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No… not my hair. NEVER! Our health/beauty products. The article recently published here about linking autism and triclosan, really made me take a second look at the products we use every day. It turns out that my son was fine, not using any products that contain triclosan (or a form of it), but my husband and I were. I noticed something else though… all the other chemicals in what we ALL use. For what? How long till one of these is discovered to cause Cancer, or birth defects, or Autism?

 

I went on another “Spring Cleaning.” This time around our bathroom. It would be too expensive to replace everything all at once, so I started with the basics.

 

-Toothpaste. Tom's of Maine is carried at Longs Drugs. I found that they actually have a small travel size of each flavor. I bought one of each rather than 1 big one guessing what we will all like. When we all agree on a favorite, I’ll get the big one. Comes in paste AND gel.

 

-Mouth Wash. I did the same as with the toothpaste. Two small Tom's of Maine flavors. My son brushes good, but not really his gums, so this is a must have.

 

-Deodorant. If it can stand up to my kid, it can take anything. Again, I got a small trial size. No need to waste money!

 

-Hand Soap. This was the one that surprised me most on the triclosan list. I would never have thought of germ fighting hand soap as a danger! Went all natural with a hint of lavender. I’m feeling calmer all ready. Ahhhhhhh.

 

-Body Soap. Switched my little Man-Cub from Irish Spring (smells great, but is loaded with chemicals) to an all natural lavender body bar.

 

It really didn’t cost much at all to up-grade. I will be paying quite a bit more for the hand soap vs. foaming Dial, but it’s worth it to me. So far, it also takes a very little amount to do the job well, so it may turn out the same, or similar price in the end.

 

The older I get, the more I think about things like “going green” and how I can help my family and the planet we all share. I’ll continue to make minor changes and upgrades in our products, but already feel a little better for the few I just did. I don’t think I can ever give up the hair dye though!!!!

I've been a little MIA this week. Sorry about that. My grandparents are down from Oregon and my son and I have been spending the whole week at my aunt’s house with them. We've been putting in some quality shopping, cleaning and cooking. Today is our yearly family get-together and we're leaving for that really soon.

We'll be back home tomorrow and I promise a juicy blog then. You're all in my minds! Not blogging this week has been pretty painful actually. Does that make me a narcissist?

In the meantime... here are a few highlights of my week...

Telling my teenage son if he doesn't come down off the video games to spend "quality" family time I'd take him back home.

My grandmother was telling us a story about how much TV my grandpa watches at home. She said "He sits in his chair with that thing (remote) in his hand so much that I finally told him... ONE DAY... THAT THING IS JUST GOING TO GO OFF ALL OVER YOUR LAP!" Before I knew what I was doing I blurted out... "That's what she said." I blame the TV show The Office. My aunt and son laughed so hard they cried. Nana was just really confused and didn't get it (thank God!)

Got a cool wine decanter for $7.99 at Marshals (love bargain hunting) and a great shoes for $9 (that I'm wearing to the party today).

Made chicken BBQ kabobs for the whole family and they actually loved them! YAY! (My grandparents can be really picky eaters.)

Tried to watch the movie Cloverfield. My son saw it and loved it, so I bought it for him for us all to watch together. 15 Minutes into it and my aunt has a migraine and I'm actually so motion sick... I threw up. The whole movie is filmed on a video camera with people running and being chased. To say its jerky is the understatement of the year. Add onto that my Aunt's massive plasma TV and well... dinner didn't stay down. First time that's ever happened to me. We turned it off and watched the Lost Boys instead.

I hope you're all having a great week. I'll try and catch up with the site tomorrow!
Signing off for now.. ~Creatress

Now don’t hate me because I got to go wine tasting this weekend, or because I went in a limo, or because it was free. Hate me for the amazing dinner, dancing and Karaoke that went on the night before!

 

I had a wonderful weekend with all my in-laws to celebrate my sister-in-law turning 40. We had a beautiful dinner in Placerville complete with open bar, wine named after her, an amazing DJ and yes, Karaoke. My sister-in-law is SUCH a good singer in fact that it liberates the rest of us to totally suck. Since we know there’s no WAY we’ll ever even compare, we just croak and gyrate our hearts out. It was such a fun evening.

 

The next day she rented two large limos to take us all wine tasting through Amador County. It was my first time wine tasting at a winery and my second time ever in a limo. Luckily for me my husband knows how easily I get car sick and I was the only one to take Dramamine. Something the rest of the group was greatly regretting (especially after the open bar the night before). No one got sick, but it was close.

