HomeTeeter Totter ~ Finding a Balance Between Me-Hood and Motherhood
Gender: female Date of Birth: January 01, 1973 Member Since: September 11, 2007 Last Signed In: January 09, 2009 Blog Views: 9142 Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend
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Compromise Till It Hurts!
Ahhh yes, welcome to the 9th grade. Our school year is off to a nail biting start. Of course, this is the first year man-cub’s grades count for college. So yeah, we’re a little tense. He can be a little…um… how shall I put it? LAZY from time to time, so that’s always a concern. We had a really nice family meeting this past Sunday. I was feeling like I had to nag him about everything or he’d do nothing. He was feeling like all I do is nag at him and he doesn’t have any freedom of choice. Dad just felt like he needed to suck it up, be more adult, and get his stuff done (I know, I laughed at that one too!) I think we came up with a good compromise. There are things he needs to get done every day that he “forgets” or just slacks off and doesn’t do (apparently unless I either nag or threaten him.) I told him “I will make you a daily list. The things on that list need to be finished before you go to bed. We will give it 1 week and see how it goes. I promise not to bring up anything on this list and let you just complete it on your own.” Then magically everything was wonderful once more. Hahahah! I know, good one. Ah no. The first day with “the list” went slow. He was procrastinating everything and left it all till the last minute. Apparently I didn’t communicate what would happen should he not finish the list. When he was down to 2hrs left in the day (and about 10 things un-checked) I told him, “If you don’t finish your list before bed, I will yell at you (he HATES that, always has) and there will be no TV or computer tomorrow!” “WHAT!” He yells “You didn’t tell me that!” Rrrrrggg. He finishes the list. Each day has gone a little better. I’ve learned to separate the list into morning (do before school) and evening (do before bed.) It’s definitely better than me nagging at him and getting that lovely teenage attitude back, plus he feels more in control of his time and day. I call that win-win! 5 comments from 4 users
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posted by
creatress
on Sep 19, 2008 at 07:57 AM
posted by
AmandaS
on Sep 18, 2008 at 07:21 PM
You always amaze me with your creativity with Man Cub. Good job!
posted by
hmoeckli
on Sep 18, 2008 at 04:46 PM
It sounds like you are tackling the challenges of teaching independence in exactly the right way. You are holding him accountable, but also offering support. Good for you!
posted by
creatress
on Sep 17, 2008 at 09:44 PM
I do remember those days like they were yesterday. The annoyance just changes, it doesn't ever go away. Hahah.
posted by
wifemotherdaughtersister
on Sep 17, 2008 at 08:25 PM
remember the toddler days when you couldn't even sit down on the can for a minute before you had to rush out pulling up you pants to see what he'd gotten into? yeah. i'm glad you found something that works for you guys! and i'm a fan of lists and i think it's a great way to learn time management, responsibility and an overall appreciation of lists.
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That's the thing about having a special needs kid. At this point I'm really used to thinking "outside the box" and asking myself "If I were him... what would work best." I'm struggling with not doing too much FOR him this year. MY biggest downfall as a parent. I need to let my little chick flap his own wings more.
Thanks ladies!