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A few years back Las Vegas was attempting to re-vamp its image as a “sin city” destination to more of a Disneyland type vacation destination for families. Is that still the case? No, it’s not. Is Las Vegas a good place for families? The answer to that question is yes and no.

We had a wonderful time in Las Vegas with our teenage son. I cannot fathom however bringing anyone younger than 13 to Las Vegas for a family trip. Why? I’m glad you asked!

-It’s too smoky (in spite of state of the art air filtration and nice scents pumped into most hotels and casinos, it’s still pretty smoky)

-It’s LOUD! (I don’t mean a little noisy, I mean 24-7 LOUD!)

-It’s packed (TONS of people, no matter when you go)

-Adult entertainment (even if you keep to family friendly activities, you still pass MANY adult targeted things. From strip club cards littering the street like confetti, complete with pictures, to statues of giant mameries, it’s a place for mature teens or adults)

-The cost (take your kids to Disneyland, it’s cheaper! You can’t find a bottle of water for less that $3-$9 or a simple meal for 3 for less than $60)

That said, I’m glad we went and we had a great time. We stayed at the Mirage, which turned out to be good and bad. Good in that it’s a smaller hotel and easy to navigate. It wasn’t too smoky or crowded. The tropical pool was wonderful and relaxing. Bad in that they are currently undergoing a major renovation. No volcano and tons of construction noise. Our first morning there we were woken up to the sound of hammers at 7:00AM!! (Just what you want on your vacation.) They were great about it however. They moved us to the top floor, and credited us $50 for the early wake up. I would happily stay there again (once they finish the renovation).

Some of our trip highlights were, our Easter dinner at the restaurant Picassos at the Bellagio hotel. There’s a picture of us on our patio with the beautiful fountains dancing. It couldn’t have been lovelier. Seeing Spamalot at the Wynn. We laughed till our cheeks hurt. A MUST DO for any Monty Python fan, and what drew us to Las Vegas in the first place, we weren’t disappointed. The pool at the Mirage, the best pool in town (even with the $17 Pina Colada). The shopping there is divine (and I’m not a big shopper). Just getting to see things in-person you never would see anywhere else is so fun! Jimmy Chu shoes, Harry Winston jewelry, Prada bags… I could go on, but my wallet hurts just thinking about it.

Ok, back from shopping land (my cheeks flush just thinking of it all!). We definitely walked too much. I don’t know what we were thinking. My feet were fat and puffy every night from all the walking. It was nuts (but we did save money on cabs). Rule #1 in Vegas, it’s always MUCH MUCH MUCH farther than it looks.

I was disappointed to not find any showgirls, or people dressed in costumes welcoming guests anymore. Instead the strip is trying to appeal to the young college crowd. I’m not really sure why, as this group doesn’t seem to have much money. My favorite spots were places like Paris, The Wynn, Bellagio and the Venetian who still seem to realize that. Skip places like TI (as they are now called, or Treasure Island as you may remember them), Harrahs, Hard Rock, Planet Hollywood and MGM. Some we didn’t even get to, or want to get to (like Hooters Hotel. No joke… they have a hotel!) Ceasers was my son’s favorite (I think because of all the booby statues), the Wynn was ours (because of the lack of booby statues).

I pitied the families with young kids in tow that I saw vacationing there. I’m really not sure what they did, or how they made it work. My husband thought they either dumped them in the arcade with a day pass there, or had the older ones watch the younger ones up in the room while the adults gambled.

After four days and three nights, it felt great to come home. I was done with the noise, bright lights and action. And no, we didn’t win anything, but I’m ok with that. I’m feeling relaxed and appreciating my smoke-free house and quiet town.

I can't begin to tell you how happy I am to be off my feet, back home and hearing some quiet. Four days in Vegas is a lot! I'll give everyone the update and some pics tomorrow, promise. It was a great trip. I missed everyone here though.

Glad to be home!

My family and I are off to Vegas (tomorrow morning) and will be back late Wednesday night. I'll give you all some highlight pics and a full report on the appropriateness of taking your teen to Vegas for a family vacation (gulp!).

Have a great Easter!
~CREATRESS

That’s what I call it when I decide my son no longer gets a say in how he looks. Forced Grooming. I know it sounds harsh, but there comes a time when Mama does indeed know what’s best.

My son’s hair was getting out of control. It’s not that I thought it was too long, or even that his bangs hung in his face all the time. It was that it was too long for him to keep clean and well groomed. Let’s face it, washing long hair is a pain! It takes time and scrubbing, neither of which my son is very aware of.