 

Where was our son the whole time you may be thinking? Why playing mini-golf with grandpa! He’s not a drinker and they had some amazing 1:1 time at Monster Golf in Folsom. They then went out to a great lunch and had wonderful conversation together. After that Papa even took him out driving in an empty parking lot! Can you get more “summer day with Papa” than that!?!? It was his first time and Papa said he did great. My son won at mini golf.

 

It was a fun-filled, packed to the brim weekend… I was wishing all the moms from the site were with me in the limo though. Enjoy some of the pictures!

Without me:
~The dogs would never get fed. Ok, maybe once a week.
~The toilet paper would never get replaced.
~There would be no cleaning items in the house. Once what was there got used up, there would be no more “magical” replacements.
~My boys would have major health issues for eating “whatever” they found around or could buy in bulk at CostCo. Game Stop doesn’t sell food, so they’d be in trouble.
~The dogs would never get bathed, to the vet, or their nails trimmed.
~My son would never get bathed, to the dr, or his nails trimmed.
~Our yard would look like a jungle.
~My boys would still not have a home e-mail account.
~No one would ever get any kind of card, or photo of the family.
~Our walls would be white and empty.
~No one would find anything… EVER!
~The boys would be hours late… if they remembered what they were going to go to at all.
~We’d over-pay for insurance, repairs, phone and electric.
~Everyone’s underwear would just be an elastic band.

Without My Husband:
~I wouldn’t have a house, clothes or food, but my cardboard box would be tidy!
~I wouldn’t be able to shop for anything… ever. Including the toilet paper I replace and the cleaning products I stock up on.
~I could never reach that one itchy spot in the middle of my back.
~I would have to make my own cup of coffee every day.
~I would be very lonely as I ate my Top Ramen for dinner (cause that’s all I could afford to eat).
~I would never finish a sentence because I’d forget the name of something and no one would be there to know what I was talking about and come up with it for me (he jumps in and saves the day all the time like that!)
~My son would hate me (cause I’m not the fun one).
~There’d be no one to kill the scary bugs for me or hold my hand during a spooky movie.
~I wouldn’t have a car, let alone a nice car.
~I would have to work a full time job like everyone else and have no time for art, or blogging!

Without My Son:
~We would blow all our money on travel, good wine, clothes, cars… oh wait! That’s not so bad!
~We would have more dogs and a bigger house.
~We would both work full time and I’d resent my husband for it.
~We would fight a lot.
~We would forget what it’s like to be young and fresh and see the world with new eyes.
~We would forget how to be silly with each other.
~We wouldn’t be nearly as bonded as we are.
~We would feel just a little empty.
~We’d be much more shallow and materialistic.
~I wouldn’t know anything about Lord of the Rings or Star Wars or the difference between an Xbox and a Wii. Nor would I care!
~I wouldn’t be as strong as I am today.
~I wouldn’t be a fighting mother bear.
~I wouldn’t be me.

I thank the universe every day for my family. Without each other, we would be so much less. That’s what a good family, a good relationship should do… make you MORE than you would be on your own. To teach each other important lessons in life. Children make wonderful teachers, but if you open up, so does your partner!

Ok, I don't usually do two blogs back to back... this one is short.

I was talking about wanting a change with my hair on theTALK boards (which now vanished. I'm thinking because it was under Sex and the City?), and just wanted to show the before and after pics.

My son said "I was wrong, it looks good... you look SASSY!"
My husband said "You look ready for wine tasting (we're going this weekend)" Get it? Cause my hair is dark red? HAhah.

The dye stained my head like I soaked it in a vat of berries overnight, but overall, I'm pleased. I just wish it always looked like it does on the box!!!

Before (sans any makeup. I'm BRAVE!) When my son took it for me he said "Well, I guess that's as good a picture as it's going to get!"

After (w/ makeup)

When my favorite song comes on the radio.

 

When the confirmation letters you have to type in on various sites and blogs actually spell a word.

 

When someone driving like a jerk passes you and later down the road you see them pulled over getting a ticket.

 

When you get a great parking spot.

 

When you hit a big sale and total things up in your head and they turned out to be even cheaper than the sign said.

 

When I throw something away from across the room and it makes it in the can.

 

When I take something into the dressing room convinced it’s too small and it fits.

 

When you hit a long row of all green traffic lights.

 

When the moon is full and I’m alone in my car with the moon roof open.

 

When my plants don’t die right away (curse my brown thumb!)

 

When I think I’m out of something and I find more.

 

When my son makes it one whole day without rolling his eyes or sighing at me.

 

Puppy kisses.

 

Floating in a swimming pool.

 

A hot, delicious coffee.

 

When Jaws is on TV.

