HomeMom on the Run
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Welcome to Holland
(Note: creatress made reference to this essay in some posting somewhere on here... I stumbled across it today, and thought it was perfect! So, thank you creatress, and thank you Emily Perl Kingsley!)
WELCOME TO HOLLAND by Emily Perl Kingsley. (c)1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved. I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...... When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts. But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland. ________________________________ This essay beautifully puts into words what is in my heart. Going to Holland was not on my itinerary. But now that I'm here, I can't imagine being anywhere else. 1 comments from 1 users
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posted by
jnkmommy
on Nov 9, 2007 at 08:09 AM
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I don't have a special needs child but one of the things I hate most in society is telling someone about a child and saying they are special needs, and then the person saying," oh poor thing." My step mother does that. A friend of mine came over while she was here, and my friend has a daughter with downs. The first thing out of my step moms mouth was that phrase. I wanted to slap her. So many people have changed their attitudes toward special needs children in a wonderful positive way, and unfortunately some haven't. I used to feel that having a special needs child would be the worst thing, but now I am not afraid of it. I would love that child just as much as if it were not special needs. Reading your articles and others with special needs children inspire me. Thank You.