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Like any other kind of stone; kidney stone, gallstone, a milestone can be difficult. Overnight it seems I find myself living with two men rather than my little boy and my husband. I know I’ve talked a little about this realization before here, but this week we had a big milestone.

On Wednesday morning my 14 year old left his school at 5:30AM, along with 300+ other children on a bus trip to Los Angeles. The purpose of this trip is to take the children to the Museum of Tolerance. This year they are learning about the holocaust, slavery and other horrific events in history against humans. While on this three day trip, they are also going to the Getty Center (to enjoy the art), tour UCLA and see a men’s volleyball game there and to the Griffith Observatory. The adult to child ratio is excellent and they are staying in a nice hotel while there (did I mention how much I love Davis public schools?).

To say that my son has had issues with being away from home in the past would be the understatement of the year. The only other over night school trip he went on (in 6^th grade) was a disaster. He cried every night and was so horribly homesick that they wouldn’t even let him call home (go figure!) Even a simple sleepover at a friend’s house often ended in a phone call and me picking him up. Of course these memories came back in flashes as I prepared the two of us for this trip.

It would be noisy, the days are very long, there is a lot to see and do. There are huge groups of kids, plus a very emotional experience at the museum itself. My anxiety would come and go in waves. He did not want me to chaperone (thank goodness for that because I really didn’t want to go!) To make matters worse for him, none of his good friends were going on the trip. Some kids he knows, sure, but none of his close buddies.

Monday I was ok with it, all business and planning. Tuesday I was feeling a little anxious. By Tuesday night, images of on-campus gun men were racing through my mind and I was down-right terrified for my only boy to be so far from home without me. My husband helped calm my paranoia and bring me back down to earth. My son was excited and looking forward to the adventure.

Come Wednesday, I was back to being all-business (and putting on a brave face for my son). His chaperones were fully aware of my son’s special needs (thanks to huge e-mails sent to each of them well in advance by me. As well as two school meetings just on the topic of this trip.) Everyone would be looking out for him. He had his backpack, fidgets, new thick hoodie (so he could pull on his hood if he needed a break), drawing paper, it was going to all be fine (that was my mantra at least).

My wonderful man had also planned some fun evening events with our friends for both Wednesday night and Thursday night. The children couldn’t bring their cell phones, but parents could call their hotel rooms at night to check in. I promised I would check-in each night with our son.

The first night I was very eager to talk to him and see how everything was going. I was pleasantly surprised to hear how happy he sounded. “I LOVE LA!” He yelled into the phone. “The lights are so bright! The weather is great!” Ok, now I’m feeling a little jealous. After a few minutes, I passed him to dad to say goodnight. He misunderstood and hung up. Good thing I talked to him first!

Last night it was dad’s turn to talk first (just in case we had a repeat issue). He was even happier than the first night. He answered the phone hysterically laughing. He and his new friends were watching some show on TV (yes, they have a porn block on), and making up different words to go with it then what they were saying. “The museum wasn’t too upsetting”, he told us between giggles, and for the second night they got to eat all the pizza they wanted. Ohkayyyy, now I’m beginning to worry that he won’t want to come home!

The children come home tonight. I can’t wait to hear more details on the adventures he had… Without me. He didn’t need me. Nothing bad happened. He had a great time! I’m so relieved, thrilled and happy for him. So why do I feel a little empty?

My little baby is growing up... almost GROWN up. Other mothers tell you from the second you have your child, “Enjoy it! They grow so fast!” But when you’re “in the trenches” just making it day by day and doing your best, you honestly don’t realize how true it is. You wake up one day and your little child who needed you SOOO much, is now a man (or a woman). Wow.

Thank goodness I myself am very busy, happy, fulfilled. I genuinely enjoyed my freedom these few days. Seeing our friends in the evening was indeed a rare treat. Yesterday afternoon I hopped on my bike and saw Definitely Maybe, just because I could (it was great by the way).

Our lives are changing and it’s not a bad thing, just strange. I’m still adjusting.