I spent the last few months attempting to plant the seeds of a haircut into his greasy head. I honestly did try hard not to force my will on his stringy hair, but the time had come. I finally told him “You aren’t wearing your hair, your hair is wearing you!” I reminded him that every time he’s changed his look, or his hair, it has been my idea (except for the black hair dye in October). It’s always the same. He moans about it, I force him in the end, he spends weeks getting compliments (and phone numbers from girls) and he loves it. (Then he has to sing the “You were right, I was wrong” song, but that’s another blog).

A few pictures off the web and an appointment later, he was off getting his hair whacked. I was thrilled. Luckily I took some “before” and “after” pictures (above).

It’s never easy (or right) to force your older child into anything, but sometimes Mom really does know best! He loves it.

As my son has gotten older, I’ve had a harder time figuring out what to put in his Easter basket. Well, this year was a snap! As you might know, we’re leaving for a vacation to Las Vegas early Easter morning. So I figured what better basket to make him than a trip basket!

His suitcase just busted while on his school trip, so I got the idea to put it all in a new suitcase rather than a basket. I found the PERFECT one at Ross (man I love that store!), that I think he will love. After Ross we hit the Vans outlet in Vacaville (the only shoes my son likes to wear since they look great and don’t tie). They were having a buy one, get one half off sale, so we got him two new pairs. We also hit Sees candy (I mean really, who doesn’t LOVE Sees!), and got him just a few treats there.  I plan on adding some magazines, gum and other things good for the plane trip (as short as it is).

Another tradition of ours is that we hide a bigger gift that he has to find by hunting plastic eggs with clues to its location. We plan on hiding the whole suitcase. There will be a last clue inside (just when he thinks he’s done), where he then has to find his new sterling silver Lord of the Rings ring (goooo EBAY!). This may sound a little over-the-top to some people, but having an only child, we’ve always gone a bit above and beyond the chocolate bunny (and I got it for a great price).

Easter was always a big deal for my family, and I also always got really great baskets (that usually had a theme to them). Some memorable ones for me were, gardening baskets, Phantom of the Opera basket, Marilyn Monroe basket (a’la 80’s) and the swimming basket. I guess that’s what happens when you have an only child.

Baskets for teens can be tough. I think we have it covered this year though!

Being the mother of a teenager is teaching me lessons daily. Lesson number one has been, keep your cool! This is something I’m not very good at. I don’t get “angry” (let me back-pedal before I sound like a horrible mother), but I get emotional. I never yell, but I do raise my voice and you can hear my stress in it. That’s it! I project my own stress at the situation to my teen. Not good.

If you’ve ever heard the famous Bob Marley Song, “Three Little Birds,” (Don’t worry, about a thing… cause every little thing… is gonna be all right!), then you know my husband. No matter what the situation, work, home, friends… he brings this element of calm. This feeling of “We can all work together to solve this problem!” I love it. When I am getting stressed about a “teen situation” he’ll swoop in and re-focus the two of us. Otherwise my son and I just spin off each other and stress each other out. Not how I pictured his teen years developing at all when he was young.

He’s ALWAYS been a Mama’s Boy. Since the day he was born. I had assumed as a budding young man that Daddy would get the brunt of the attitude. Sure, I’m around him more, but he’s a Mama’s Boy, right? Wrong. I was overlooking how oh so painfully similar our personalities are. We’re both very sensitive, we both don’t let go of negative things easily, we both don’t handle stress well, need I go on? Not sure how I missed that.

I try. Every day I try my best to be calm, there for him, insightful, helpful (but not over bearing). Parental (but not over authoritarian), respectful and offer him guidance. This is a tall order. It doesn’t always work. The worst situations are when he gets behind at school or doesn’t turn in his work (even though he did it). Now I know ALL kids do this once in a while, but it quickly becomes a pattern for our son. The red alarms go off and I need to keep my cool.

Now, onto my point. This weekend was a bad weekend. I had actually gotten a call from one of his teachers Friday letting me know he was missing some work and talking too much in class. Uh oh. We had JUST talked about these issues about a month ago!!! AGH! Hubby and I sat down with our darling boy and talked with him. The last time this had happened we had been very clear about certain things he needed to improve, and rules he had to follow, in order for us to treat him the way he wants to be treated (aka- like an adult!) This talk was his last chance. To bring it all home, I decided to make a “Family Contract.”

My goal with the family contract was for our son to have a constant visual reminder as to what we expect of him. A lot of times during these talks with parents, what is expected of them and discussed can be easily forgotten. With the family contract (on the wall of our dining room), he can re-read it any time he wants. It’s also something concrete we can go over if he violates any element of the contract.

