demanding. I can’t take care of the baby and the house. I need you to help me some more. It would be great if you could help me by (insert suggestions here.)”

5) Follow up. What will usually happen is you’ll both feel on cloud 9, wonder why you didn’t talk things out sooner and everyone will be on their best behavior, then go right back to their old ways. Stave this off by checking in. I like to have a “follow up” talk 1 week later. “I’ve been feeling so less stressed this week! I really appreciate you helping me out around the house more. It was especially helpful that you took over all the dishes.” You get the idea. They know you noticed, they hear how it helped AND get positive feedback for helping. That’s what we call “win-win!”

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I know many moms who just aren’t friends with tech. They’ve never heard of a TiVo, shun the internet, don’t know Facebook from a Tweet. I feel for them. Just the fact that you’re here, reading this means you aren’t part of that group.

I am a “Waldorf” child at heart. I like nature (as long as it doesn’t bite, sting, or crawl on me) and love spending time doing art, writing in a REAL journal with a pen, squishing clay in my hands and just living in the moment. I also however, value my tech. I realize what a huge part of the world it is, not just my world, but my son’s world. I can e-mail teachers, check his grades on-line, Google any questions I’m having about IEP laws, even take classes myself to further my own knowledge. Tech is very important to me.

Yesterday I was checking out the Kindle on Amazon.com to see if you can purchase and upload college text books yet. It turns out that you can, but they cost only a few dollars less than the paper version (and there’s no selling them back.) I’m always thinking ahead for when my tech-loving son goes to college. This quest led me to check out the eReader by Sony. You may have seen them around your local Borders, or other book stores. It turns out that you don’t need an eReader (Sony’s version of the Kindle) to download and use eBook. Like iTunes for books, it’s a free site where you can get many books for free, or pay a small fee for the more popular ones (like iTunes.) I was pretty impressed and had never heard of the site.

I downloaded the software onto my laptop and now have books ready to read! The technology for the eBook is still pretty new, and the eReader, like the Kindle is still pricy. I do however have family who adore their Kindle. They also travel and read a lot, so I can see the value when you can pack every book you own onto something the size and weight of a clip board. For now, I’m happy just knowing I can whip out Pride and Prejudice anytime, anywhere I have my laptop with me. Best yet, no one will know what I’m reading!

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Seriously!!! I cannot wait for this school year to be over. While I’m busting my hump (and maintaining my 4.0GPA) my son is flailing. I honestly forgot how horrible 9^th grade is. The hormones, social pressure, physical growng pains, academic pressures, it’s a lot to ask of a 14-15year old. My own 9^th grade experience was horrid, so I’m a very sympathetic party.

As mentally “checked out” as my son is, his teachers are mostly right there with him. These last few weeks have been nothing but e-mails and emergency meetings over issues ranging from a miscommunication to down-right inappropriate scenarios. All while I’m in the middle of finals myself.
–sigh-

Luckily SacMomsClub was to the rescue! Last Friday when I came home from a particularly grueling meeting regarding the school and my son, I had a lovely surprise in my in-box. I found out that I had won one of the Mother’s Day Dream Day Spa packages! This is actually the first contest I have ever won here (I know! Gasp!) and I couldn’t have chosen a better prize, nor a better time to win it!

My last final is next Tuesday and I’m driving up to the Folsom Dream Day Spa next Friday. I’m looking forward to having all the stress and worries from 9^th grade exfoliated away. Now if I can just do something about my eyebrows turning grey!?

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(WARNING: If you haven’t seen the new Star Trek movie yet, and don’t want to know ANYTHING about it, skip this post.)

Mother’s Day always seems to zoom by at the speed of light. I thought it was fitting then that my family and I enjoy the latest Star Trek movie that I’ve heard and read so many rave reviews about.

I grew up watching the original Star Trek in re-runs (mostly during the summers spent at my grandmother’s house.) I also had loved watching The Next Generation (or TNG as “Trekkies” call it) while home-bound with my newborn stuck to my chest. Some days it was the crew of the Enterprise (and sexy Patrick Stewart) who got me through the day of being a new mother.

As Entertainment Weekly after Entertainment Weekly arrived at our home recently I began to have growing doubts about the new movie. “Spock” looked over-waxed and over shiny like he had just come from the salon and was ready for a night at the gay disco. Kirk looked TOO pretty (in my humble opinion.) I was missing Warf’s bumpy head and Picard’s furrowed, disapproving brow already.

After reading so many critics sing its praises however, I was excited to see the new movie. I am a big fan of Lost (the creator of Lost was also the director for this movie) and decided I could overlook the over-sheen all the actors seemed to have.

It was… ok. Not great, not a waste of time. I’m glad I saw it, but I have many issues with it…

1)      Spock and Uhura NEVER dated. To see them make out was like watching a brother and sister kiss, just wrong!

2)      Whoever casted Wynona Rider as Spock’s mother should have to go to a special circle of hell. She looked bad and acted worse. Here’s an idea… why not hire a REAL older actress rather than artificially age a has-been actress.

