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Well, with only two days left in January, I'm happy to share that I've lost 12lbs. It's not what the scale says that makes me proud though, it's the changes I've made (for good).

Here's a list of some accomplishments I've made this month (as they relate to my health goals).

-Eating much more vegetables daily
-Exercising 4-5 days a week (up from none to 1)
-Eating breakfast every morning
-Eating smaller "normal/suggested" size portions
-Eating a lot healthier foods (baked vege chips vs. lays. fat free creamer in my 1 cup of coffee..)
-Drinking tons of water and having 1 diet/caffeine free soda as a treat per day (or none)
-Cutting WAY back on fast food
-Thinking about my health and fitness level vs. size and weight
-Shopping and cooking healthier for my whole family

Since I started my husband has really come on board to make changes for himself as well. I think it's the competitor in him. We're doing really great helping each other stay on track and inspiring each other to work harder to improve our health.

I'm still enjoying my fitness DVD's from Netflix. That's been a great discovery. Reading health magazines has also been really encouraging to me. I just always felt like it's something other people can do, but not me. It's very odd to feel your own body change that way. Like a reverse pregnancy.

Eating out and special occasions are still really hard for me. Curse you evil pizza! My son had his b-day party/sleepover on Saturday night and I totally pigged out. Bad bad bad. I let myself get WAY too hungry before the pizza came. Even though I ordered a chicken pizza for my man and I to share (while the kids had the double pepperoni w/ sausage and bacon), I was starving and just ate and ate. Right out of the box, in bed, while watching a movie with hubby. Yup, the trifecta of what you're NOT supposed to do. On top of that, I had a piece of birthday cherry pie after. Dang. When I blow it, I really blow it. However, I was back on track the next day and actually didn't gain any weight from it (-whew-). The really odd thing is that the next morning I was really sweaty. That gross, sick-sweat you get at the end of a bug. I think it was my body reacting to the over-load of food. It was odd, but gone by lunch.

If I keep up with 12lbs a month, I'll be thrilled. I actually don't want to loose weight TOO fast (and end up with those sagging, empty pockets of skin some people get). I want to tone and firm up as I go along and get it off for good. I'm feeling proud.

I'll keep up the weekly updates and new blogs too. It is supposed to be "Teeter Totter - Finding a Balance.." anyway. Not "Let's hear all about weight loss all the time!"

Thanks for the support!

Yesterday was my son's 14th birthday. I honestly don't know where the time went. On one hand, it seems like he was just born a few years ago. I remember every moment as if it were just a few breaths away. On the other hand, I can't (and don't want to) remember a time in my life when he wasn't there. I feel the same way about my husband. Three souls who were destined to find each other in this crazy world and become a family.

My son was what I like to call, a "Surprise!" Meaning, we were only dating a few months when I got pregnant. I was in shock when I found out. We both were. Even though we really liked each other, my life was very complicated at the time and to say this would throw a wrench into my future plans was an understatement. Luckily, I firmly believe that all things happen for a reason, and so does my husband. That you may not understand why or how at the time, but in the future it will be for the good. So, we moved in together and committed ourselves to raising this baby.

We were married when our son was nine months old (I didn't want to get married while pregnant, or even marry just because of the baby). Those first few years were hard for us. Learning about each other, parenthood and our new roles. I stayed home with our son while my husband took our only car to work every day. It was pretty isolating and I was only 21.

I first thought something might be different about our baby from about the time he could pull up to all fours. He was exceptionally good and quiet. He also slept through the night from 2weeks old on. As soon as he could pull up to all fours however he would rock for hours. He would rock till he got blisters all over his feet. The doctors had no idea why and no suggestions. I thought to wrap his crib in a velvet blanket to cut the friction. That worked well, till he rocked so much he stripped the screws right out of the bed and it broke (not with him in it). Now of course I know that's a classic sign of Autism.