I typed it up on the computer, and yes, we all signed it. After we signed it our son said something interesting. He alluded to the fact that what’s on his side is hard and what’s on our side is easy. I was very surprised by that! I’m glad he mentioned it however, because it allowed me to share that no! Actually everything on that list is very hard for me and takes a lot of intentional effort. It was great.

Here’s a copy of our contract, just in case you’re wanting to do something similar with your older children.

I (child’s name) swear to:

v   Not Lie

v   Turn in my homework on time

v   Keep my planner current

v   Keep my agreements (on where I am, what I’m doing, when to be home)

v   Do my best at school (and with focusing at school)

v   Help out at home (chores, family)

v   Not be defensive (be respectful)

v   Have open communication with mom & dad

We, mom & dad swear to:

v   Never yell (only use a calm voice when communicating with You)

v     Respect your independence (and give you space)

v   Pay your allowance every week

v   Respect your privacy

v     Have open communication with You

My Family and I have a special place in Sacramento that we've been going to for years. It's called the Effie Yeaw Nature Center.

The nature center is a unique place. They have a Nisenan Maidu (yes, I had to look that up!) summer village set up for you to explore, beautiful nature trails, deer, wild turkey, a Discovery center and are located right on the American River. We've spent many an Easter looking for eggs, having a pic nic on their lush lawns and just re-connecting with nature.

It's been years since I've been to the Effie Yeaw Nature Center. I'm dedicated to returning with my family soon to enjoy the lush beauty of spring. I'll take some picture for you all and post them here!

The Effie Yeaw Nature Center is located inside Ancil Hoffman County Park, 2850 San Lorenzo Way, off Tarshes Drive in Carmichael, Ca.

I just came inside, red faced and sweaty, to take a little break. I’ve been out shoveling mulch and working on my front yard for the last few hours, and DANG! Do I ever feel the burn!

Yesterday I biked over to our local public tennis courts and met up with three friends of a rousing game of doubles tennis. Yes, not only did I play tennis yesterday, but I RODE MY BIKE THERE!!! I know, I know… who is this woman?!

This morning I was pretty sore, so I figured some heavy yard work wouldn’t hurt and got to town. As I said in a previous blog, our poor yards are quite neglected. It is my dream to someday have an English garden (like the picture I found and envy), but for now I’ll settle with non-embarrassing.

All this sweating and burning made me think… Just when did it become decided that we need to go elsewhere to get our exercise. Worse than that, when did it become something we pay for? Everything I just mentioned was free (if you ignore the initial cost of the bike), and even fun! Playing tennis with my friends is as far from work as I can get. More like therapy in fact.

Who says you need to spend a lot of money to get a good workout. I’d rather do something energetic with my friends any day of the week!

Work is a touchy subject for a lot of people. I’ve never really understood why, as we all do it in some form or another.

When I became pregnant with my son, I was working full time for an advertising agency (the same one my husband worked at and in fact… was where we met). My pregnancy was a surprise (as does happen) and we considered our options carefully. The plan initially was that I would stay home for a few months, then return to work full-time while our baby went to daycare close to my job. Even at the time, I wasn’t 100% on-board with this plan, but felt my pregnancy was rocking the boat enough for the time being.

At about six months along however, the company we were both working for decided to close its doors. We were both suddenly out of work and collecting unemployment. Fortunately we’d managed to save some money and our health insurance would continue till after I had the baby. Oddly enough I was happy this happened. I just had a deep feeling that we would be alright. I trusted my man and savored the time we had together till he found another job.

About two in a half months later, he did. An even better job than the one he had before. This allowed us to come to the decision that I would stay home with the baby and not return to work full time till our child started school. I was so happy and relieved by this. I had been a day-care child my whole life and really wanted to be there for our baby 100% (at least till he/she was in school).

The months flew by, then the baby was here. I was young, and none of my friends were married with kids. We only had one car and my husband needed it for work. Staying home with a new baby all day, every day was harder work than I ever envisioned it would be.

When our son started preschool, things got better. I helped out in class and eventually become a board member at his school. After he was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, becoming his advocate was my full-time job. Finding the best therapies, school meetings, treatments… these duties filled my days. By the time he hit first grade however, I was ready for something else. Being a school volunteer and advocate doesn’t pay the bills and I was starting to feel like dead weight in the relationship (in spite of my husband’s protests to the contrary).

