HomeTeeter Totter ~ Finding a Balance Between Me-Hood and Motherhood
Gender: female Date of Birth: January 01, 1973 Member Since: September 11, 2007 Last Signed In: November 30, 2008 Blog Views: 8588 Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend
Tradition Interrupted
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Call Me a Consumer
I have an issue I struggle with. Consumerism. On one hand I believe in reduce, re-use and recycle. I buy second hand, sales and take hand-me-downs from my aunt. I watch my budget closely and can pinch a penny well. Then something happens, I transmorph into a materialistic superficial elitist. I simply MUST HAVE another piece of jewelry, or designer purse (my two weaknesses). My focus on local grown healthy foods goes out of my mind as fast as I see an Outback Steakhouse commercial, dragging my new Coach bag and family out the door for an expensive dinner. I have no idea where this comes from and sadly, my husband is the same way. Great with a budget, healthy and conscious one minute, buying an iPhone the next (and no, I’m not making exaggerations here.) I’m thinking that the reasons for this uber consumerism impulses could come from starting out with each other so young and with nothing. Now as soon as we feel a little relaxed financially, we “spoil” each other. Not good. Of course there are saner things we need. A bathroom makeover, new tires on my car, a little family day-trip… but oh no! We need a Coach bag and iPhone more. Part of me relishes the ability to “treat” ourselves to something we REALLY want (and let me stress this is rare). The other part is disgusted at the example I’m setting for our son. But is it really that bad? If you work hard, make sacrifices, you too can “treat” yourself to something you really want? Is that horrible? 19 comments from 8 users
posted by
crzkb
on Aug 9, 2008 at 01:22 PM
posted by
creatress
on Aug 9, 2008 at 01:24 PM
We sound very similar in our shopping. That makes me feel better. I always feel like such a hyppocrite when I do that!
posted by
AmandaS
on Aug 9, 2008 at 01:49 PM
I, too, am familiar with this scenario. My other problem is buying nice stuff for my kids. I have to say, though, I think my husband is actually worse about this one than I am. I have been swatting down his attempts to trick me into a 52" flat panel TV for at least 14 months. He was much easier than I was at being upsold on our new highlander with all the bells and whistles. Right now, I only want two things... A kitchen and family room remodel ($50,000) and A new road bike ($1200). Hmmmmmmm....I think the remodel will win out. That way hubby can get his stupid TV. posted by
creatress
on Aug 9, 2008 at 11:46 PM
I think that's a really smart way to do it. It's nice when they are both items you can both use (like the kitchen and TV.)
posted by
wifemotherdaughtersister
on Aug 10, 2008 at 09:31 AM
hey the simple fact that you are having conflicting feelings about this is a good sign that you are totally keeping it in check. it's not like your one of those orange county housewives or a girl on my super sweet 16!i read an interesting point recently and the basic of the idea was this: intentionally living in absolute poverty, with no material possessions isn't necessarily the more moral life to live, it just may be the easiest. if you are never surrounded by temptation, you will never learn how to be strong against it. if it's not there in the first place you are just avoiding it. so i think you are awesome, and you guys work hard for your money and deserve to enjoy it in a responsible way. ( and YES designer handbags are totally responsible) posted by
creatress
on Aug 10, 2008 at 11:47 AM
That's a totall awsome quote and point of view wifemotherdaughtersister . I had never heard that before. I agree though, everything in moderation. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round and I'm just doing my part to help stimulate the economy. Hahaha. :) posted by
hmoeckli
on Aug 10, 2008 at 02:48 PM
My parents were very on-point when it came to a budget. Every month, they got a certain amount of money from the bank, and divided it into the appropriate envelopes. Everything had one: food, gas, allowance, clothing, bills, home improvement. If there was no money in the envelope, you didn't get to do it. The aspect I thought was healthy was that we had an entertainment envelope and a birthday one too. They built treats into the system and it seemed to work pretty well. posted by
girl4agreenerworld
on Aug 10, 2008 at 04:50 PM
My parents were the same way about budgeting, but instead of envelopes they used jars. The budget wasn't just about the necessities like groceries and gas, they also had an entertainment jar. What fun is it to work, work, work all the time with no rewards? Because of their wise budgeting my brother and I were able to go to a private school, participate in all kinds of activities and take many family vacations. They also saved well and invested for their retirement. I think one reason that my parents were so good with money is that they both came from poor backgrounds. They were a good example, and there is one side of me that is similar and searches for the best deal......I love to brag about how little I paid for an item I may have found at a garage sale or thrift store. Then there is this other side of me that recently spent $1300 for a love seat covered in an authentic black cow hide!!! (From Cottage Girl's in Carmichael. It's fabulous looking, by the way!) So for Creatress it's a Coach purse, for me it's a love seat covered in a cowhide. It was a splurge! It's not something I do everyday. It made me feel good and it still makes me feel good, as I love how it looks in my home. I don't think it is wrong to buy something nice for you every once-in-a-while. If it's pretty frequently and it jeopardizes your family's finances, then that is a problem you might want to address. I say eliminate the guilt about buying yourself something you like and eliminate any guilt associated to eating chocolate too. (Another something I feel I deserve right now and there isn't anything remotely chocolate in the house!)