3)      I hated the way it was filmed. It was like someone was on the bridge of the Enterprise holding their camcorder the whole time. There was a lot of glare from the lights (that I’m guessing was intentional, but I found to be really distracting.) I thought at first it was camera issues at the theater, I was that surprised they would intentionally make it look like that. The fight scenes were also really jumpy and hard to follow (visually.)

4)      Uhura was terribly cast and acted. She didn’t look, sound, or act, anything like Uhura.

5)      ENOUGH with the time-travel already! REALLY! How many episodes/movies (especially Star Trek) have featured time travel? Too many!

6)      Stupid little creatures. Did they not learn from Star Wars (jar jar)? You don’t need silly little creatures in these movies, even if they are only there for a small part of the film. Kirk getting it on + small stupid creatures = a mixed up audience.

7)      “Old Spock.” They didn’t need to bring Leonard Nemoy into the movie at all. It was strange and self-serving. I’m also hoping they aged him intentionally, otherwise I think he really is a 185 year old Vulcan.

Now, the pro’s:

1)      My popcorn was great!

2)      We got really good seats

3)      (seriously now) The musical score was very well done.

4)      The special effects were excellent

5)      The opening kicked-butt BIG TIME. I was crying before the opening credits.

6)      The villain was great.

7)      It didn’t feel “too short” or “too long.”

8)      The ending didn’t suck.

9)      When my husband told me after the movie that he saw it as “Another dimension and parallel reality version of Star Trek” it make me like it more, and be a little less disturbed by Spock and Uhura making out.

10)   It was fun and relaxing. Not over-violent. Not disturbing. Just enjoyable and a fun way to spend a few hours.

I hope your Mother’s Day was wonderful and your gifts kept coming like Tribbles. Live long and prosper!

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But don’t want to. Did you ever notice that when you become a mother your brain gets clogged with all kinds of information and statistics that you REALLY wish you just didn’t know? Well, here are a few of my favorites. Enjoy!

~It takes $3.00 in quarters at the car wash to clean your car after your kid gets car sick.

~It takes 5 fresh-from-the-garden tomatoes to make a 5 year old car sick (but it will look like 100.)

~It takes 2 weeks and 3 cans of “Auto Fabreeze” for the smell to go away.

~Koji Kondo is the composer of all Legend of Zelda video game music.

~You can watch the same movie 23 times before you want to run it over with your car.

~A 7 year old can live on peanut butter sandwiches for 1 month (before they will eat something new.)

~1 glass of Cranberry cocktail juice has more sugar than a can of coke.

~It takes 38 baby wipes to clean up a case of explosive diarrhea in a 6month old.

~The Final Fantasy 7 video game Soundtrack is 7 hours long (or maybe it just feels that long?)

~You CAN get sick from cleaning up other people’s sick.

~You can make it 41hours straight w/o thinking of your own needs once (including bathroom trips.)

~Disneyland is fun for a 3year old for 38minutes.

~The swimming pool at your hotel is fun for a 3year old for 6 hours.

~Tickets to Video Games Music Live are $85 per person.

~The average toddler easily can go through 1 box of tissue a day. The average male teen goes through 2 boxes a day.

~Two teenage boys are louder than my neighbor playing drums in his garage.

~The fastest way to intentionally annoy an autistic teenager is to get a statistic wrong.

~A toddler is faster than Michael Phelps in a kiddy pool.

~It takes 3 seconds before you panic when you think you lost your child.

~You will spend $1,387.12 on being a “snack mom” for the class during your kid’s school career.

~Planter beds are in front of shops that won’t let toddlers “go potty” for a reason.

~It takes 1 bite for your kid to hate what took you 1 hour to make.

~Anusol ointment works better than the cream.

~Your un-born child hears every word you say, your teenager doesn’t hear a thing.

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Teachers have my up most respect. I know many excellent teachers, and my son has had more good teachers than not. Nothing however can get me riled up faster than a bad teacher. There are many kinds of bad teachers… the “Sergeant” (one who just barks orders at the kids), the “Checked-Out” teacher (who’s already mentally retired and hates coming to work), the “Selfish” teacher (who’s only there to feel good about her/himself, flex power and fill his/her own needs), and the “Rod” (knows best about everything and is totally un-flexible.)

My son is currently dealing with a “Rod” style teacher. At the beginning of the year I thought it would be good for him to have to learn to deal with this kind of person. After all, you’re going to have more like them in your life (a boss, professor, etc…) and knowing how to work with them is an important skill. At this point in the school year however, I’m ready for her to be pink-slipped. For real! She has less than no clue on how to work with kids who have an IEP (I don’t even think she knows what it is) and gives wonderful feedback to my son on his work (can you feel the sarcasm?) I found one the other day with “boring” written on it in black pen. Did I mention the assignment was taking photographs? I don’t exactly have an un-trained eye myself and felt his were amazingly beautiful. In fact, I cut them out and kept them.

I know the year is almost over and I keep chanting that to myself. However, the mother-bear in me won’t let it go. The woman is giving my son a “D” without so much as an e-mail to me about it. I’m on the verge of calling a school meeting and demanding justice for my "man-cub."

I tell you, there is nothing worse than a bad teacher!

If/when you come across one in your child’s school, do whatever you can to have them moved. This is a lesson you’d think I would know by now.