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Teeter Totter ~ Finding a Balance Between Me-Hood and Motherhood
Gender: female Date of Birth: January 01, 1973 Member Since: September 11, 2007 Last Signed In: November 20, 2009 Blog Views: 14722 Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend
Growing That Acorn
Faith Need vs Want A Tight Budget Holiday The Play Priority Disney’s A Christmas Carol – A Mom Review Making it Easy on Yourself When It Rains… You Are Here Halloween with Older Kids September 07 October 07 November 07 December 07 January 08 February 08 March 08 April 08 May 08 June 08 July 08 August 08 September 08 October 08 November 08 December 08 January 09 February 09 March 09 April 09 May 09 June 09 July 09 August 09 September 09 October 09 November 09 Teeter Totter Finding a Balance Between "Me-Hood" and "Motherhood" In this blog I'll be covering as wide a variety of subjects as the duties of a real mom in today's culture. From raising special needs children, family vacations, marriage, relationships, sex, cooking, local to-do, school (both for you and the children), working, hiring a daycare provider, arts and crafts, decorating, holidays, to well... EVERYTHING! No holding back. 
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Loneliness
Something I struggled with and was a huge part of my life after the birth of my son was loneliness. I would have lived on this site as much as possible had the technology been there back then. I stayed at home with the baby all day while dad took our only car to work. My only escape were daily walks and when my grandparents would come, pick us up, and take us out for the day. This wore thin fast, but it was about a year till we were able to make some changes where I would drop my husband off at the bus stop instead. At the time, we lived in rural Folsom, so it was common to not see a soul on our walks. This was a really tough time for us. As soon as my husband would walk through the door I was conflicted with joy at seeing another adult, and my need for a small break from baby duty. I watched the clock like a first grader waiting for the recess bell and became upset if he was even a few minutes late coming home. My poor husband couldn’t comprehend what I was going through; the hormones, new motherhood, being alone all day and needing a lot of attention from him. We struggled daily with our new roles and relationship. Even though it is better these days for new mothers who have internet access and computers at home, I’m sure many of you still go through this process. What helped for me was making socialization with other moms a priority. After about three months I joined a new mother group through the hospital where I had my son. This was a big step on my road back to normalcy. Even though I only saw these women and their babies once a week, it was a lifesaver. When my son was a little older, we joined Gymboree. Even though I wasn’t crazy about the program, just being out of the house and around other women with similar age babies was helpful. When my son was two we moved to Loneliness, isolation and uncertainty are all very real feelings of early motherhood that people don’t discuss much. Yes, it is wonderful to have a new baby in your life, but if you chose to stay at home full time, it is vital to have a good support system in place and get back into the world (with your baby in tow) as soon as possible.
Image taken from http://www.planetnikon.com/...>http://images.google.com/im... 7 comments from 5 users
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posted by
kellimwheeler
on Jan 28, 2009 at 11:42 PM
I remember those "Ground Hog Day" days of infancy. Wake/play/feed/clean-up/bath/nap/repeat. Thank goodness for Mommy playgroup/support group or I wouldn't be here talking to you today. posted by
wifemotherdaughtersister
on Jan 29, 2009 at 06:37 AM
oh girl! i know! i actually have tried a few real life mommy groups, but something just didn't click so i never went back. until i found sacmom's! now i'm a die hard. i think the lonliness part of motherhood is the big big dark secret that no one tells you about before you have kids. it can drive you crazy and do things that you never thought you would do. we made it so far! posted by
creatress
on Jan 29, 2009 at 10:57 AM
Hey ladies. Well, I'm so happy that you both found it here! kellimwheeler, did you find a local in-person group that worked for you? wifemotherdaughtersister, I know what you mean. I really didn't have good women friends till we moved back to Davis. I just didn't have anything in common with those other women. It gets frusterating for sure and I felt very hopeless at times, but I just kept putting myself out there. Now I'm blessed with quite a few amazing friends. It just takes time.
posted by
JulieHintz
on Jan 29, 2009 at 12:37 PM
Well, I have to say I'm way more of a recluse. I could probably go for years without seeing another person and be perfectly happy. However, I'm really liking the SacMomsClub website anyway. Probably because you don't actually have to SEE anyone at all. You can communicate with people without ever having to wash your hair or change out of pjs if you feel like it. You can be a participant by simply browsing through the site, or by actually contributing, whichever you like. There's absolutely no pressure to do anything more than what you feel like, everyone is really nice about all the stuff I've posted so far, and it covers just about any topic regarding being a parent that you might ever want information about. And if it isn't covered, you can just start your own topic and there's a pretty good chance you'll get some valuable feedback. So, I'm a big fan of the website, too, and if it helps people feel connected to other similar minded individuals, even better! :-) posted by
creatress
on Jan 29, 2009 at 01:04 PM
That's a great testimonial Julie. I agree with everything you said.
posted by
hmoeckli
on Feb 1, 2009 at 08:47 AM
Good topic! I also felt really lonely when I gave birth to Em. It was the summer and it was super hot, so I felt trapped in my apartment. I was really surprised when I went back to work and still felt lonely. I wasn't prepared for people treating me differently. It was a rough time, but I have a hugely supportive husband and we got through. I love that Emy talks now. She's a great little companion. :) posted by
creatress
on Feb 2, 2009 at 11:52 AM
That's great that your husband was able to support you like that. A lot of partners can just feel confused and helpless and not know how to help you out of it.
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