posted by
creatress
on Aug 11, 2008 at 07:03 AM
Don't you hate it when your comments vanish? Let's try this again. I think I said... I also love to brag about how cheap I got something (It used to drive me crazy when other people did it, so maybe it means I'm getting older?) I was just telling my husband that nothing makes me happier than having something you really want/need, putting it off for a long time, then getting it WAY cheaper than you thought you would/could. Silly, I know. posted by
girl4agreenerworld
on Aug 11, 2008 at 09:58 AM
I'm not saying that the envelope thing is something you should do, I was just commenting on how it worked for my parents. I can't say that I learned anything from it, because if I did I would probably have something like that in play for me. I do admire my parent's commitment to that system, however. Also I think it is much harder when there are two adults in a household having to agree on how the finances are spent each month. I guess one good thing about being a single mom is that I don't have anyone to answer to with regards to money issues. Could you imagine me trying to hide the love seat I bought a few months ago from a husband?
With that being said and with all joking aside about personally stimulating the economy, finances play a huge role in all of our lives. As sad as it is about the downturn in the economy and the budget crisis, I do believe that people are becoming more aware and more responsible when it comes to spending and saving. I can't say that I regret buying my cow hide love seat, but it is definitely not a necessity and not something I plan to buy every day or every year, for that matter. posted by
creatress
on Aug 11, 2008 at 06:06 PM
I agree with you totally. It's good to treat yourself to something you really love and want every now and then. If you did it all the time, not only would it blow your budget, but I don't think it would be a treat anymore. You would get jaded and it would be special (like a house full of cow hide furniture vs one loveseat). Although, you can't have too many Coach bags. Hahahah.
posted by
girl4agreenerworld
on Aug 11, 2008 at 06:31 PM
Yes, a house full of cow hide furniture would be over kill. Terrible pun intended.
posted by
creatress
on Aug 11, 2008 at 08:24 PM
Hahaha. Nice one.
posted by
hmoeckli
on Aug 11, 2008 at 10:27 PM
And when it comes to splurges, I like to save and find something I really want. If I'm just being impulsive, I don't find it that satisfying afterwards. But if it's a pair of jeans I've been lusting over or shiny new shoes, and I finally get to get them, then it's a thrill.
posted by
theurbanmom
on Aug 12, 2008 at 04:24 AM
Treat yourself once in a while. I don't think it's hypocritical if you aren't forcing your "cheap" opinions on other people. For example, I drive a nice mini van that eats a bit of gas these days and have to budget around the costs. I've had people give me attitude for not having a small more efficient vehicle given the state of the world today. They used to drive larger vehicles and have now "discovered" the hip trend of small. What they don't know is I had small efficient cars for years by choice as a college student and young adult, living overseas, etc. I have a family now and need more room. I think I've done my part for saving the environment. When we need less room I'll get a smaller vehicle. Treat yourself once in a while. You deserve it.
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No, this is NOT bad. I am the ultimate pincher of the penny. I brown bag my lunch every single day, I go clothes shopping at Marshalls and Ross maybe once every 2 years, and I watch the free movies on demand instead of buying a new release. But if there is something I really want, something I've had my mind on for quite a long time, I get it. I figure that's one of the reasons you save save save most of the time... so you can splurge on things that really matter to you. Like that Coach bag or iPhone.
Totally justified.