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One of Bee's deficits (sounds so harsh, I know) is his lack of conversation skills. Last summer, he didn't know how to say "yes" or "no". Getting him to answer questions required a lot of patience. Typically functioning kids just talk and talk and talk (see Lee)... with Bee, it's not that easy.

Well, it's getting easier.

Flashback: last year, when I was going through a manic "sign Bee up for any and all therapies available you must or you're a bad mom" phase, I signed him up for music therapy. "He loves to sing!", I rationalized. "He loves music!", I spouted. "He's gonna LOVE music therapy!", I said to anyone and everyone who would listen.

He hated it.

He hated his teacher. He hated the room. He hated the chair. He hated the music. He hated the instruments. But most of all, he hated "conversation time". That's when his teacher would put on this annoying CD featuring a woman first singing about how WONDERFUL it was to talk with your friends. And then she would ask questions, like "What's your favorite animal?" and then there would be a LOOOOOONG pause while she waited for Bee to answer.

Bee's response was starting at the CD player, then his teacher, and then me. No words. (We now know it's because he has/had an issue with the auditory processing area of his brain.) We'd try to prompt him; no luck. Then he'd start screaming.

Screaming spread to all parts of the therapy session. When he started screaming as soon as he realized we were driving to music therapy, I canceled the lessons altogether.

And I stopped pushing. Never stopped caring. But I stopped making it such a big deal.

In ABA, they've been working with him to answer questions. They start small. First: modeling asking a question, and then an appropriate answer. Sometimes visually. Always rewarding. And ohmygod it works.

After ABA, Bee and I got in the car to pick up Lee. It's about a 15 minute drive. Usually, we listen to music, or watch Dora (I know, I know). Bee wanted neither today. We sat, enjoying a quiet drive, and I felt compelled to ask him how his day was.

Me: Hey Bee, did you have fun at school today?

Bee: Yeah.
(Note: Not yes. He actually said yeah.)

Me: What did you do at school today?

Bee: Sang a song. Read books at circle time. And I had lunch.

Me: (thinking "What the &!@$") What book did you read at school?

Bee: Slippery fish.
(Note: Slippery fish is a song, not a book. But dammit - he answered my question!)

Me: Cool! And what did you eat for lunch?

Bee: Raisins. And grapes. Carrots... and I had a sandwich.
(Note: All of these items were in his lunch today!)

So yeah, I called Big Man, naturally, to share the good news. And then I called my mom. They both joined in my giddiness.

And I wanted to be sure to share it with all of you.    :)

So, Big Man brought home a Slip n Slide the other day... Saturday was warm enough to have some watery fun. After hooking up the hoses, and inflating all the inflatables, we were ready to go about 30 minutes later.

Well, sort of. Bee was afraid of it. The shooting water freaked him out. He wanted nothing to do with it. But i knew he would enjoy himself if he just tried, so I decided I had to show him how it was done.

Nevermind I had done my hair, in preparation for the get-togethers I was attending a bit later in the evening. See, I'm mixed (half black, half white), so my hair is always an ordeal. Don't even get me started on synchronized swimming in high school. But I digress.

I was determined to show Bee that the Slip n Slide was, indeed, fun. So I donned my swimsuit (and a shower cap) and slid. And slid and slid and slid. I realized very quickly that showing Lee was only part of the reason why I was on the lawn looking like an idiot -- I really wanted to slide! After a few demonstrations, he got the hang of it. Even Lee got in on the fun (fully dressed, natch).

As for my hair (I know you're all concerned): the shower cap did not hold. As my sister pointed out, I was wearing a hotel shower cap -- not much of a tight seal there. So I did end up doing my hair again.

It was so worth it.

I started running in January. It was very much against my will, at first. I was a sprinter when I ran in my younger days. Honestly, my longest run was the 440 relay (bah dum bum). And that seemed to last an eternity. I played soccer for years, but you're not constantly running. There are starts and stops. The idea of running a mile seemed ludicrous. So I started with walking.

Walking got old after week 2. So I moved up to the running group - same pace (15:00). After a couple of weeks, that seemed slow. So I moved to the 14:30. Then 14:00. Then 13:30. That's the pace I ran the half-marathon at (in May). It's slow, I know. But it's progress.

So this past weekend, our training group started up again. Time to set the new pace. My goal had been to move up to a gold group - they run 4/1s (4 minutes running; 1 minute walking). I had been doing my short runs at that interval for a couple of months, so it seemed doable. I hoped it was doable.