I had a few part time jobs, but nothing I really enjoyed. That feeling of needing to contribute financially to our family, in spite of my over-full schedule is something I still struggle with to this day. There is something so tangible to having a paycheck. To a simple answer when someone asks, “What do you do?” I felt like in spite of my carrying more than my weight at home, I needed to make money. Even to this day.

It has taken me a long time to figure out what makes me happy when it comes to working. The problem is that I spent a lot of time and energy trying to conform to a pre-set rule about how you are supposed to work. (Just as some of us struggle to fit into the “mom” mold.) Sadly, its taken a lot of years to realize that just as there is no one kind of parent, or formula of success for being a great mom, there’s no one way to work.

It’s finding what works for you, and your partner, and then hitting the ground running to get it that’s important. It’s supporting each others dreams and goals, no matter what they are. It’s realizing when things aren’t working right, and then actually doing something to change them. It’s not always fast, and definitely not easy, but like parenting, having a good job (or career, or activity), is worth the struggle to get there.

This morning was one of those rare mornings where the three of us were home together. My man hadn’t left for work yet and man-cub and I were getting ready for school. This morning was pretty typical. Me directing our 14 year old to everything he needed to do (as if it were for the first time). Feed the dogs, get dressed, make your lunch… As we head out the door a quick “GET YOUR BACKPACK!!!” Did I mention he’s 14?

When I got home my man was on his way out. He said “He was in rare form this morning!” It took me a minute to realize he meant our son. Even more surprising to me was that he thought this morning’s show was a rare performance. “He’s like this every morning” I educated my man.

But why? My son says “I just woke up! I’m tired!” I get that. However, even at his age I managed to function just fine without my mom following me around like Tinkerbell (or for those of you who have been as over-exposed to the Legend of Zelda as I have, Navi). “Hey! Look! Don’t Forget! Watch Out!” Just when am I supposed to stop doing this? When does that magical age hit where I just shut up, sit back, and drink my coffee?

There have been times where he’s pulled out all the stops in the morning. Days when I was so sick that all I could do was take him and he did the rest (on-time I might add). Remembering these times makes me think that maybe I’m the problem, not him. Maybe I just do too much for him and that’s why he does less?

What do you think? Am I suffering from over-mommy-it is? Do I need to step off and let my little bird fly a little more? It’s always such a balancing act, isn’t it?

Like any other kind of stone; kidney stone, gallstone, a milestone can be difficult. Overnight it seems I find myself living with two men rather than my little boy and my husband. I know I’ve talked a little about this realization before here, but this week we had a big milestone.

On Wednesday morning my 14 year old left his school at 5:30AM, along with 300+ other children on a bus trip to Los Angeles. The purpose of this trip is to take the children to the Museum of Tolerance. This year they are learning about the holocaust, slavery and other horrific events in history against humans. While on this three day trip, they are also going to the Getty Center (to enjoy the art), tour UCLA and see a men’s volleyball game there and to the Griffith Observatory. The adult to child ratio is excellent and they are staying in a nice hotel while there (did I mention how much I love Davis public schools?).

To say that my son has had issues with being away from home in the past would be the understatement of the year. The only other over night school trip he went on (in 6^th grade) was a disaster. He cried every night and was so horribly homesick that they wouldn’t even let him call home (go figure!) Even a simple sleepover at a friend’s house often ended in a phone call and me picking him up. Of course these memories came back in flashes as I prepared the two of us for this trip.

It would be noisy, the days are very long, there is a lot to see and do. There are huge groups of kids, plus a very emotional experience at the museum itself. My anxiety would come and go in waves. He did not want me to chaperone (thank goodness for that because I really didn’t want to go!) To make matters worse for him, none of his good friends were going on the trip. Some kids he knows, sure, but none of his close buddies.

Monday I was ok with it, all business and planning. Tuesday I was feeling a little anxious. By Tuesday night, images of on-campus gun men were racing through my mind and I was down-right terrified for my only boy to be so far from home without me. My husband helped calm my paranoia and bring me back down to earth. My son was excited and looking forward to the adventure.

Come Wednesday, I was back to being all-business (and putting on a brave face for my son). His chaperones were fully aware of my son’s special needs (thanks to huge e-mails sent to each of them well in advance by me. As well as two school meetings just on the topic of this trip.) Everyone would be looking out for him. He had his backpack, fidgets, new thick hoodie (so he could pull on his hood if he needed a break), drawing paper, it was going to all be fine (that was my mantra at least).

My wonderful man had also planned some fun evening events with our friends for both Wednesday night and Thursday night. The children couldn’t bring their cell phones, but parents could call their hotel rooms at night to check in. I promised I would check-in each night with our son.

