SacMomsClub.com

Last night was one of those very rare moments where I got to have some social time with a girlfriend. Don’t be jealous now, but Amanda (from SacMomsClub) and I got to not only hit the Coach outlet (I’m still fantasizing about the new bag she got), but we ALSO got to have dinner together. Yup, at a restaurant… just the two of us! It felt like Mothers Day part II.

During dinner we were talking (of course) about relationships and the fine balance, or, give and take you have to do to make them work well. This seems to be especially difficult when it comes to time out with your friends.

Speaking for myself, I get the majority of my social needs filled with clubs, community service and spurts of exercise (tennis and walking). I’m pretty active with our local Unitarian Universalist church and am on two committees there. I also belong to the Sacramento Craft Mafia, and am one of their officers. Between the two, this means I usually have one evening meeting a week to attend that is business, but also social for me. To get to go out with a friend and just relax (without and agenda in front of me), was a rare treat indeed.

When my husband and I were first together however, this was a huge issue for us. He had a lot of friends who all had common interests and would want to indulge in them quite often. I in turn, often felt “stuck at home with the baby.” None of my friends at the time had children, and as we all know, that can be quite difficult. There was resentment and concern over money and all that entails.

Now days, my husband seems to get most of his social need filled through on-line gaming with his friends on the weekends. He’s very respectful about keeping a time limit on it so it doesn’t cut into our “family time” too much. I, in turn, try to do the same. It’s a constant balancing act however.

I do feel strongly that it’s important to be a good social example to your children. For them to see you go out and enjoy your friends, as well as meet your friends and be around you socializing, is as necessary as their ABC’s. Without this example, well… I’ve seen first hand what can happen. It can be very difficult for them to be social creatures. Especially in this technologically heavy age, face-to-face friend time is a must.

I was raised in an extremely social house. My parents had friends from many different cultures, and I was expected to be social as well. In turn, this taught me how to flourish and fit in to almost any social situation. (An invaluable tool). It also broadened my cultural horizons more than any other child I knew at the time. I grew up to have a great appreciation for all races, sexual orientations and cultural traditions different from my own. What a great gift to give your children!

So, if you feel you don’t have the time or energy to be social, or have people over, just think about what a great gift you’re giving your children by exposing them to adult socialization. Suck it up and have some friends over. At least, that’s my advice.

The pictures are of my and my friend at my last craft show (w/ my face painted!) AND Amanda and I at the 5K together