HomeTeeter Totter ~ Finding a Balance Between Me-Hood and Motherhood
Gender: female Date of Birth: January 01, 1973 Member Since: September 11, 2007 Last Signed In: January 09, 2009 Blog Views: 9145 Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend
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A Space of My Own
As I gazed at the pile of my husbands clean shirts laying atop my “homework” chair I realized… there is no where in this stupid house that is just for me! My son has his room (of course), my man has his own “game room,” the biggest room in the house to cozily hold all his collections. Me? I have attempted to squeeze out some space that was “just for me” many times through the years. An art space that my son would then decide to fill with his supplies, a teaching space that would also become my son’s homework space… You get the idea. I thought I finally got it right when I squeezed a small table and chair into our bedroom (next to the laundry hamper, but I’ll take what I can get.) just for my school work. However, when I saw my husband using that space as his “I know you just did my laundry for me but I can’t put it away right now OR get a basket to put them in so I’ll dump them on your work chair” space, I wanted to scream. Now, I’m making my husband out to be a beast, so let me clarify. I often put my own clean clothes on that chair and I think he assumed it was the “clean clothes chair” by my example. Not “MY SPACE, MY CLOTHES!” Also, I don’t mind him having a whole room for his stuff. BUT when he has the whole room, PLUS oozes onto my space that I try and carve out for myself, I get irritated. The “newlywed me” would have just kept moving his clothes assuming he would eventually connect the two. The “married 14 years today to this man me” talked to him the second I started feeling irritated about it. “Can I ask you a favor?” I said when he got home last night. “Could you please not put your clean clothes on my desk chair?” That’s all it took. I’m not sure why most women naturally try and avoid “talks” like that. I was for sure one of them (once upon a time.) I’ve lived and learned and luckily for me, so has my husband. I didn’t share this story to harp on him, only to bring out a real common problem. Moms, wives, women tend to do everything for everyone else and leave themselves on the back burner. Living your life that way has consequences that aren’t good for anyone. I’ve found it is so much better to address these little feelings and issues before they boil over into something bigger. On a high note, today is our 14th wedding anniversary. We’re meeting for lunch and I can’t wait! My aunt will watch man-cub for us this weekend while we do a nice in-town celebration.
8 comments from 4 users
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posted by
creatress
on Oct 3, 2008 at 07:29 AM
Sounds CUTE and expensive! Me likey!
posted by
wifemotherdaughtersister
on Oct 3, 2008 at 06:31 AM
i can't even have my own razor. he uses that too. this is why i want my own super cute, non-mommed apartment/loft in midtown where no husbands or children are allowed. posted by
creatress
on Oct 2, 2008 at 07:37 PM
Hahahah! I love it. Both VERY helpful visuals.
posted by
hmoeckli
on Oct 2, 2008 at 06:01 PM
Oh, that is so good to hear. I actually get mad too easily, but it is not flattering at all. I'm like an angry little hedge-hog...or Yosemite Sam!
posted by
creatress
on Oct 2, 2008 at 04:49 PM
I know! What is that!? Why do I feel guilty about needing my own space?! Rg.
posted by
patiencengrace
on Oct 2, 2008 at 04:37 PM
That is so frustrating. All you ask is a couple of square feet to call your own. Just a tiny little area where no one will dump anything, or take away anything. As moms we give and give and give, nearly give our very breath, and sometimes feel guilty for wanting just a little something all our own.
posted by
creatress
on Oct 1, 2008 at 10:39 PM
Thanks doll! I have a hard time picturing you mad. I'm not sure why. posted by
hmoeckli
on Oct 1, 2008 at 09:03 PM
Proving once again, you are a better person than me. I'd dump his clothes at his feet. Again, I am not the example. :)Happy Anniversary!
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