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Teeter Totter ~ Finding a Balance Between Me-Hood and Motherhood
Gender: female Date of Birth: January 01, 1973 Member Since: September 11, 2007 Last Signed In: November 20, 2009 Blog Views: 14722 Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend
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You Can’t Do It All
Really, I mean it. You can’t do EVERYTHING! I know you THINK you can, you are a mom after all. I’m not saying there is anything you CAN’T do; I’m saying you need to prioritize. A few times a year, I do a little “life” spring cleaning. Check in with myself, see how happy I am, where I’m at in life, what more do I want, what can I do to get there, what’s important to me, what do I enjoy and how can I restructure my life to get more of those things and inch closer to my personal goals. For example, last week I was feeling very overwhelmed. I checked in with myself to learn that three things were causing this over abundance of grey hair inducing stress. Seriously!! I think I got five new grey eyebrow hairs in one week! I realized that these things weren’t very important; I wasn’t getting anything personally or financially out of them, so out they go! Easier said then done, but let me just say that after I cut my ties with them, I felt 110% better! Just like cleaning your house, clearing out your closet, or upgrading something nice in your home, re-structuring your own personal priorities is a must. Sadly it’s also something that busy mom’s put on the back burner. Don’t! It’s so easy to slip into that habit, but I can tell you that there’s NEVER a good time to focus on yourself, so just squeeze it in anyway. Everyone around you will benefit in the end and you’ll be much saner and happier. Here are some things I like to ask myself when I check in:
You could even write down your own answers to these questions, and then check in with the list every so often. Then again, who has time to make a list for anything other than groceries?! 10 comments from 7 users
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posted by
MamaSeaShell
on Jun 9, 2008 at 10:29 AM
I recently did my own pedicure-french-tips....I felt so accomplished. It made me a cheerier person. My husband was happy to see me light up and my kids think I'm a much funnier mommy. Even though they don't know why. I love your stories. Thank you for being here.
posted by
hmoeckli
on Jun 9, 2008 at 12:50 PM
Thanks for this post. It's so easy to get caught up in things and lose perspective. I've really learned this year that if I do the things I want to, the things I find important and fulfilling, I don't feel as drained. I get tired, but it's a happy tired. posted by
creatress
on Jun 9, 2008 at 01:08 PM
I'm glad you enjoy the posts MamaSeaShell. I agree with you very much that even a little thing like taking the time to do your nails can make such a huge difference in both your mood, and your ability to handle more stress and demands. Good point! hmoeckli, I know it's been a hard year for you. Sounds like you learned a lot. What a wise woman you are to not only come out of such a challenging time intact, but with a healthy perspective on the future. You rock! posted by
suprizmom
on Jun 9, 2008 at 01:33 PM
I love this idea is is certainly something that I need to do. thanks for the tip, I'm so good at the house and closet cleaning but I have to work on cleaning my self for sanity purposes.
posted by
AmandaS
on Jun 9, 2008 at 05:00 PM
I love the idea of an emotional spring cleaning. I have been emotionally cleaning up since January 1st. It feels good to give yourself permission to let go of the shizzz, cut yourself some slack, and spoil yourself (although, creatress, I hold YOU responsible for that Coach bag I tote around these days) :-)
posted by
creatress
on Jun 9, 2008 at 05:20 PM
That Coach bag was not a spoil, that was a necessity! 1) your other purse was beyond skanky! 2) It was like 90% off! You can't pass that up!!! And yes, it's easy to spot the grime on your toilet, but it takes a closer look to see energy suckers that you don't need in your life. posted by
Jenniefromtheblock
on Jun 9, 2008 at 07:20 PM
That is a very nice post. My husband & I try to go away a weekend without the kids every now & then and we meditate and do a gratitude list and a negative list and then we right how we can fix or change things and then discuess each others lists. I learned that from a counselor I was see a few years ago. All try and make time to do your list it's great stuff for the soul. posted by
wifemotherdaughtersister
on Jun 10, 2008 at 06:03 AM
thanks for the nudge! i always have a mental list of things i need to change or improve or whatever. but problem is, i always come up with excuses why i can't do those things. we don't have the money right now for...... i really can't take the time for that right now, i have a toddler.... it would take too much work.... and so on. the 1-800-dentist commercials are totally geared towards me. posted by
AmandaS
on Jun 10, 2008 at 06:50 AM
At least it was a skanky coach. ;-)
posted by
creatress
on Jun 10, 2008 at 07:33 AM
I read a good book once (while in the throws of feeling like I need to be more of a typical mom rather than the funky artist mama I am), and it suggested that no matter how outlandish, picture your perfect life. Then spend 1 hour trying to make it a reality. So for example, my "dream life" is to live on the coast and do art. I spent some time on-line checking out coastal properties and local artist groups and classes. Pretty much that's how I got into teaching art. So even though for RIGHT NOW that life would be un-realistic, there's things I can do to get that feeling and turn my life that way. Like renting a cheap beach cottage for a few days a year, teaching art and doing art locally, making sure all my art supplies are out where I'll want to use them (not stashed in the garage). Catch my drift?! You can do the same thing. If your dream is to someday write a book, you (for now) could hone your skills by writing on your blog every other day (or whatever time you can spare). If you always regretted not getting that college degree? You could take one class at your local community college a symester. Of course there's also the more immediate things you can do. Such as painting your nails, taking that extra long shower, playing catch with the kids instead of all slabbing at home, going on a cheap family adventure, saying "no" to that group that keeps sucking your time and energy...
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