By age two he had self-taught himself to read and was obsessed with letters, numbers, sequences, foreign language and street signs. I was told that he was just very brilliant. I insisted that "yes, he is, but this also isn't normal, no matter how smart he is!" I was given the Dr. pat on the head, chuckle and sent on my way with the advice of "don't worry so much." He didn't like to walk (and did so very late), he talked, but in a parrot kindov way, not really for communication. He also loved to watch the same thing over and over and over (I know most kids do, but this was to the extreme). Again, all signs of Autism.

By age three he had developed a stutter that was severe enough to get us Speech Therapy through our local school district, even though he wasn't old enough to be enrolled. It was our first speech pathologist who first uttered the words "Autism Spectrum, Hyperlexia and Aspergers Syndrome" to me. I had no clue what she was talking about. She suggested I take him to a Pediatric Neurologist.. I did.

The neurologist was skeptical at first. Such a happy, good looking kid. What was I doing there? That was till my baby pointed at a bone chart in his examining room and said "Tibia" to the right bone. Then we started getting grilled.

After seeing a few different specialists, we were told our son had Aspergers Syndrome, or if you prefer the term PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified). Back then, Aspergers wasn't as heard of as it is now, and the school wouldn't give us services without considering our son Autistic. He had Autism. A form of very high functioning Autism, but Autism none the less. He was three years old when we found this out.

I began devouring all the information I could about Autism, Aspergers and PDD-NOS. The more I read, the more I felt like these people were in my house, watching us, and writing a book about our life. All the little things I had brought to our doctors attention for years. All the quirks and my concerns. ALL of them = Autism. Why had no one caught it? Why didn't they know? I was angry. I quickly became my son's champion; his expert. I attended training classes, IEP classes, CA State Special Education Law class, read countless books, joined local support groups, started my own playgroup for children on the spectrum, and kept that fierce mother bear instinct in me alive.

Now, at age 14 and coming to the end of the 8th grade school year, I'm happy to say that he's doing really well. He's fun, funny, interesting, brilliant and unique (also quite handsome if I do say so myself!). He has good friends and is quite social. He also still hums and finger flicks, but only at home and in private. He understands himself and his needs very well and also how important social interaction and appearance is. He is kind, generous and affectionate; I simply adore him. He's also the typical teenager in many ways.

He still has obsessive interests (and I do mean obsessive), but I'm convinced that they will be to his advantage when he's older. He's horribly dis-organized (though most teens are). Now it's not his Aspergers that's his hurdle in life, It's his stuttering.

When my son was younger, I was asked if I could give him a pill to make him "normal", would I? My reply was (and still is) no. His unique point of view of the world is a gift (not for all people, but for him it is). Sure, it's hard at times, but he is so special and has so much to offer the world. His Aspergers is a big part of who he is, and I wouldn't change who he is for anything.

I would, however, "fix" his stuttering if I could. That is his huge hurdle now. After 10 years of speech therapy he still stutters just as bad as when he was three (if not worse). We've done everything. Private therapy, emersion therapy, school therapy, we even dropped $6K at the beginning of Junior High to get him a Speech Easy device. A highly touted new “anti-stuttering” device that goes inside your ear like a hearing aide. It picks up your voice as you talk, alters the pitch, and you hear it in your ear like an echo (with only a nano second delay). The theory behind it is that people who stutter don't when they're talking along with other people. It did work, but the echo in his ear all the time was too much for his heightened senses (thanks to Aspergers) to take. It's been sitting in the box for a year now.

Ok, now I feel like I'm rambling, time to wrap it up.

It's been a really hard road. Re-defining myself from the learned, fierce mother bear into the parent of a typical teen has been even harder than learning to be an advocate. There are times where I still bear my fangs and want to protect him, but I think that's normal of any mother and their child(ren). It's all just going by so fast. I will definitely miss him when I don't see him every day, but I am very proud of the young man he is fast becoming. I think we did (and are doing) a good job and that he'll be alright. And that's really all any mother can hope for!