The first night I was very eager to talk to him and see how everything was going. I was pleasantly surprised to hear how happy he sounded. “I LOVE LA!” He yelled into the phone. “The lights are so bright! The weather is great!” Ok, now I’m feeling a little jealous. After a few minutes, I passed him to dad to say goodnight. He misunderstood and hung up. Good thing I talked to him first!

Last night it was dad’s turn to talk first (just in case we had a repeat issue). He was even happier than the first night. He answered the phone hysterically laughing. He and his new friends were watching some show on TV (yes, they have a porn block on), and making up different words to go with it then what they were saying. “The museum wasn’t too upsetting”, he told us between giggles, and for the second night they got to eat all the pizza they wanted. Ohkayyyy, now I’m beginning to worry that he won’t want to come home!

The children come home tonight. I can’t wait to hear more details on the adventures he had… Without me. He didn’t need me. Nothing bad happened. He had a great time! I’m so relieved, thrilled and happy for him. So why do I feel a little empty?

My little baby is growing up... almost GROWN up. Other mothers tell you from the second you have your child, “Enjoy it! They grow so fast!” But when you’re “in the trenches” just making it day by day and doing your best, you honestly don’t realize how true it is. You wake up one day and your little child who needed you SOOO much, is now a man (or a woman). Wow.

Thank goodness I myself am very busy, happy, fulfilled. I genuinely enjoyed my freedom these few days. Seeing our friends in the evening was indeed a rare treat. Yesterday afternoon I hopped on my bike and saw Definitely Maybe, just because I could (it was great by the way).

Our lives are changing and it’s not a bad thing, just strange. I’m still adjusting.

Many lovely, talented women I know have a very green thumb. I picture leisurely weekends with them in their Crocks and floppy hats, happily spending hours tending their beautiful gardens. My mother-in-law is one of these green thumbed Goddesses. I am not.

In the teeter totter that is my life, yard work ALWAYS falls last. This is unfortunate as we have both a very large front yard and back yard. When we first bought out house, I immediately struggled to transform myself into one of these women I admire. I made myself a special little garden full of mint, chamomile and lavender. I even made my own tea from my lovely garden!

Fast forward two dogs (who will happily tromp through anything that attempts to grow from our yard), three jobs and one teen and I just don’t have the time. Sadly, gardening also falls last on my husbands to-do list.

As you can see by the picture, our backyard has become a jungle. I promised myself that I would dedicate today to gardening. I’m finding myself in need of hip-waders and a chainsaw rather than a lawnmower. I must pay the piper for my neglect.

I so wish I had a green thumb and enjoyed gardening. Instead I have a long to-do list and better go take my Claritin!

I’m beginning to realize that as difficult as it is to be in the middle of a teen world, it also has its advantages. For example, I have my life back! I know this sounds a little severe, but that’s how it feels. After devoting myself night and day to raising a special needs child, I now to get step back a little and enjoy the young man he’s becoming. He has his own friends, his own interests and activities. And guess what? They no longer include me! Although that takes some getting used to, I’m beginning to enjoy it.

My husband’s job requires him to attend many local events. The latest of which was the Authors on the Move “Food for Thought” fundraiser for the Sacramento Public Library Foundation (now say that 10 times fast!). During this event (yes, with ALL adults), I was once again reminded that interesting, hard working mothers are indeed everywhere.

During the event, three local authors took turns at each table where the guests were able to talk to them and ask about their lives and books. Our local authors were Kiyo Sato, Kathleen Low and Ann Martin Rolke.

Kiyo Sato was an amazing woman who spent forty years gathering information and inspiration for her book, Dandelion Through The Crack. It was published when she turned 80 years old. Kathleen Low, the author of Casanova Was A Librarian, was a dead ringer for my mother-in-law. Kind, funny and brilliant. The author who really struck a chord with me however was the local chef and author, Ann Martin Rolke.

Ann spoke to us about her recently published book, Hands Off Cooking. I also discovered that Ann and her husband are the proud parents of a four month old baby girl. We discussed Farmers Markets, having no time, adoption and other mom topics. Ann also told me that she recently found us here at SacMomsClub. You can find Ann at her popular local foodie website, www.sacatomato.com.

Fun moms are everywhere you look. I’m thankful that this site has introduced me to so many. I’m also looking forward to meeting more of you in-person in the near future.

And for those of you with small children, your time for a night life will come… I promise!

The pictures were taken of the event. The goodies you see were of some silent auction items at the event. The beautiful woman I'm standing with at the end is Ann Martin Rolke (after signing my copy of her book). The event was a big success and everyone had an intellectually stimulating good time.