HomeMom on the Run
Member Since: September 10, 2007 Last Signed In: July 21, 2008 Blog Views: 2446 Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend
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Feeling Good, Looking Good
I know the saying goes the other way, but this is much more appropriate in my case.
I have been in therapy, weekly, for over six months. There is no end in sight - literally. I remember when I first started. I would show up, my hair tied in a bun. Had I washed my face that morning? Had I showered in the last 24 hours? The answers to both could go either way, depending on the day. I had on my trademark outfit: old t-shirt, cut-off sweats, running shoes, and my brown granny sweater. I felt like crap. I looked like crap. This went on for a few months. Finally, my therapist called me on it. I was so closed off, she remarked. How could we make any progress if I wouldn't let her in? I realized my appearance was like a suit of armor. I was nondescript. It was holding me back. We had a week's break - I thought a lot about what she said. I thought a lot about myself and what I wanted for my life. I didn't want to be invisible anymore. I wanted to grow. Next session, I made sure my face was washed. I did my hair. I put on jeans and a nice shirt. Cute shoes. I even - gasp - put on lip gloss. Oh my gosh, I felt so much better. I walked in the room smiling. I made the effort to let her in. She remarked, at the end - "I have to say it, but you've really let your hair down!". We've built such a strong foundation from there. I did make that slight effort to look better, and in turn I started to feel better. But I have learned over the past months that as I feel better, I look even better. I have so much more confidence, and I want to show it. So now I do make an effort to look good when I walk out the door. I don't wear a lot of makeup, but a little mascara, blush and lipgloss can go a long way. I style my hair. I put on a pair of jeans and a nicer shirt. I slip my cute black boots on. When people tell me how pretty I am, or how good I look, I say "thank you" and smile. It feels really good. 8 comments from 6 users
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posted by
hmoeckli
on Jan 26, 2008 at 11:36 AM
posted by
blahblahblah
on Jan 17, 2008 at 10:56 AM
The red shirt? Gawd, I LOVE that shirt. I got a new one the other day - it's a white trapeze top. Too cute. Funny enough, ktja, I was looking through my closet this morning and thinking that I really needed more shirts. And a couple of pairs of slacks. Big Man is gonna love that! posted by
ktja
on Jan 15, 2008 at 10:03 PM
A compliment can go a long way. Keep it going...I think a shopping spree is in order!! posted by
creatress
on Jan 15, 2008 at 03:00 PM
Come on over doll and we'll do a photoshoot! Bring the red shirt (wink)
posted by
blahblahblah
on Jan 15, 2008 at 02:45 PM
Thanks, ToscaSac. I definitely changed inside first before outside. The inner change has been so profound (I feel), the outer change has been much more apparent. It feels so good! And it's definitely not a strike-a-pose pic, it's an I'm-pregnant-with-a-huge-child-must support-lower-back pose. :)And jnkmommy, thank you for your kind words. I definitely feel prettier now. Inside and out. You're so sweet for noticing the change. :) And you, creatress, you're an inspiration! I want to have a sexy pic like yours. Hehehehehe... posted by
creatress
on Jan 15, 2008 at 11:58 AM
Oh man can I relate!!! Therapy is so much work. Kudos to you for thinking of yourself and going even with two small children. That's really amazing. I wish I would have gone a lot sooner. And yes, you are BEAUTIFUL! Inside and out. posted by
jnkmommy
on Jan 15, 2008 at 07:30 AM
I have always thought you were beautiful, but yea lately I've noticed a little extra sparkle. You do look great. Hair up or down, makeup or no makeup, you look good. But I understand the feeling in the inside thats different when you do a little extra. Its amazing. I'm glad you are feeling good on the indide too. :)
posted by
ToscaSac
on Jan 14, 2008 at 07:21 PM
Who ever told you looking good meant feeling good? Have they not watched the news to see the miserable beautiful people? I am glad you broke through whatever was holding you back but I hope you see that you broke through on the inside so you changed on the outside. Or you decided to make a change that resonated both internally and externally. There is a boost to looking good and being noticed or told so but without that break through such positive feed back doesn't really get through. I find it interesting that people are so transparent if you really look and listen to them. You were in a place where you didn't care and it showed. When you decided to come out of that shell and your intention changed BOOM a new looking you. Rock on woman rock on. The funny thing is that pic you have always makes me think of you in a powerful strike a pose positive kind of way.
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And isn't funny how a cute top can really energize you?