 

When I beat my husband at a game.

 

The smell of an art supply store.

 

The sound of the air conditioner.

 

The touch of a super soft blanket.

 

 

Are you Clair Huxtable? The work-a-holic, yet magically always there for your children mom? Are you June Cleaver? Always making everyone’s life easier with that little “I know everything going on” smile? Are you maybe even Morticia Addams? Enthralled and in-love with your husband while your children are off enjoying their hobbies? (hopefully not dynamite and axes.)

 

Me? I actually always had a soft spot for two famous TV moms. Lucy (from I Love Lucy of course!) and Samantha from Betwitched.

Lucy was just so funny, and mean in a cool way. Plus, once she had the baby, you rarely ever saw him. Mrs. Trumble would come by at a moments notice to watch him for as long as Lucy wanted while her and Ricky went to the night club with their best friends. Her house always looked great and her life was full of adventure, even if she didn’t leave her apartment. Sounds like a good way to live to me! PLUS she was married to Ricky… need I say more?

 

Samantha was just too cool for her own witchy boots. She suffered from horrid self esteem and loved her man SO MUCH that she tried to deny who she was. Wow, that rings a bell for a lot of mothers I know. In the end, she would save the day, or pull off something amazing that would restore her confidence and Darrin would be grateful, even if it did mean witchcraft. She was a kick-butt mom to their two kids and never did mean things to her stupid neighbors, even though she could with the twitch of her perfect nose. She just always looked so beautiful and her house was the essence of kitschy retro cool! I adore that show, and Samantha Stevens. Her husband however was a dweeb and didn't deserve her (I agree with Andora there!)

 

Growing up being surrounded by women like these actually helped me become the mother I am today. Isn’t it strange how fictional characters can do that for you? My summers were filled with a lot of old re-runs at my grandparent’s house. We were always busy with new adventures and activities, but I loved getting to lie around and watch these golden daytime TV gems. Now it’s fun to do the same with my son, who has adored I Love Lucy for years now.

 

How about you? What TV mom did (or do) you love? Who do you think you’re most like?

 

I had an interesting phone conversation last night with the vice principal at my son’s school. He’s had issues this year with some girls who he’s “friends” with not being so great to him and causing him problems, if not physical pain. Yes, my son has been “bullied” by girls (words I have a hard time saying out loud). Worse is that these girls are his “friends.”

 

When I think of a “bad friend” I think of a kid who does drugs or drink, hates their parents (and authority), does terrible in school and just is an all-around thug. I don’t think of my son’s real friends as “bad”. At least not until that conversation with the vice principal.

She pointed out to me that his choice in company wasn’t the best this year. It’s not that he got in trouble, it’s that they made his life more difficult and caused “drama.” No drugs, sex, booze or other obvious issues. But is that a good thing? I used to think so, now I’m not sure.

 

There’s one girl in particular, we’ll call her “Nancy.” Nancy had a huge crush on my son the whole year. She was very persistent and they had 4 out of 7 classes together. During a dry girl spell, my son caved, and they started peck kissing and holding hands. They never saw each other outside of school, but she seemed ok with this. My son’s guy friends weren’t exactly supportive of his choice in a girl and let him know. He and Nancy didn’t last long (obviously it was doomed from the start) and she didn’t take it well. She let him know this by stalking him, harassing him, stealing from him, and finally choking him and putting him in a head lock (yes, she is bigger than him.) It took me going down to the school and forcing the issue before he got more than a giggle from the staff. I’m not sure why! If he had been a girl and this was an x-boyfriend doing these things, they would have been expelled the second it turned physical. So why is it just “funny” when it happens the other way around?

 

I was told by the vice principal on the phone that my son sends “mixed messages” to these girls he’s friends with and that “they don’t know how to respond to that.” WHAT?! I’m not even really sure what she means by that, but I am sure that he’s not “ASKING” to be harassed, teased and assaulted by them.

I want to yell “DID YOU EVEN SEE IN HIS FILE THAT HE HAS ASPERGERS SYNDROME!?!?” I know she has, because we’ve known her for years. We’ve known her for years because she has an Autistic daughter my son’s age. So how she can know all that about him and still discuss these things with me like they’re his fault…

 

I replied by telling her, “Look, last year he had no friends… this year you’re saying he has the wrong friends! Maybe next year he’ll get it right. It looks like progress to me!” I also told my son to keep away from girls like that. “They aren’t your friends. Friends don’t do those things to each other. Don’t look at them, talk to them, have anything to do with them.”