Last night I was watching a Discovery Health Channel show about obesity in America. They were saying that having “fat genes” is like a loaded gun, then our culture and environment is like pulling the trigger. If you have a “fat family” it means your cave-man ancestors were good survivalists. Your body would hang onto the fat to keep you going when food was scarce. We are built to want to eat as much as we can. Unfortunately, now days those genes don’t do us any favors. Our food is much higher in sugar, salt, calories and fat then our cave dwelling days. It’s also on every corner... everywhere we look! So, we still have the old genes telling us to gorge and store up fat, but with higher calorie food and bad things that kill us. That’s not good.

Everyone in my family is fat. Me, my aunt, her daughter, my grandmother and especially, my mother. Together we must all weigh as much as a Mac truck. So yes, I think we have the “survivalist genes.” I told my husband last night after watching that show “I’m not fat! I’m evolved!” It does feel good to know I’d out-last all those skinny island people on Lost. Just me and Hurley picking our teeth. Hahaha.

Now for my update...This week was a hard week for me. I ate healthy, and exercised well, but we also had a lot of fun events. I’m not good at reigning myself in yet when we’re out with friends, or doing something special.

I did make some new changes for the better however that I’m really proud of:

-I looked at the nutritional chart when we went to Carls Jr this weekend and ordered the lowest calorie item they had; the grilled BBQ chicken sandwich on a wheat bun. I did have a few fries with it (only a few though w/o ketchup) and skipped the soda for bottled water. That’s a HUGE improvement over the 998calorie double western bacon burger that I usually get (and that’s just the calories for the burger! Forget about the medium fries and regular coke!)

-I ate breakfast every day. This is still hard for me, but I do notice a difference.

-I quit eating when I was full. Again, this is easier said than done!

-I worked my butt off, literally! Worked hard in the yard this weekend and did my exercises on my own. It felt good (but I still don’t like it and would rather sit around).

-I had water and diet coke at friends houses. We were social this weekend and I didn’t cave at all on drinks! I stuck with water and diet coke when we were out. No wine or regular soda! I even had carrotts and hummas (before some pizza) offered by one of my supportive girlfriends.

-I communicated openly with my husband. If he ate something in front of me, rather than just be strong, I shared how it was hard for me. It’s always harder to communicate openly, but worth it! We talked a lot this weekend and it was nice.

So, last week I was down to a total of 8lbs gone. Sadly, I gained 1 back since Friday night. But I’ll work that one back off and then some this week (even if it is my son’s birthday tomorrow).

Now my downfall for the week:

-Craving eating. I’m usually ok with this, but this week I was like a pregnant woman! If someone said “Doritos”, my mouth would water and I would have to have one. It was crazy! And no, I’m not pregnant, just fat.

-I had too much pizza.

-Not sweating enough. Even though I exercised, I don’t think I pushed myself hard enough.

-Portion size. I did ok with this, but less great over the weekend. I have to watch this much better this week.

-Not enough snacking. I let myself get too hungry (then my portions grew). I also need to eat more fruit.

So, plenty to work on this week. My new suit came and it’s really cute. I have 2months before vacation to get my stamina up and some more lbs. off. For now, I’m happy with the 7lbs gone, but ready for more this week!

My family and I had been planning a Spring Break vacation to Hawaii for some time now. It was something I was really looking forward to. We had the dates all set, March 24^th-28^th. As the date drew near, we started seriously looking at vacation packages. We were pretty shocked. For a family of three to have a decent vacation in Hawaii (any island) during those days would cost us around $8K. Now we’re talking nice, not luxury or five star, just nice. We were in a state of sticker shock and I was feeling pretty disappointed.

After checking out a few other options (Mexico, Atlantis resort, Florida), it was time to re-group. What did we really want out of this vacation? “To relax!” I told my husband. No, not relax. REEEEELLLLAAAXXXXX!!!!! Toes in the sand, drink in hand, everyone happy… that kind of vacation. Then, I had an epiphany… what about Vegas?

