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Teeter Totter ~ Finding a Balance Between Me-Hood and Motherhood

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Teeter Totter
Finding a Balance Between
"Me-Hood" and "Motherhood"

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A Rose by Any Other Name

(warning-it's a long one!)

Over Spring Break I attended a lecture on Autism at the Sacramento, CA Sutter Hospital lead by Dr. Michael Chez. I had already been reading a wonderful book about college and students with Autism and Aspergers Syndrome and was eager to hear what the medical community had to say about the advances in Autism Research.

 

When my son was around 5years old we had been told that he was on the “Autism Spectrum.” That he had either PDD-NOS or Aspergers Syndrome. Both the school district, Occupational Therapists, Speech Therapists and the Pediatric Neurologist (who spent 10minutes with us) agreed on this. Since then any Psychological evaluations done for the benefit of getting my son services were conducted through the school. We only went “outside the system” for speech, sensory and occupational therapy. We trusted the school to know what was best academically. After hearing Dr. Chez speak and reading my book on college planning, I decided it was time to have my son re-assessed to better gather a clear plan for his future.

 

Our request to take him to Dr. Chez and his team at Sutter was denied, but our insurance did cover another wonderful specialist who was also a pediatric neurologist. I gathered my paperwork, typed up a diagnostic summary of my son’s 10years in the system and crossed our fingers. She was wonderful and really took her time with us. She spoke both to my son and to myself for quite a while.

About halfway in the appointment she turns to me and says “I have no doubt that your son is Autistic. Not Aspergers, not PDD-NOS, but Autistic.” I was pretty shocked. “Why is that?” I ask. “He has too many areas affected to have Aspergers Syndrome and his use of language is affected. His symptoms are too severe for PDD-NOS to be considered. That is only a diagnosis if the child doesn’t fit the Autism criteria, and your son fits it. There is no doubt in my mind that he’s High Functioning Autistic.” Both my son and I were floored.

 

The Dr. left the room to make some copies and I turn to my “man-cub.” “This doesn’t change anything” I tell him, “You are still the same person! It’s just a word.” “I know!” (with a teenage eye roll that tells me he isn’t phased in the slightest.) A rose by any other name still smells as sweet. This is true. Later that night I tell him (as he adores Lord of the Rings and I know this will sink in), “Was Aragorn still Aragorn when he was called Strider?” “YES!” said my son. “Was he still Aragorn when he was the King of Gondor?” “YES!” said my son. “Did those names change him or who he was in any way?” “NO!” (he’s got the picture.) “The same goes for you” I explain. "This is just a word to help your teachers know what you’re good at and what you need help with. It will help you with college and in your future. You don’t have to tell anyone you don’t want to and it doesn’t change who you are.” (I think he got the point.)

 

Was I saying all of this to make him feel better? Or myself? Even though I don’t like to admit it, I was surprised. Of course it doesn’t change one thing about him, but is that really how others see him? Do I just know him so well and love him so much that I don’t see him the way other people do? Here was a woman, a trained professional highly regarded in her field. She’s seen countless children all across the Autism Spectrum (from non-verbal full Autistic to “eccentric” Aspergers) and she could tell so fast that he was Autistic. Is that what other people see too?

 

Our next step is a 4hour long appointment with a Pediatric Developmental Psychologist (say that 10x fast) for a full cognitive assessment. This will give us very specific areas of strengths and weaknesses to include in his school accommodations, and just to know for all our benefit. He also has a lot of sleeping issues that we’re trying to address (in an all-natural way.) If he doesn't respond to the natural treatments, he’ll have to go in for a EEG (sleepover study.)

 

I hope all of this information is more of a tool than a weight on his back. I hope he can learn to self advocate better and educate others. He’s not a label, he’s my unique, wonderful, strong, amazing kid. He’s not Autism, or Aspergers, those are just names for things he has a hard time with. He’s a unique wonder and I’m so happy he’s my son.

 

April is Autism Awareness month. If I haven’t bored you by now and you’re interested, here are some latest facts, statistics and information on Autism. (And for the record, I hate the stupid rainbow puzzle ribbon. UGH! My kid is not a puzzle to be put back into place. Can't they just pick a color like every other group?)

 

Autism is a Neurodevelopmental Disability / Neurobiological Disorder: There are variations in the way the brain develops. Nuro=brain/nervous system. Biological=affecting the organism.

 

-1:100 boys will be diagnosed with a form of Autism

-1:142 children will be diagnosed

-The ratio for Autism is 81.83% Male and 18.17% Female.

-22 genes are affected by autism and it may be hereditary.

-50% of children with Autism have some form of epilepsy

  (mostly at night).

-There is a lag between hearing/seeing and responding

  (so give them extra time to process if you’re talking to someone on the spectrum!)

