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As I gazed at the pile of my husbands clean shirts laying atop my “homework” chair I realized… there is no where in this stupid house that is just for me!

My son has his room (of course), my man has his own “game room,” the biggest room in the house to cozily hold all his collections. Me? I have attempted to squeeze out some space that was “just for me” many times through the years. An art space that my son would then decide to fill with his supplies, a teaching space that would also become my son’s homework space… You get the idea.

I thought I finally got it right when I squeezed a small table and chair into our bedroom (next to the laundry hamper, but I’ll take what I can get.) just for my school work. However, when I saw my husband using that space as his “I know you just did my laundry for me but I can’t put it away right now OR get a basket to put them in so I’ll dump them on your work chair” space, I wanted to scream.

Now, I’m making my husband out to be a beast, so let me clarify. I often put my own clean clothes on that chair and I think he assumed it was the “clean clothes chair” by my example. Not “MY SPACE, MY CLOTHES!” Also, I don’t mind him having a whole room for his stuff. BUT when he has the whole room, PLUS oozes onto my space that I try and carve out for myself, I get irritated.

The “newlywed me” would have just kept moving his clothes assuming he would eventually connect the two. The “married 14 years today to this man me” talked to him the second I started feeling irritated about it. “Can I ask you a favor?” I said when he got home last night. “Could you please not put your clean clothes on my desk chair?” That’s all it took. I’m not sure why most women naturally try and avoid “talks” like that. I was for sure one of them (once upon a time.) I’ve lived and learned and luckily for me, so has my husband.

I didn’t share this story to harp on him, only to bring out a real common problem. Moms, wives, women tend to do everything for everyone else and leave themselves on the back burner. Living your life that way has consequences that aren’t good for anyone. I’ve found it is so much better to address these little feelings and issues before they boil over into something bigger.

On a high note, today is our 14^th wedding anniversary. We’re meeting for lunch and I can’t wait! My aunt will watch man-cub for us this weekend while we do a nice in-town celebration.

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