I started at the back of the pack, thinking I would be one of the slow ones. I was wrong - spent the first half-mile stuck at a very slow pace. I started to get discouraged, but quickly let it go. We moved past the bridge and I was able to get up to pace. Passing people who looked as though they were in better shape than me. I felt good.

I finished the two miles in under 24 minutes. A 12:00 pace! I was stoked. I was firmly cemented in a gold group! Mission accomplished!

So in a little under 5 months, I have shaved 20% off my pace. I'm impressed! No injuries, either. And most importantly - I'm having so much fun!

I'm going on record now, telling you all that I am running the CIM in December. The whole thing. Not the relay, not the half marathon -- one foot in front of the other for 26.2 miles. And in another year, I hope to be at a 10:00 or lower pace. A girlfriend was telling me it took her 5 years to get to an 8:00 pace, so I hope that 10:00 at this time next year is practical. If not, maybe you more seasoned runners can set me straight.

Again, if anyone wants to go running during the week, email me! It's always better to run with someone.    :)

Big Man gets tired of hearing how much I love my job, so I thought I'd share it you all instead.

I love my job.

I was super-freaked out to go back to work. I worked with Big Man when he had his own company, but it had been over 7 years since I worked in a real office. And if you recall, I blogged about going to the interview, acing it (yeah, baby), and being offered the job the same day. And starting work the following Monday. What I did not mention was how terrified I was. I had been honest with them about my lack of recent work experience, and I was confident that I would be able to figure stuff out, but there was that nagging voice in the back of my head telling me that I was in over my head.

I ignored it. I'm so glad I did.

I work with the best group of people imaginable. We truly are a team, working towards the same common goal: total domination of our field of expertise. Hahahahaha.... I'm kidding (sort of). Everyone is free to make suggestions, and encouraged to do so. There are no egos. We joke around a lot, but work really hard too.

So this past weekend was our annual retreat. I was tickled to be invited along, as I'm the only part-timer (and non-IT person). We rented a beautiful cabin in Tahoe, loaded up with food and drinks, and got ready to do a little bit of work and a lot of play. We had a 6-event Olympics, complete with medals for the winning team. I'm proud to say that my team won two events, and came in 4th place overall. It was so much fun.

I am so lucky to have a job that I love, that works around my crazy schedule (I can even work from home!), and appreciates everyone for their hard work. I'm most appreciative of my husband and my mom, who picked up the slack in order to make it possible for me to work out of the home.

The purpose of this posting is partly to boast (I really work at an awesome place; I love it!), but also to encourage any of you moms or dads out there who think you can't get a job because you've been out of the workplace for a while. You can. Really, you can. If you have a computer at home, you've likely kept up your computer skills. Accounting software is just about dummy-proof nowadays, and you can learn on the job. If you can show patience with your kids, you'd be great at customer service.

Many smart employers are starting to be more flexible with work hours. For example, I work 3 days a week (Tues-Thurs), starting at 7am. If I need to leave for an appointment, it's not a big deal. I also work a lot from home, which is a godsend when one (or both) of the kids are sick.

And having something of my own - something that's all mine - well, that's priceless.

So if you want to work outside of the home, get out there and start applying! There are jobs out there. I can't tell you how many really good part- and full- time jobs I applied for. And I got callbacks on almost all of them! Give it a try! And maybe we can go for lunch one day.     :)

I realized yesterday, when I was bragging on Lee to friends/family, that he's precocious. He's been precocious since birth, basically. When I was pregnant with him, the doctors swore up and down that he was going to be a huge baby. He was a respectable 8 lbs., but shot up to over 10 lbs. by the time he was 2 weeks old.

Everything he does seems so early. He could hold his head up at like 2 weeks old. And not just up for a second and then back down... no, he would hold it up for 30 seconds or so, looking all around. He sat up early. Crawled early. Walked early. He talks so much, it's freaky.

His favorite phrase is, "What about me?" -- when I give something to Bee first, Lee is right behind, uttering his catchphrase with this look of bewilderment that he was somehow forgotten in the process.

He's two, I'll remind you. Taller and bigger than most 3 year olds. He kicks a ball so hard and far I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. Rides a bigwheel like it's second-nature. Climbs rope ladders in bouncy castles with no assistance.