I think what confuses him so much is just the word. If they tell him they’re his “friend”, he believes and trusts them. If then they’re mean or do something horrible, he goes to the office for help, and is told he’s sending them “mixed messages.” RRRRGGG!!

(Excuse my rant at this point)

 Can you tell I’m angry (by the length of my blog).
So what am I going to do about it?

1) Get my perspective back. Today is the last day of school and none of this really matters after today.

 

2) Help him more socially. The hard part of having such a high functioning “normal” special needs child is that even you can overlook when and where they need help. We’ll do some more role-playing and social skills work over the summer to better prepare him for next year.

 

3) Be more of an advocate. This is a hat I took off a lot this year thinking the school knew him well enough and he was old enough to advocate for himself a little more. I was wrong. Between the budget cuts, time crunch and amount of kids, they don’t have the time to listen to my son try and stutter his way through an explanation of why he needs help and what’s happening. They just either ignore him, don’t listen or rush him till they get the “jist” which is usually not the whole story. I will continue to be his voice, and if need be, his warrior.

 

4) Expect nothing from the school. I’m so tired of thinking that just because we have an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) that they all “know” him and what to expect, how to work with him ect… I will return to educating everyone in my path if need be, against their will if I have to. Why don't I just home school again?

 

I’m in full on Mama Bear mode today. Good thing I’m picking my son up in an hour and then going for a cold swim. Welcome to Junior High!

I was checking out some of the new site features (like blog counters) when I noticed something. Today is my nine month anniversary of being on SacMomsClub! What a better way to celebrate then by meeting up with some of the wonderful women from the site.

 

Hmoeckli planned a great coffee meet-up this morning at Java City. What a treat it was to get to see some of the amazing women I’ve met here again, and meet some new ones. I’m always surprised to see how similar the moms are in-person to their on-line persona! Fun, witty, vivacious and beautiful. We had a great time.

 

I’m distracted today by school ending tomorrow and some last-minute drama between my son, some girls, a sharpie and his yearbook that involved a call from the principal (don’t ask). So, I’ll leave you with some fun pictures of our coffee date.

 

Here’s to my nine months on SacMomsClub! Thanks for actually reading my blog and being such inspirational women.

 

Really, I mean it. You can’t do EVERYTHING! I know you THINK you can, you are a mom after all. I’m not saying there is anything you CAN’T do; I’m saying you need to prioritize.

 

A few times a year, I do a little “life” spring cleaning. Check in with myself, see how happy I am, where I’m at in life, what more do I want, what can I do to get there, what’s important to me, what do I enjoy and how can I restructure my life to get more of those things and inch closer to my personal goals.

 

For example, last week I was feeling very overwhelmed. I checked in with myself to learn that three things were causing this over abundance of grey hair inducing stress. Seriously!! I think I got five new grey eyebrow hairs in one week! I realized that these things weren’t very important; I wasn’t getting anything personally or financially out of them, so out they go! Easier said then done, but let me just say that after I cut my ties with them, I felt 110% better!

 

Just like cleaning your house, clearing out your closet, or upgrading something nice in your home, re-structuring your own personal priorities is a must. Sadly it’s also something that busy mom’s put on the back burner. Don’t! It’s so easy to slip into that habit, but I can tell you that there’s NEVER a good time to focus on yourself, so just squeeze it in anyway. Everyone around you will benefit in the end and you’ll be much saner and happier.

 

Here are some things I like to ask myself when I check in:

~How’s my relationships (partner, family friends)

~What would I like to spend more time, energy, money on

~What can I do less of

~Who can I say “no” to, to give me more time for things more important

~When was the last time I played with my son

~Is my family happy

~Am I happy

~What could make our family even better

~Am I getting enough help/support

~When was the last time my partner and I had some alone time together

~Am I happy in my career (or business, or hobby). What can I change with this? Improve on?

~Where would I like to be (professionally) in five years? What can I do now to help with that (keep your resume current? Volunteer to establish future contacts?)

You could even write down your own answers to these questions, and then check in with the list every so often. Then again, who has time to make a list for anything other than groceries?!

I used to think that you either liked wine and/or beer, or you didn’t. That was all there was to it. Beer tastes like beer and wine tastes like wine. As I’ve aged (like a fine wine I might ad), I’ve learned that isn’t the case. I used to say “red wine gives me a headache.” Turns out that was only the tannins in cheap wine. Not all red wine can give you a headache. See! I’m learning!

 

My husband and I used to very rarely drink wine, then this year that changed. I’m thinking it’s due to all the local events we’ve been fortunate enough to attend that turned us onto wine. Or it could have been BevMo’s buy one bottle, get another for a nickel sale that seemed to never end. Or was it Johnny Depp’s catchy Wino forever tattoo? Whatever the catalyst, we’ve both been enjoying a glass of wine now and then.