-They often have Autoimmune Inflammation

  (food allergies, low immune system, etc…)

 

The shocking increase in Autism started in the early 80’s. From 1987-1998 Autism Diagnosis rose 273%. Other disabilities only saw a 35%-49% rise. Double checking the diagnosis through auditing and a lack of decrease in other disabilities discounts the “over-diagnosing” theory.

 

From 1987-2002 there was a 32% increase in “home living” situations for Autistic individuals and a 22% decrease in community care facilities. (YAY!)

 

Asian and Hispanic groups have had the highest increase of Autism over the last 15years (relative to the population.)  

 

Impaired areas are: verbal and non-verbal communication (including, odd or peculiar language or very advanced language for their age), social interaction difficulties (appropriate conversation, conversation initiation, understanding social rules), abnormal patterns of behavior (intense interests and hobbies, compulsive physical releases like rocking, finger flicking (aka: stimming).

 

Parts of the brain affected: Hippocampus & Amygdala (emotional regulation) Cerebellum (motor coordination) Brain Stem (brain/body communication) Neocortex – Frontal Lobe (executive function) Temporal Lobe (auditory processing.) Mirror Neurons (learning to do by watching) system dysfunction.

Social Cognitive Differences: Perspective taking skills (what others might know, or not know), Differences in Social Motivations (brain regions respond the same to both people and objects. The “pleasurable” properties are not the same when socializing.)

Lack of “Central Coherence” (The inability to draw together diverse information to come to a conclusion.)

 

*Sources – M.I.N.D Institute & S.T.A.N.D clinic. Both Sacramento, CA

2003-2009

8 comments from 5 users

1

posted by patiencengrace on Apr 28, 2009 at 10:54 AM
Very, very interesting!    I like that idea that the information is a tool instead of a weight.    It's kind of like the You Are Here star on his life map was moved to a different spot.  Same map, just a different starting point on the map.
posted by creatress on Apr 28, 2009 at 01:12 PM
That's a VERY good way to put it patiencengrace. Thanks for actually reading the blog. I know it was pretty long! :)
posted by AmandaS on Apr 28, 2009 at 01:56 PM
What a crazy and frustrating situation. ARGH! You guys might also be getting caught up in the better treatment and diagnosis of spectrum disorders...that is if the science and research was where it is now 10 years ago, you guys may have gotten different information earlier. Still though...poor Man-Cub...so much to try and process for a teen ager.
posted by creatress on Apr 28, 2009 at 02:05 PM

It was a lot to process for him, I agree. Even though I do wish things were better when he was younger, I'm not convinced we would be at a different point right now if they were. We'd have more money, yeah... but he's come such a long way and had wonderful invention services (mostly private pay.) He has great self-esteem and is handeling being a teenager really well in general.

It's facinating to me just how fast and how far Autism research and study has come. It gives me hope for my future grandchildren (if I ever have any and if they aren't adopted!)

Thanks for the comment and for reading my l-o-n-g blog!

posted by hmoeckli on Apr 28, 2009 at 09:33 PM
Thank you so much for sharing your and your son's story. Your devotion to him is incredibly touching. I just love the Aragorn thing.

Just in the 8 years I've been teaching, so much has changed with Autism and other spectrum disorders. It is all at once fascinating and overwhelming. I know that our grandchildren will not think of these disorders in the same way.
posted by creatress on Apr 29, 2009 at 08:14 AM

Thanks for the sweet words hmoeckli. I can only imagine how difficult it is to be a teacher in a full inclusion climate. With more and more kids being identified and getting IEP's, plus budget and resource cuts, that just puts more and more stress and expectations on the teachers. It isn't fair!

I'm curious to see if they ever pin-point an actual cause. I personally suspect it's something chromosonal plus an environmental catalist.

posted by wifemotherdaughtersister on Apr 29, 2009 at 02:15 PM
wow!  labels are a really hard thing to digest, especially when they come from someone on the outside.  i hope he, you and your hub are doing alright.  i admire your proactive approach that only a mom can pull off. 

ps. not that i have any weight in my opinion, but i've always wondered about the connection of the environment and autism, cancer, asthma, etc.  i kind of think, given what we are doing to our world, how can we NOT have reactions?
posted by creatress on Apr 29, 2009 at 03:45 PM

Hey wifemotherdaughtersister. I'm bouncing between "It's just a word! It means nothing!" And "WOW! My kid is Autistic!" For some reason there was a difference in my mind between Aspergers Syndrome, PDD-NOS and Autism. Which is really silly, but I guess you can't pick your feelings about things.

On the plus side, I found out we can get a "Disablility Pass" for the National Park (that gets us 1/2 off any park or natural preserve admission, parking, camping, etc... ) My in-laws are taking man-cub to Wyoming this summer, so that will come in handy! I'm trying to keep optimistic and look at the bright side (and discounts.) Hahah.

1

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