He also likes to pretend he's Swiper, and throw stuff in places where it can't be easily recovered (like between the washer and dryer, or behind the entertainment center) while saying, "You'll never find it now! Heh heh heh heh heh..."

He can count to twelve, knows the alphabet, and most shapes and colors.

But most importantly, he gives the best hugs and kisses, tells me he loves me, and greets me at the door as if he's missed me for an eternity, and not a few short hours.

(For the record: he wears his hat like that ALL THE TIME. And no, that is not prompted by us. We don't know where he got it from.)

This past Thursday, Bee graduated from his Preschool Communication class. He has made so much progress over the past 18 months - from using one-word sentences ("book") to full-sentences ("I want to read Clifford"). His academics are on-pace/advanced for his age, which is nice. But the most important thing (in our opinion) is that he has started socializing with his peers. He has friends at school that he sits by and plays with (sometimes, not all the time). There's even a red-headed girl he's captivated by.

Big Man and I were nervous to attend Bee's graduation. Bee tends to get very overwhelmed when there are changes: having all of those friends and family attending would be hard for him, we thought. In fact, last year Bee didn't attend the graduation (as an observer) because he could not handle it. So we thought it would be best to get his ABA supervisor to support Bee during his big day. David was such a great help. Bee ADORES him, and was very happy to have him there.

So the moment arrived. All the graduates were sitting in their chairs, and Bee's teacher got the program started. Bee was up first. "Bee - remember what we practiced", she said. Bee stood up and walked over to the little bridge. Up the steps to the top. She presented him his diploma. He took it and kinda looked at the camera. Applause rang out. I fought back tears, of course. He walked down the bridge and returned to his seat. Then the other graduates followed. It was so cute. After the ceremony, they all sat down for cake. Bee's best friend brought his chair over to sit by him. Bee started to get a bit overwhelmed - lots of talking and laughing, etc. - so we thought it was time to say our goodbyes and head home.

When I think back to the child I first dropped off at preschool - the child who cried for the first 2+ weeks, who only wanted to lay down on the floor with a blanket and pillow - and the child who walked across that bridge, I am so, so grateful to Bee's teachers and aides. They were all so patient and caring - working hard to get him additional services, helping him through the bad days, encouraging him to continue having good days. Bee's teacher got him additional OT, adapted PE, and into a really great kindergarten class. She also fought to keep Bee in the current class, when the district wanted to move him to a lower-functioning one. I will always, always be indebted to her. She says it's just what she does - I say that what she does is heroic. She and the aides work so hard with all of the kids - and with smiles on their faces and so much love in their hearts. I adore all of them.

I would also like to add that my little sister graduated from the Wright Institute in Berkeley with her Psy.D. degree. She also was awarded the Richard Alan Smith Scholar's Award for her dissertation. To say I am proud of her is the understatement of the millennium. She now has a BA, two MAs and a Psy.D.! And she's only 30!!! She will do her post-doc internship at Kaiser Oakland, continuing her work with people struggling with various addictions. She works with clients who are truly suffering, and I am in awe of her every day. She is amazing.

And yes, I cried like a baby when she was presented with her award and as she walked across the stage to be given her diploma. The smile that was on her face will be burned in my memory. What an incredible achievement!

So, two of my favorite people, both graduates this week. And what graduates they are!

We had Bee's birthday party this past Sunday. It was kind of a last-minute thing: we had planned on having it the weekend before, then postponed it to mid-June, then decided to have it on Sunday. Long story; not worth repeating.

Anyway, we sent out the evite, ordered the party accoutrement (cake, balloons, pinata, goodie bags) -- all Dora-themed. We ordered the biggest bounce castle we could find. Planned the food and drinks. And then we waited for the big day.

We invited quite a few people, but I didn't expect them all to show up, as it was so short-notice. But everyone showed up, except one family who was out of town. I was so touched that all these people were so willing to come share in Bee's celebration.

Bee had a great day. He was surrounded by people who care so much about him. The smile on his face was contagious. He truly enjoyed his birthday.

This was the first year that Bee really cared about his birthday. I am so grateful to all who were there for making it so special.

It should be noted that Lee had the best day evah as well... he spent most of the day in the bounce castle; forgoing his nap, in fact. The craziest part was when he figured out how to climb the rope ladder on his own. He's only two!!!