 

Most people know that an occasional glass of wine is good for you. But do you know what to order? How to taste it? What local wineries produce the best vintage? What grapes make good wine? If you haven’t a clue, but would like to learn, I suggest you check out the SacBee’s latest site SacWineRegion.com. No, I’m not blogging an ad for them. I found it last night and was super impressed! My favorite feature is the Wine 101 list with an actual sound bite telling you the correct pronunciation for each type of wine. How cool! I’ll never sound like a wine virgin at a restaurant again.

 

So, if you enjoy an occasional glass, or like Johnny Depp, are a full blown wino, give it a look-see. You’ll be entranced by the pronunciation sound-bites (I promise) and inspired by the flavors and what foods go best with what wines.

 

TO YOUR HEALTH!

My family is a bunch of kids. My husband is a kid who loves getting new toys above all else. My son may pretend to be a cool fourteen year old, but I know that like his daddy, he’s still a kid.

 

We cleaned out our garage this weekend and I brought all of his old Legos in the house and put them in the hall closet. It was my intent to have him help me sort and re-pack them all this summer (and if we happen to create Hobbiton while we’re at it, the better for us!) As soon as they made it back in the house however, my son was back in-love with them. He’s in dad’s game room right now re-creating something from Lord of the Rings. Not on his cell phone texting, not watching TV or playing video games, nope. He’s sprawled out playing Legos, I LOVE IT!

 

My husband’s Fathers Day gift also arrived last night. Like most women, I used to buy my husband clothes and useful gifts for holidays. He quickly let me know that it’s ok, he’d rather have toys. I think that’s common with guys, but I don’t blame him. I don’t want a toaster; I want jewelry or a Coach bag for a gift. My toys are just different.

 

This Fathers Day I wanted to do something really special for him. He’s always spoiling me and making me feel like a queen. He’s been wanting an Xbox ever since they came out. Considering we already have a Wii and PS2, I said no. For YEARS I said no way. I said that the only way I’d agree to one is if they got rid of one of the other systems. Well, I caved. I saw the way he’d linger in front of them at Costco and just wanted to get my boy a new toy.

 

I ordered him not an Xbox, not an Xbox 360, not an Xbox 360 Pro, but the best you can get. An Xbox 360 Elite. To me the difference is it’s black and not white (and a few hundred dollars more), but to my man it’s the best toy in town. All I can say is, I’m crazy about my boys, which is why I tolerate and indulge their toys. So skip the shirt and pants this Fathers Day and go for something extravagant that they’d adore! They’re worth it.

I have a habit that makes my husband crazy. All the women in my family have it and I’m not sure why. Perhaps we’re all perfectionists? Perhaps it’s a touch OCD? We all strive for perfection with our house. Which means, I am constantly re-arranging the furniture and pictures.

 

If you’ve been friends with me for a few years, you’ve seen it all. Our bedroom has (at this point) been located in every room in the house except for the kitchen and dining room. Yes, it has been in the living room before.

 

Having such a tiny house, I like to think outside the box when it comes to lay-out. Plus, as our son grows and our hobbies evolve and change, our house changes with them. Small children spend a lot of time with their friends playing with toys in their rooms. Teenagers spend a lot of time at the computer and video games. Hence when we first moved, our son had the biggest bedroom. Now he has the smallest.

 

Like a tool you no longer use, I find it useful to re-think our house. My husband however, couldn’t be more opposite. A surprising fact considering how frequently my in-laws (mostly my mother in law I think) rearrange their furniture. Not only does my husband not see the need, it actually drives him nuts.

 

What a great guy then to spend most of Sunday helping me lug furniture around our house! This was the day after walking a 5K with me at the SPCA 5K fundraiser, the Doggy Dash. One couch went out to the patio, the other left his game room for our living room. Coffee tables got rotated and mattresses got hauled around. It took some convincing on my part, but in the end he conceded and lent his muscles to the cause.

 

I must say that I have improved. A few years ago it wasn’t out of the norm for him to come home to find our bed in the living room. Knowing how much he hates this, I do try to talk out plans with him and get his opinion. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that he gets input (because I’m such a visual person, I can see it all and know it will look much better in the end), but I do talk it over with him.

 

I like to think that someday I’ll be “done” and the house will look “perfect.” But I know that’s a lie. In the meantime, my man was a good sport and we both worked some muscle in the process.

 

Anyone else have this compulsion? Or are you one of those people who just keep it where it lands?