Home
Find us on Facebook
Follow us on Twitter
Teeter Totter ~ Finding a Balance Between Me-Hood and Motherhood
Gender: female Date of Birth: January 01, 1973 Member Since: September 11, 2007 Last Signed In: November 20, 2009 Blog Views: 14722 Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend
Growing That Acorn
Faith Need vs Want A Tight Budget Holiday The Play Priority Disney’s A Christmas Carol – A Mom Review Making it Easy on Yourself When It Rains… You Are Here Halloween with Older Kids September 07 October 07 November 07 December 07 January 08 February 08 March 08 April 08 May 08 June 08 July 08 August 08 September 08 October 08 November 08 December 08 January 09 February 09 March 09 April 09 May 09 June 09 July 09 August 09 September 09 October 09 November 09 Teeter Totter Finding a Balance Between "Me-Hood" and "Motherhood" In this blog I'll be covering as wide a variety of subjects as the duties of a real mom in today's culture. From raising special needs children, family vacations, marriage, relationships, sex, cooking, local to-do, school (both for you and the children), working, hiring a daycare provider, arts and crafts, decorating, holidays, to well... EVERYTHING! No holding back. 
RSS 2.0    |
|
|
Mourning The Passage Of Baby-Hood
Back when my son was three I really wanted another baby. REALLY REALLY wanted another one. My husband however did not. After much discussion, we came to a compromise. It takes six months for a vasectomy to become affective. I would have those six months to get pregnant, or not. If not, that would be it. No more talk of babies. It didn’t happen and I was pretty sad about it at the time. I had been hanging onto all the expensive baby things just in case (stroller, portable crib, changing table, etc…). After the six months when it was obvious we would have an only child, I gathered them all together, took a picture and sent them off to a consignment shop. I can’t tell you how glad I was to take that photo. There was some sense of closure about it that I really needed. All the symbols of baby-hood altogether to say “good bye.” Fast forward eleven years. I was laying in bed last night thinking of our son. How he is now 100% a teenager. He isn’t very much like the little boy I used to have at all. I still dream about that little boy. In an odd way I feel like he’s gone. He’s gone and has been replaced by this young man who I struggle every day to get to know. This guy who is very different from my little boy. I feel like it’s a big change. Bigger than most people realize when your child enters that time of life. They are like newborns all over again. But newborns who don’t want parenting (but need it just as much). All raw nerves and hormones. Everything is too loud, too strong, too much. They have new energy, interests, social groups, work to do and things to learn. It’s a drastic change that quite literally (at least for us) happened overnight. I miss my little boy. I also am excited for my little-man. Like any relationship, I work hard to get to know him. What does he like? Not like? Eat? Enjoy? Stress about? Want in life? Think about? Since these change daily, I constantly try to talk to him. Luckily he enjoys talking with me (for now), I feel pretty up-to-date. It is an odd feeling however. Like my boy has been replaced. I feel a need to mourn that little one, just like I did the baby items that would never see another baby. I am very proud of my son and feel he is blossoming into a wonderful guy. I’m also proud of the job his father and I are doing raising him. When I look back, I’m glad we didn’t have another child. At the time we didn’t realize our son was on the Autism Spectrum and I know our son would have missed out on a lot of vital attention, money and therapy if we had a second child. But the heart isn’t always logical. The same goes for this time in our lives. My heart mourns the passage of his little childhood, even though I’m proud and pleased to see him transition into young adult. 7 comments from 5 users
1
posted by
hmoeckli
on Dec 27, 2007 at 10:33 PM
I have always thought that I wanted two kids, but now that I have one, I'm split. My heart is strongly telling me to have another child, but logically, I wonder if it's a good idea. It's going to be awhile before we are stable money-wise enough for another kid (if we ever are), and it really is fantastic how much time and attention we are able to give our little one. Thank you for your post. posted by
Vicky
on Dec 28, 2007 at 09:14 AM
I have a two year old and am pregnant with #2. I look at my 2 year old every day and realize that she's not going to be this way forever. I try to hug her as much as possible. Life is so busy, time flies, we sometimes forget the simple things. Thanks for posting!
posted by
girl4agreenerworld
on Dec 28, 2007 at 10:34 AM
I have two children. My son just turned 14...so I know exactly what you are talking about. I have a wall of photos (that I love to look at), that has a lot of pictures when my kids were younger. I, too, miss those days, but it is also exciting to be able to talk to my son about more mature topics and get his point of view. I think every stage has something great to offer. I am just going to try to drink it all up, because before you know it...he'll be off to college!
As far as a baby fix...I still have that with my 12 year old daughter who has Cerebral Palsy. She doesn't walk, talk, sit up, speak, eat, etc. on her own. She requires constant care. She is the sweetest child and I love her dearly. In some ways my son is like an only child. When my kids were younger, it was easier for them to interact. Now that my son is a teenager, I find myself reminding him to acknowledge his sister, to read her a book or whatever. My daughter loves her brother. It's funny I do all the work, but he is the one that brings the biggest smiles. posted by
creatress
on Dec 28, 2007 at 10:36 AM
Glad you guys liked it!Hmoeckli, What your heart tells you isn't always what's best for you and your family. I always joke that if it wasn't for that irrational feeling of wanting babies though, no one would ever have kids! Did you ever hear someone say " I just have too much sleep, money, free time, time with my partner... I know! Let's have a kid!!" All you can do is what's best for your family. I still get the baby urge (my heart and hormones), but am REALLY glad we only had one. So is my son by the way! posted by
creatress
on Dec 29, 2007 at 11:41 AM
Awww, thanks girl4agreenerworld , I'm glad you shared that with me. You have the best attitude. I LOVE it!
posted by
ktja
on Dec 30, 2007 at 12:25 AM
I enjoyed reading your post. I'm trying to picture my kids as teenagers or even tweens and I just can't see it. Jakey will be four in February and baby girl is almost 6 months. Jakey is showing more signs of independence every day. "Let me do it" is a common reponse from him. I'm happy that he's reaching more milestones, but it's also a reminder that he's growing so fast. He said he's going to marry Abi from his preschool class when he's five, but unfortunately I'm not invited to the wedding. Hopefully he'll change his mind and want me there in about 20+ years! posted by
creatress
on Dec 30, 2007 at 06:41 PM
HAhah, that's a cute story. My son used to always want to marry me and didn't understand why he couldn't. So cute. He out-grew that pretty fast though.
1
|