Now I know what you’re thinking. Not exactly top of the list for family destinations, right. “Sin City” and all that. However, I got on-line and did some searching. My husband and I had been the Las Vegas a few times in the past recently and really love it. But could it really be a good family destination? What I found was interesting.

First let me say that our son will be 14 next week, so we aren’t traveling with little kids. I think a teenage vacation is very different than a real “family” vacation. He also has a wicked sense of humor and loves fantasy. I quickly stumbled across something the whole family would love. The Broadway play Spamalot is showing at the Wynn. I was so excited! We all three love Monty Python and seeing this was a must. At Excalibur they have a horse and knight show (just like Medieval Times) that would thrill the most die hard Lord of the Rings fan (which my son is). If we stay at the Mirage, they have everything Hawaii has. Of course in the shiny, not-quite-real Vegas way… but have it just the same. We can even book a room with an erupting volcano view.

The more we looked at a Vegas vacation (the pools, waterfalls, cabanas, walking everywhere, M&M store, great family shows, beautiful aquarium full of sharks) the more I was actually excited about it. Sure it’s campy and silly, but it’s also fun, close and affordable. We all talked about it and decided it would be our vacation stop.

Cutting our budget a little (but living it up in Vegas) will also allow my son and me to take a special trip to our favorite place in the world this summer, Disneyland!

So now with my suit on order and our plans being finalized, I’m just as excited as if we were still going to Hawaii!

(Yeah, I’m a little scatterbrained today. I couldn't decide on one title.)

I make daily lists of what I’m supposed to be focusing my time on. Without these lists, I’d be doomed. Now that I’m not taking any classes (this semester), I’m focusing one day on just art (not my business, just art) and another on my writing (I’m working on some articles that I’d like to get published this year).

Today my plan was originally going to be to break out the oil paints. I just wasn’t in the mood though. What’s a crafty girl to do? Why procrastinate my hated daily exercise by doing a fun craft! Last Saturday I bought some amazing kiwi vines from our local Farmers Market (I didn’t even know kiwi’s grew on vines?) They are beautiful. Much to my husband’s dismay (and in spite of much eye-rolling) I bought a beautiful bundle for $5, but was stuck with what to do with them.

I’d had another project in the back of my mind since Christmas. There was a big naked spot on our living room wall (I’m not much for empty wall space as you may have guessed by now), right above my son’s new keyboard. Originally I was thinking of getting a pretty used corkboard, re-framing and spray paitning it and making it a family photo collage space. But today, I got a GREAT idea!

The Kiwi branches were still green and flexible. I would get out the old hacksaw and wire and custom build a nature-art piece for the wall. My thought was to weave the branches loosely like a trellis, and then add pictures with clips. Now I’m not sure if I’m even going to add the pictures, or just leave it as it is. Hmmm

As I was weaving away on my kitchen floor and cutting my finger with the hacksaw (nothing serious), I was pondering how I never thought I’d be so lucky. Having a special needs child, you really learn to appreciate the little things. Like TIME to yourself. Time to make art, create new things in the world, savor my own life. I honestly never thought I would. I know I’m fortunate. My husband understands me well. He works hard in the corporate world so that I can make my own path and contribute to our family in my own way. Our son doesn’t need me to be his advocate anymore. He’s flourishing and growing into the strong young-man that I’d always hoped he could one day become. Day by day, my job is winding down with him, and I’m thrilled! Being a 24-7 advocate is exhausting. I really savor being able to turn that attention to myself… and my new funky wall art!

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Later that same day...

I decided to put some family pictures up on it with clips. I like it even more. It reminds me of a contemporary "Family Tree." What do you think? (scroll through to see all the pics)

Thursday my husband called me from work to double check that we didn’t have any plans for Saturday night. Something not out of the norm for him to do. I assumed he was going to make some plans with his friends or had a work event to attend. So when he told me no, that he’s planning something special for me, I was pretty surprised.

