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Teeter Totter ~ Finding a Balance Between Me-Hood and Motherhood

About creatress


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Teeter Totter
Finding a Balance Between
"Me-Hood" and "Motherhood"

In this blog I'll be covering as wide a variety of subjects as the duties of a real mom in today's culture.


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TMI?

Is there such a thing as too much information when it comes to a disability? I still don’t think so, but it’s something my subconscious has been mulling over these last few days. I’ve really enjoyed this summer with my son. His moods have been much more enjoyable than last year and I think we kept a nice balance between things he needed to do vs. things I wanted him to do. I have noticed however that he seems to be “lower functioning” than in the past. My interpretation of his level or “normalcy” (I really hate that word) could come from a few places.

 

One is that his communication with what he needs and wants is actually improving. Maybe in the past I didn’t know when he was “socialed out” as well as I do now because he wasn’t telling me verbally. Maybe I noticed him mentally and socially “shutting down” before, but didn’t know why. I consider it a wonderful thing that he can speak up about his needs and communicate them with those around him. Even if the people he’s communicating with don’t always understand (or misinterpret it as being rude.) This summer he’ll say “I’m done and need to leave,” or “I need some alone time.” All really great strides, but could have him come across as lower functioning.

 

Another thought of mine is that I’m more educated in the field of Autism now. Even if he isn’t verbalizing what’s going on internally, or what he needs, I know enough and have enough intuition to usually be able to tell. On one hand this is good because I can help him problem solve a situation and guide him in verbal communication. On the other hand I really do think it brings his disability more to the forefront of my mind. I for sure notice his lack of eye contact more than I have in the past. Same with his conversation skills.

 

Yes, he’s come such a long way, but this summer really made me think that he still is far from your “typical” teen. No, that’s not a bad thing, but yes, it does make life in general harder on him. Throw in the nearly constant stutter and it’s easy to see the challenges he’s going to have that are indeed life-long. All I can do is be here for him, help give him the tools to help himself and make sure his self-confidence stays as in-tact as possible. AND I’m planning on taking him to the see new movie “Adam,” a romantic comedy about a man with Aspergers Syndrome. The movie trailer looked wonderful.

4 comments from 3 users

1

posted by eileenjane on Aug 20, 2009 at 09:31 AM
I think it's possible to have so much information about something that you see signs of it everywhere. I remember when a friend finally decided to deal with a substance abuse problem and thought everyone was an addict for a while.

As a mom, though, I think you do need to be especially tuned in to the little nuances of your child's issues, whether your child has a disability or not. That's how problems get solved when they're still little problems and not big ones yet!
posted by creatress on Aug 20, 2009 at 09:35 AM

Those are all really good points eileenjane (and your example is really dead-on.) I know a lot of people/parents who research ASD for their kids and end up dead positive that they have it too (as they look me in the eye and initiate the whole conversation! Hah!)

Mommy-sense is indeed a vital part of parenting. You're so right.

posted by patiencengrace on Aug 21, 2009 at 12:33 PM

Oh, no!  I really don't think it would be possible to know too much about a disability.   Maybe you've hit a point of saturation of incoming information and are ready for a time to let it all soak in and just observe your son awhile.    Besides, think of what his life would be like if you hadn't been such an amazing, fierce advocate for him???

 

posted by creatress on Aug 21, 2009 at 05:31 PM
You're the sweetest. Thanks so much for sharing such kind words.
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