Teeter Totter ~ Finding a Balance Between Me-Hood and Motherhood
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Gender: female Date of Birth: January 01, 1973 Member Since: September 11, 2007 Last Signed In: November 20, 2009 Blog Views: 14722 Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend
Growing That Acorn
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Money Fights
Did you know that the #1 topic couples fight about is money? Anyone in a relationship most likely isn’t very shocked by that little statistic. Over the last 17 years, my husband and I have had more than our share of arguments caused by money. The thing I find most interesting is that no matter how much you have, you’ll still fight about it! Maybe less often, but the topic will still raise its ugly head once and awhile. Can’t you just picture a rich couple going at it? “Was that private jet really necessary for your girl’s night out in Paris? Why couldn’t you all just fly first class like the rest of us? What!? Is first class not good enough for you anymore?” “Honey, I told you before… It was cheaper for us all to hire a private jet rather than us all booking first class tickets! Once you add in the cost to check our purchases on the trip home, we saved a bundle! You’re just being cheap, as always!” Hahaha. Most of the time we’ll fight over “fun money” (I think he spends too much of it) and the budget, (he thinks I can’t stick to one.) Sound familiar? I must confess that I always also get a little defensive when talking about money with my man as I don’t make nearly as much as he does (like 99% less.) Through the years we’ve both grown and learned some very important tips to keeping harmony in the house, especially when it comes to money. I hope they can help you ward off some blow-ups of your own. ~Go over any and all budgets TOGETHER. You both need to know what’s going out and what’s coming in (a big mistake couples make is putting 1 person in charge of this part.) ~Talk about your future financial plans together. I’m not just talking about college. Agree on what to spend for holidays, and add in money to save for special trips together. Make a list of these and keep it where you can see it. I like to break it up into “Now,” “Soon” and “Future.” This will help you both save money on impulse spending and know what your financial priorities are. ~If you’re upset about something he said/did/spent, don’t “let it go.” It will just raise its ugly head in the future and have grown. Address it then and there, but do it in a way that doesn’t put him on his automatic guard. ~Be respectful. Listen to each other. Compromise. If he wants to spend $120 renting a pay-per-view fight and you really want to get your hair dyed at the salon, but can’t afford both, maybe you can work it out? Could he go in with some friends on the fight and each pay 1/4 th of the fee? Could you go to a beauty college for the dye job instead of an expensive salon? There’s always a solution to every problem. Communication is the key. ~Don’t talk about money in the bedroom. Seriously! Keep it in a neutral area. Keep the bedroom as a stress-free sanctuary for you both where no “discussions” take place that could take a turn or cause tension. ~Bring the family into the discussion. We’ve gone over our “family budget” with our son since he was about 10 years old. This is the part of the budget we decide on as a family. This will not only help teach your children about budgeting and finances early, but will give them a feeling of control and power in the decision making. Would they rather go see the new movie that just came out, or go out to dinner? Congratulations! You just taught your child to prioritize financially! 6 comments from 4 users
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posted by
eileenjane
on Sep 9, 2009 at 12:28 PM
Those are great tips! Especially the "be respectful" and "listen" one. I think that makes all the difference.
posted by
creatress
on Sep 9, 2009 at 03:47 PM
posted by
buddhabear
on Sep 9, 2009 at 05:09 PM
posted by
creatress
on Sep 9, 2009 at 05:25 PM
posted by
maryleo9
on Sep 17, 2009 at 06:19 PM
Glad to see my husband and I have been practicing all those things. Since we're currently dealing with a 15% reduction in his pay - and I'm a SAHM - we've been trying to pay more attention to the bills. Unfortunately two categories got way out of control for about 6 months because I just didn't seem to have the time to keep up the budget for that time period. I kept putting off itemizing our grocery receipts as to what was grocery, miscellaneous, and other categories and he wasn't tracking how much he was withdrawing in cash for his allowance every month. We both get an equal allowance but suddenly he was spending 2-3 times his alloted amount. Add that to the grocery problem where I was spending about 1.5 times the budget and we had a problem. Anyhow, long story shorter, I finally sat down and did the money stuff again, was shocked, we discussed it and we are now both working on it. With a few overtime shifts we should make it through until his pay cut is gone and things are back to normal...fingers are crossed the state doesn't pass any more cuts for his job between now and then! posted by
creatress
on Sep 17, 2009 at 06:50 PM
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