Later that evening he asked me if I wanted to know. I said I did so I could plan my food and exercise around it (if it involved eating yummy things, I’d be ready and not feel guilty). He said he had planned to take me to my favorite restaurant for dinner Saturday night, the Melting Pot (I’m a fondue FREAK and only get to have it every few years). I was excited and glad he told me. For the next two days I worked my butt off and ate very healthy (and only enough to keep me from being hungry). I was very excited and glad that he had told me we were having fondue so I could step up the exercising and give myself free-reign at the lovely dinner.

We entered the restaurant and I was following the waiter to a nice corner table. At least I thought that was our table. Instead he pointed at a table that already had two people at it. It seriously took me a few seconds to realize I knew these people. Aside from the wonderful “just because” dinner, my husband had invited another couple who I adore and don’t get to see very much. I was floored! I’m not easily surprised and honestly it’s been years since I was that shocked. What fun! I squealed like a little girl.

We had such a great time that night. It got me to thinking how much people really enjoy nice little surprises and how good they are for a relationship. Fresh flowers from the farmers market, a special magazine I know he likes while I’m at the grocery store, little thoughtful things. (Of course the occasional big thing is wonderful too!)

On the healthy side of my week- I had ice tea at the dinner and skipped the calorie ladened soda and alcohol. I gave myself free-reign on the food though (just for that night). I’ve been doing my Netflix workout video every day and walking the dogs (that’s my fitness goal for the week. A dog walk and tape a day). I’m enjoying the videos at home more than walking. I still hate to walk, but the dogs love it and I love them so… I’m eating breakfast every day (which for me is a big deal). I hate to eat in the mornings, but know I need to. It’s usually something small. A breakfast bar, or some peanut butter crackers or a banana. Just a little something to start the day. I’m snacking healthy and eating less (normal portions) at meals. Drinking WAY more water. I’m still loving my Spicy V-8 and Yoplait Whips. They’re the two things I can’t live without right now. I'm also down another 2lbs this week (6 total since Jan 2nd).

I’m still feeling good and working hard. Keeping my food-dairy and thinking of you all here. I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend full of good surprises!

Two things are most difficult for me during my quest for health. The ritual of eating bad foods with my family (aka: TREATS!) and exercise. I was telling my husband last night that changing your eating habits so much reminds me of quitting smoking (which I successfully did last year). It wasn’t the actual cigarettes. I don’t like the taste or smell. It was the ritual of it. The habit of it that I enjoyed. As a good friend told me recently. It’s like a physical exclamation point that you can flourish in the air at will. I agree. Changing the ritual and habit of smoking was much harder than the physical part of quitting for me.

Food is the same. As soon as our son went to bed my husband and I would dig into treat time. We’d snuggle up in bed in front of the TV and enjoy a big bowl of ice cream, or a plate of cookies, or brownies… you get the picture. Almost every night this was our ritual. Now it’s not the treats in bed I miss. It’s the ritual of eating sweets in bed with my sweet. Although something interesting is happening. The last few nights we’ve been talking more. We still watch TV, but not as early. Instead we’re talking, snuggling, reading and just enjoying each other. So although we both miss the treats a little, we are gaining something even more special. All while being healthier.

In the past when one of us would try to be healthier and loose some weight the other would end up sabotaging. Bringing home or making something decedent and high calorie to “treat” each other. Instead, yesterday I bought my husband a magazine I thought he would like. He’s also being very supportive and encouraging me. I think this time will be a winner!

Getting healthy and changing your habits is also very time-consuming and draining. When I quit smoking it was before I started my business and was on un-employment. It was draining, hard work and took a lot. But I did it. Getting healthy and loosing weight is the same. I’m busy, but what extra energy I have left is being devoted to staying strong and on-task.

Especially with the support of my man (and you all), I think I can do it!

It’s been 7 days now since I embarked on my quest for better health. I’m happy to report that I’m already down 4lbs. It’s not what the scale says though, I’m proud of myself just for my improvements. I’m caring for myself much more than before. Thinking about what I eat, why I’m eating, when I’m eating and how. I savor my food more (and only eat at the table). I try and get SOME kind of exercise every day. Mostly walking the dogs, but I have some fun exercise videos coming from our Netflix account soon (yes, what a great discovery that was! They have exercise tapes).

