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Teeter Totter ~ Finding a Balance Between Me-Hood and Motherhood

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Teeter Totter
Finding a Balance Between
"Me-Hood" and "Motherhood"

In this blog I'll be covering as wide a variety of subjects as the duties of a real mom in today's culture.

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creatress - > Teeter Totter ~ Finding a Balance Between Me-Hood and Motherhood -> Could You Pleaseâ€¦

Could You Pleaseâ€¦

While at coffee with the other moms yesterday the conversation turned to communication with your partner. Trying to find the balance of giving each other space and time to be individuals, but conveying your needs when they arise, is a challenge we all face.

Of course this doesn’t only come up in a marriage; the same is true with your children, with co-workers, with friends… but the situation does get tricky when it’s with your partner. How do you communicate your needs with your partner?

In the past this has been a huge issue for my husband and me. I wouldn’t communicate my needs. Instead I would expect him to know (because I sure would have if I were him!), then just bottled up my anger and resentment as I was left hanging time and time again. Of course the cork would fly off that bottle a few times a year and my guy would be left confused and floored. Not the best way to communicate. I also sadly have the impulse to “nag” rather than “talk” AND am defensive if I am asked to do something, change something or given reminders. Are you now seeing why I work for myself?

After a lot of practice, talking (and therapy), we have slowly changed our ways. A simple “Hey honey, could you please take out the trash?” Or, “It would be so helpful if you could please stop by the store on the way home and get…” Then he isn’t expected to be a mind-reader. He’s happy to help. I feel loved and less-stressed and thought of. It’s win-win really! So why is it so hard?

I think part of it is the un-seen pressure women (moms) have that we’re supposed to do it all. Take care of the house, the kids, our partners (and often jobs too). Women also are (generally speaking) natural nurturers. We can tell when someone needs help, or what they need, or how to help. We jump in and do it. So to realize that there is a different sex who doesn’t just “know” and actually needs some communication to help takes some realization and practice.

A little communication goes a long way. It’s also a talent that requires a LOT of practice. Trust me though. What you gain will be priceless. You’ll also need all the practice you can get for when your children are teenagers!!!

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