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Teeter Totter ~ Finding a Balance Between Me-Hood and Motherhood
Gender: female Date of Birth: January 01, 1973 Member Since: September 11, 2007 Last Signed In: November 20, 2009 Blog Views: 14722 Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend
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A Miracle!
A miracle happened in our house this week and I just had to share. Anyone with older children (well, past the age of 3) may be aware of how quickly your job description goes from “mother” to “nagger.” My son (it seemed to me) couldn’t lift a finger unless I told him to. Every day was the same; “Did you feed the dogs yet? FEED THEM!” or “Did you take out the trash like I asked you to three hours ago? TAKE IT OUT!” Why am I paying him allowance again? Well, our summer started off this exact way; “Feed the dogs, take out trash, put your clothes away, clean up your crud…” It only took two days for me to want to sell him to the gypsies and feed the dogs myself. Something HAD to be done. “Look” I said to my 15 ½ year old man-cub, “Something HAS GOT TO CHANGE! I cannot, will-not go through summer nagging at you like this, reminding you of every little thing you have to do every day! I have my own stuff to do too and you need to suck it up and be more responsible.” I told my darling man-cub that he had three choices. 1) A paper “to-do” list that he would write out every day the night before, then DO IT! 2) Program everyday reminders (like feed the dogs) into his cell phone’s “task” list. Or 3) I would teach him how to use the calendar feature on his e-mail account that would send him daily e-mail reminders. He picked 2. After a few kinks (like setting the musical reminder at 8AM rather than 10AM), the cell phone reminders worked like a charm. Then… yesterday, a breakthrough! Before I got out of the shower in the morning the dogs were fed and trash and recycling had been taken out! TAH DAH! You bet I praised him to the high heavens. Now, I know it won’t be perfect. I’m sure I’ll still find myself nagging, but I do consider this a huge step in the right direction. Learning to manage your time and stay on top of your own tasks is difficult for any teenager (heck, most adults can’t even do it!) So for my special needs kid to begin to make progress in this area… well… I’m thrilled! 7 comments from 3 users
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posted by
patiencengrace
on Jun 24, 2009 at 03:14 PM
That is so wonderful! Teens are such a great mix of little kid one minute, then responsible adult the next. Amazing to watch... Congratulations.
posted by
creatress
on Jun 24, 2009 at 05:11 PM
That is SOO true patiencengrace. Just today I could tell he needed some hugs and back scratches. Awwww. Thanks for the congrats!
posted by
hmoeckli
on Jun 24, 2009 at 05:47 PM
That's great! One of the best gift in the world is when teenagers figure out how to handle their responsibilities on their own (with guidance, of course.) Bravo!
posted by
creatress
on Jun 24, 2009 at 05:54 PM
Best late Mother's Day gift I could ask for! I was seriously going to lose it if I had to remind him one more day about his responsibilities!
posted by
hmoeckli
on Jun 25, 2009 at 05:08 PM
I have many similar experiences with my teenage students. My favorite is when an astute student notices I'm going to lose my head over answering the same flipping questions for the same three flipping students, takes over, and helps their peers out. Awesome. :)
posted by
patiencengrace
on Jun 26, 2009 at 09:32 AM
When our daughter was a baby we had a calendar with stickers for the various Firsts - first tooth, first steps, first haircut, etc. Too bad they don't have calendars and stickers for later years when they do things on their own for the first time! Taking out garbage, sweeping, dusting, cleaning bathroom... It's hard to find out if they've done their chores without sounding like we're nagging. Sometimes I'll just say, "Thanks for sweeping today." Not having any idea if she did, but assuming that if she didn't, being thanked will provide the reminder (and guilt?) to do it. Ha! For the absolute have-to-do chores sometimes I'll tell her "In 10 minutes we'll ..." (insert chore like pick up the dog poo.) In 10 minutes I tell her "Let's go." and we go out to the yard together with bucket and poo-scoop. While we're out there wandering around the yard it's a good time to talk together, or more specifically, to listen to her. posted by
creatress
on Jun 26, 2009 at 09:50 AM
I love your suggestions patiencengrace. I'll have to try that first one... "Thanks for feeding the dogs!" He's doing so much better this week than last week. I'm SOOO HAPPY!
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