Tell A Friend Sponsored by Sutter Health

Teeter Totter ~ Finding a Balance Between Me-Hood and Motherhood

About creatress


Gender:
female
Date of Birth:
January 01, 1973
Member Since:
September 11, 2007
Last Signed In:
November 20, 2009
Blog Views:
14722
Send a Message Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend

Previous Posts
Growing That Acorn
Faith
Need vs Want
A Tight Budget Holiday
The Play Priority
Disney’s A Christmas Carol – A Mom Review
Making it Easy on Yourself
When It Rains…
You Are Here
Halloween with Older Kids
Archives
September 07
October 07
November 07
December 07
January 08
February 08
March 08
April 08
May 08
June 08
July 08
August 08
September 08
October 08
November 08
December 08
January 09
February 09
March 09
April 09
May 09
June 09
July 09
August 09
September 09
October 09
November 09
Teeter Totter
Finding a Balance Between
"Me-Hood" and "Motherhood"

In this blog I'll be covering as wide a variety of subjects as the duties of a real mom in today's culture.


From raising special needs children, family vacations, marriage, relationships, sex, cooking, local to-do, school (both for you and the children), working, hiring a daycare provider, arts and crafts, decorating, holidays, to well... EVERYTHING!

No holding back.
Subscribe!
RSS 2.0 feed RSS 2.0
Add to My Yahoo
Add to My Google
Add to Bloglines
Add to My AOL
Money Fights

Did you know that the #1 topic couples fight about is money? Anyone in a relationship most likely isn’t very shocked by that little statistic. Over the last 17 years, my husband and I have had more than our share of arguments caused by money. The thing I find most interesting is that no matter how much you have, you’ll still fight about it! Maybe less often, but the topic will still raise its ugly head once and awhile.

 

Can’t you just picture a rich couple going at it? “Was that private jet really necessary for your girl’s night out in Paris? Why couldn’t you all just fly first class like the rest of us? What!? Is first class not good enough for you anymore?” “Honey, I told you before… It was cheaper for us all to hire a private jet rather than us all booking first class tickets! Once you add in the cost to check our purchases on the trip home, we saved a bundle! You’re just being cheap, as always!” Hahaha.

 

Most of the time we’ll fight over “fun money” (I think he spends too much of it) and the budget, (he thinks I can’t stick to one.) Sound familiar? I must confess that I always also get a little defensive when talking about money with my man as I don’t make nearly as much as he does (like 99% less.)

 

Through the years we’ve both grown and learned some very important tips to keeping harmony in the house, especially when it comes to money. I hope they can help you ward off some blow-ups of your own.

 

~Go over any and all budgets TOGETHER. You both need to know what’s going out and what’s coming in (a big mistake couples make is putting 1 person in charge of this part.)

 

~Talk about your future financial plans together. I’m not just talking about college. Agree on what to spend for holidays, and add in money to save for special trips together. Make a list of these and keep it where you can see it. I like to break it up into “Now,” “Soon” and “Future.” This will help you both save money on impulse spending and know what your financial priorities are.

 

~If you’re upset about something he said/did/spent, don’t “let it go.” It will just raise its ugly head in the future and have grown. Address it then and there, but do it in a way that doesn’t put him on his automatic guard.

 

~Be respectful. Listen to each other. Compromise. If he wants to spend $120 renting a pay-per-view fight and you really want to get your hair dyed at the salon, but can’t afford both, maybe you can work it out? Could he go in with some friends on the fight and each pay 1/4 th of the fee? Could you go to a beauty college for the dye job instead of an expensive salon? There’s always a solution to every problem. Communication is the key.

 

~Don’t talk about money in the bedroom. Seriously! Keep it in a neutral area. Keep the bedroom as a stress-free sanctuary for you both where no “discussions” take place that could take a turn or cause tension.

 

~Bring the family into the discussion. We’ve gone over our “family budget” with our son since he was about 10 years old. This is the part of the budget we decide on as a family. This will not only help teach your children about budgeting and finances early, but will give them a feeling of control and power in the decision making. Would they rather go see the new movie that just came out, or go out to dinner? Congratulations! You just taught your child to prioritize financially!

(Check out mancubquotes on Twitter.com)

Topics: money, fight, marriage, finances, compromise, tips, talk, argue, creatress
posted by creatress on Wednesday, September 9, 2009 at 08:45 AM
Report a Violation
6 comments from 4 users

1

posted by eileenjane on Sep 9, 2009 at 12:28 PM
Those are great tips! Especially the "be respectful" and "listen" one. I think that makes all the difference.
posted by creatress on Sep 9, 2009 at 03:47 PM
Glad you liked them! Thanks for the comment.
posted by buddhabear on Sep 9, 2009 at 05:09 PM
lol. You hit it right on the money! Nice!
posted by creatress on Sep 9, 2009 at 05:25 PM
Good pun there. "On the money!" Hahah.
posted by maryleo9 on Sep 17, 2009 at 06:19 PM

Glad to see my husband and I have been practicing all those things. Since we're currently dealing with a 15% reduction in his pay - and I'm a SAHM - we've been trying to pay more attention to the bills. Unfortunately two categories got way out of control for about 6 months because I just didn't seem to have the time to keep up the budget for that time period. I kept putting off itemizing our grocery receipts as to what was grocery, miscellaneous, and other categories and he wasn't tracking how much he was withdrawing in cash for his allowance every month. We both get an equal allowance but suddenly he was spending 2-3 times his alloted amount. Add that to the grocery problem where I was spending about 1.5 times the budget and we had a problem.

Anyhow, long story shorter, I finally sat down and did the money stuff again, was shocked, we discussed it and we are now both working on it. With a few overtime shifts we should make it through until his pay cut is gone and things are back to normal...fingers are crossed the state doesn't pass any more cuts for his job between now and then!

posted by creatress on Sep 17, 2009 at 06:50 PM
Thanks for sharing! We're currently going through a 1 year furlough and of course, saving money is on my mind. Glad you guys were able to find the hole in the boat and plug it up quick!
1

Leave a Comment
Ground Rules for posting comments:
  • No profanity or personal attacks.
  • Please comment on the subject of the blog post itself.
If you do not follow these rules we will remove your comment. Please keep it civil.

To protect users from spam, we need you to prove that you're a human being.
Please enter the text from the image at left.
Make my comment anonymous Show my user name with my comment