I think the biggest help has been my book. I took a few pictures of some pages here for you. Yes, I really do use my SacMomsClub bookmark for it. I got a lot of good magazines last week and cut out things I really liked out of them. Some are just words of enrouagements, others reminded me of Hawaii, but I also included little tips and even some recipies. Being such a visual, artistic person, I really enjoyed the project. It makes me want to record my food day and add more to it. I think after I fill this one up, I need to get a bigger one!

It also helped knowing I have so many moms here pulling for me. Knowing I had to account for myself to you all was a real motivator.

I will end this week’s health update with some great products I discovered and are working well for me. Enjoy!

-Yoplait Whips (I HATE yogurt, but love the texture of the whips. I like the Lemon Meringue and Key Lime Pie flavors. I really feel like I’m eating pie!)

-CURVES chocolate peanut bars (I don’t like breakfast, but one of these with coffee or tea is a tasty, easy, fast start to the day. Only 100calories each)

-Spicy V8 (I’m not a vege eater, so I like to sneak it in. I pretend it’s a Bloody Mary and it’s my mid-day treat! I also discovered if you drink a glass before you eat, you aren’t as hungry!)

-Flat Earth Baked Veggie Crisps – Garlic & Herb Field (Great with a Bocca burger or sandwich. Yum! “½ daily serving of real veges in every ounce”)

-Turkey Sausage (I’m trying to eat more protein in the morning. Even my son loved this!)

On a side note, a few more tips:

-Water (I’ve been drinking tons)

-Eat when hungry, stop when full

-Eat at the table, ALWAYS!

-Don’t over-think exercise. Just do it. It’s not an option or up for discussion. Just go!

The food picture is my lunch the other day. It took about 5minutes to make. A Bocca burger on a wheat bun, grapefruit cup (no sugar) and the Veggie Crisps. Yum! It was actually tasty!

Hope you’re all having a great week!

I have never handled stress well. Many many many things irritate me. So many in fact that I have a joke pretend list. I will tell my husband “Add that to my list… people who stop in the middle of the road to let other people out. UGH!” Over the years however I have developed coping techniques that are pretty helpful and affective.

I know I’m definitely not the only stressed mom in the world. In fact, it is quite an epidemic. So, I thought I would share some tricks that work wonders for me. Feel free to share your own! I love reading what helps other busy mom’s relax just a little.

Here’s my tips.

1) Communication

I find that when I’m feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders it’s because I’m trying to do it all (or too much on my own). If I tell my husband and/or my son what I need help with, they are more than happy to jump in and give a hand. If I share that I’m drowning in dishes and just can’t do another load, my man will jump in and help out. If I have a huge to-do list, rather than go at it alone, I enlist my son to help. Not only is it more fun to do work with another person (like shopping, putting food away, doing dishes), but he’s learning great life and relationship skills (and it gets done twice as fast)! So don’t go at it alone. Communicate and enlist help.

2) Breathe

I know this sounds simple and silly. I used to suffer from panic attacks occasionally due to stress. I read something that changed my life. If you take a longer breathe out than you take in it will stimulate the “relaxing” hormones in your brain. This is a great de-fuser if you’re having a panic attack, or just feeling the stress ball on your shoulders.

3) Take a Shower/Bath (Calgon! Take Me Away!)

If you can, take a shower. Really focus on your body and how hard it works for you. Give yourself a good Apricot Scrub (you can get in any drug store). Scrub your hands with it and as you do, think about everything they do for you. After your shower, lotion yourself up really well. Treat yourself like you would your baby. Really nourish yourself. You’ll be soft and silky smooth AND feel much better.

