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Teeter Totter ~ Finding a Balance Between Me-Hood and Motherhood
Gender: female Date of Birth: January 01, 1973 Member Since: September 11, 2007 Last Signed In: March 18, 2010 Blog Views: 16546 Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend
Running with Lurch
YES! Your Teen’s Crazy! Picture Perfect Combating Stress Mom’s Gone Wild! RIP Big Blue Whale Lowjack Your Kid? P’s and Q’s Intervention vs Teamwork Sweet and Healthy September 07 October 07 November 07 December 07 January 08 February 08 March 08 April 08 May 08 June 08 July 08 August 08 September 08 October 08 November 08 December 08 January 09 February 09 March 09 April 09 May 09 June 09 July 09 August 09 September 09 October 09 November 09 December 09 January 10 February 10 March 10 Teeter Totter Finding a Balance Between "Me-Hood" and "Motherhood" In this blog I'll be covering as wide a variety of subjects as the duties of a real mom in today's culture. From raising special needs children, family vacations, marriage, relationships, sex, cooking, local to-do, school (both for you and the children), working, hiring a daycare provider, arts and crafts, decorating, holidays, to well... EVERYTHING! No holding back. 
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Little Man-Cub
Last night was a 9th grade event at man-cub’s school. In Davis, Jr High is 7th-9th grade and High School is 10th-12th. This means that he was “big man on campus” for a whole year. What a big campus it was too! I ran into an old mom-friend I hadn’t seen in a while. She told me “It’s been a long time since I saw man-cub.” My immediate un-thinking reply was, “Me too! I lost him a few years ago to be replaced by a moody man I don’t know!” At the time, I assumed it was the stress of the evening and the fact that I really don’t enjoy those large school events. Upon reflection however, I think it was one of those rare moments where you just speak the truth; Out loud and proud. Where even your ears don’t recognize that you’re the one who just said what you said. Truth is, I miss my son. I miss him terribly! He was my sweet little-guy, a mama’s boy from the day he was born. Of course I don’t want my son to regress into this little boy, and yes, I’m thrilled at the man he’s growing into… but he’s just that… a man. My little man-cub isn’t here anymore, and it really does feel like a loss. Like I just woke up one day and the baby I’d adored and nurtured was replaced by someone else. Someone tall, smart, self sufficient (some days), social, smelly and who doesn’t NEED me like little man-cub did. I always said I’d be one of those parents who sang all the way home from dropping her kid off at college and who would re-configure his room the second he was out of the house (no living shrine here!) Now I’m not so sure. Of course I have my own life, and don’t chase my son around the house trying to wipe his nose for him, but I feel a sense of loss that surprises me. I miss who he WAS and I didn’t expect that to happen. 5 comments from 3 users
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posted by
patiencengrace
on Jun 10, 2009 at 10:24 AM
Sometimes do you just gaze at him and wonder how this man went from a tiny armful to a man? My daughter graduated from high school last weekend. For her party I did a slide show of her life, from the time she fit on my lap from hip to knee to now that she's a 5'10" woman. From training wheels to driving a car and wishing for a big diesel truck of her own to pull a horse trailer. From riding on Daddy's shoulders to wearing stiletto heels. A woman. A wonderful, gloriously gracious woman. When did this happen? (Not that I changed a bit in those photos....) posted by
creatress
on Jun 10, 2009 at 10:46 AM
Doesn't it feel like it just happened overnight? I often think of him on my lap from "hip to knee" like you said. Each foot fitting in my hand. Now he's a size 13 shoe. Wow! Congratulations to your daughter. It's a big deal to gradute HS and move on to an adult life. How are you feeling? Sounds like we're in a similar boat.
posted by
hmoeckli
on Jun 10, 2009 at 05:45 PM
I see kids grow up every year in my job as a high school teacher, and it's so exciting and so emotional at the same time. I know when Em grows up, I'm going to be a big pile of mush.Congrats on reaching these huge milestones in your children's lives! :) posted by
patiencengrace
on Jun 11, 2009 at 08:46 AM
It seems like yesterday that I was despairing she would ever learn how to put her underwear on instead of often having the waist bagging around one leg and a leg hole tightly around her toddler waist... I'm excited that it's all turning out just like it's supposed to. We raise them carefully, then they step away to live their own separate lives. People tell me, "Mom, let go!" assuming I want to hang on to her longer. But she's going to college just an hour and-a-half away so she gets to be out of the house, but close enough to run home for weekends when she wants. She's planning to earn a four year nursing degree - hoping to be a Pediatric ICU nurse. Most of mothers' lives are spent doing what our children need or want and I've almost forgotten what kind of things I like to do. So, I'll definitely be crying when we drive away from the college campus but I'm looking forward to this next chapter of life. posted by
creatress
on Jun 11, 2009 at 08:58 AM
patiencengrace, I think that's where I've been really lucky and really careful. Having a special needs kid has made me even more aware that if I allow it, motherhood could 100% take over who I am. I've seen it happen to many women, and I swore it wouldn't happen to me. So far.... so good! Not that I'm saying that's what you did (don't get me wrong.) But I didn't want that sudden shock of "He's gone... now what?" Like plunging into ice water. I don't do well with shock (had enough for 1 life thanks) and wanted a smoother transition for myself. Plus there was a lot I gave up, or didn't get to do having a child younger in life, so now the older he gets, the more I get to go back and do those things. Good luck to your daughter! What an amazing career choice. She must have a huge heart. hmoeckli, you make a good point about watching kids grow from the teachers desk. Just seeing my son's yearbook and how much they grew from the beginning of the year, to now, is really amazing. Your kids are lucky to have you, even if it's only for 1 year.
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