4) Heat it Up

Make yourself some warm tea, soup, cocoa and put on a sweater. This feels really good when your muscles are hard and tense. If you can, get out the heating pad and put it on your shoulders for a few minutes (or buy one of those lavender filled neck or eye sachets. Heat it up and use it!)

5) Call a Friend

Getting to laugh on the phone for a few minutes will do you more good than an hour of therapy.

6) To Do to DONE

Rather than focusing on everything you have yet to do, go over in your mind all you’ve done. If you’re feeling especially tense, you may even think about how far you and your family have come. All you’ve accomplished. So rather than a to-do list, focus on the DONE for a few minutes!

7) Get Plenty of Rest!

Being tired will take it out of you. If you have a hard time getting to sleep, start a night time ritual for yourself. Wash your face well, then moisturize. Don’t forget your hands and feet! This will relax you right away and is very helpful to combat winter dryness.

8) Reality Check

Is it really worth being stressed about? Can you change the fact or the situation? Notice how it’s affecting you physically? Sometimes just doing a little reality check with yourself to see how stressed you are can be enough. You can actually make a conscious choice to relax, or react differently so that you will feel better fast. This takes a lot of practice, but I think can be the most helpful tip of all.

I try do one of these things every day and can’t tell you what a difference they have made. Of course having the help and support of my guys makes a difference too!

On a side-note. My “Getting Healthy” plan is going really well. My husband was very supportive this weekend. We walked the dogs a lot and he walked with me to the Dollar Tree (close to our house). We ate pretty well (not perfect, but that’s ok. Still an improvement). I’m planning on weighing myself tomorrow, but I already got a smaller pair of jeans!

This is a question I ask myself often. And you know what? I usually find out the answer.

Three years ago my husband and I were heading from relationship trouble to divorce. Quick. With a lot of work and communication, we are now happier than ever. Last year I got worked over by a corporate job. I wasn't sure what I was going to do. Now I'm taking classes, teaching art and my business is taking off. I'm (again) happier than ever.

Now I'm looking at my body. Don't get me wrong, I think I'm pretty. Soft and round and lovely, my man certainly has no complaints, but my joints do. My back hurts every day. I hate feeling out of shape. I hate those squishy rolls you get on your back around your bra, and the other one that peeks out of the top of your pants. I hate my knees popping all the time. I already have the beginning of arthritis in them and refuse to someday be confined to a "Lark."

We're going to be heading to Hawaii in the spring and I'm about 100lbs overweight. Yup, 100lbs. That's if I go by the medical chart of what I should be. Of course, I take into consideration where I feel comfortable and the fact that I'm 6'0 tall, so I think I should loose around 80. When I picture myself in Hawaii, I don't hear knees cracking as I hike around the beautiful forest. Me wearing a bathing suit my grandmother would love on the beach. Stretching my seatbelt as far as it will go (to the very end) on the plane. I want to be healthy and have a good time. I'm happy to be voluptuous, but I think I've crossed over somewhere into fat.

So... How do I change that?
The first thing I've done is gotten a little notebook (and decorated it of course) and started writing down everything I eat. I'm a very visual person (surprise!) and so far I find this useful. It helps me want to do it if I include positive images from magazines, mantras, quotes and tips. I'm also back to hard-core meal planning. I've gotten a little lax on that end from the holidays. Any treats left in the house have gone is a big baggie and are in the top of the cupboard (my man would scream if I tossed them out).

I just got back from the store where I stocked up on fresh fruit, veggies, water and low-fat dairy (something that feels like a treat to me and fills me up). Now for the big confession...
I HATE TO EXERCISE!!! Not dis-like. HATE!!! I'm going to try and do it every single day though. Luckily I have two dogs, so they help get me out the door when I'm not in the mood.

My goal is to get in shape nice and slow and steady. No huge rush. Just gradual changes. It will be really hard, but I know I can do it. My husband also could stand to get into some better shape. I'm not pressuring him to do anything with me (as I would HATE him to do that to me). Usually when I try to be healthier, he gets on board. I'd like us both to at least be in better shape for our vacation.