Both boys were very sad to see the bounce house go; we will probably have a half-birthday party for Lee in August, just so we can rent another one!     :)

I can still vividly recall coming home from the hospital, not even 8 hours after you were born. Your dad was so excited to finally be a father -- as we got out of the car, he yelled to the neighborhood: "Who wants to see a beautiful baby boy?"

I remember holding you in my arms for hours... wanting time to stop. Or at least, to slow down.

I remember your first bath. Your first smile. Your first burp (though I could never burp you).

I remember the crying - oh, there was lots of crying. But I also remember that Big Man and I were the only ones who could console you. At the time, it seemed like a bit of a burden. I know now it was a blessing.

There have been lots of starts and stops along the way. But Bee - you are so amazing! I am so proud of you, and I am so proud to be your Mom.

I can't believe you're 5 years old. I can't believe 5 years have passed just like that.

I love you, Bee. I love you, I love you, I love you. We all love you so.

Happy Birthday from your family,
 Mom, Dad & Lee

Bee has gotten really into games lately. He plays them at a lot of his therapies, and has finally mastered the art of turn-taking, so he's now eager to play them at home.

His favorite game is Memory. Now, this takes me back and makes me feel all warm & fuzzy inside, because my sis and I used to play this game religiously. I mean, we played this well past the recommended age, well into our teens and early 20s. So when Bee asked me to play Memory with him, I happy as a clam.

I'd heard rumblings from his tutors that he was really good at it. I thought they meant the turn-taking.

So we picked out 12 pairs. Turned them face-down. Mixed 'em up. Arranged them in rows of four. "Who's first?" I asked. "Bee goes first", he replied. Okay, then.

He turned to over. "No match", he said.

My turn. No match.

This went on for 2 more turns. Then he got a match.

Then another. And another.

I had no idea what card was where.

Then he got another. I was starting to sweat.

I hesitated on my second pick - he found it for me. "Good job, Mommy!" he said.

Can you be condescending at almost 5 years old?

I did manage to find 3 matches of my own. He doubled my score.

"Play again?" he asked.

"Sure thing, kiddo".

Same score. The kid is good.

Even Lee got into it - saying "No match"! Only to me though. He knew who the pro was.

After the game, Bee put all the cards back in the box and put it away. He then asked me to read him a book.

Lee sat in my lap; Bee sat across from us. Bee read along with the book; of course, he has it memorized too.

Most parents probably take this stuff for granted. For me, playing a game with my son - start to finish - is definitely blog-worthy.

Now, I gotta get back to practicing...

:)

Last year, we decided Bee needed to learn how to swim. So I found one of those in-home swimming instructors and signed him up for lessons. It was okay - Bee usually loves water, but was very hesitant to get in with the instructor. He sometimes has trouble with new people, though. We were diligent about practicing in between appointments - blowing bubbles in the bathtub, dunking him under water in the pool, etc. He enjoyed himself, but really made no progress all summer. I was kind of disappointed - I really wanted him to have something that he liked doing, because his days were already filled with things he had to do. The summer ended; the weather got colder; we figured we'd try it again next year.

Fast forward: next year becomes this year. My parents had sold their house (sob), so we needed to find a place that offered swim lessons. I kept hearing how good Debbie Meyer's program was, so we called for some info and went down to sign up. You prepay for 12 15-minute sessions. 15 minutes? That's it? Seems short to me. I was assured that he would learn a lot and so we went ahead. We chose Isaac as our instructor - apparently, he's great with kids with special needs. Then we waited two weeks for the lessons to start.

Big Man decided this was going to be his thing with Bee. We started prepping Bee for the lessons about a week before, but really - he needed no prepping. Once he heard the word "swimming", he was all over it. He practically flew out the door to go to his lesson. I was filled with typical mom-dread: would he enjoy it, would he throw a tantrum at the pool, how many times would he want to flush the toilets. Okay - maybe those aren't all typical, but they're typical for me.    :)

They were back less than an hour later. Bee was beaming, so was Big Man. "He did great", Big Man said. Bee went on and on about swimming with Isaac. It's still a popular refrain in our household. I was thrilled.

So on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Bee and his dad load up in the car and head out for lessons. I get reports on how he's doing: Bee's huge smile going and coming back speaks for itself; Big Man fills in the details. Isaac is apparently thrilled with Bee's progress. He asked Big Man if we had been swimming with Bee in between lessons (we haven't). He said Bee is doing great.

I needed to see for myself.

Lee, Bee and I loaded up in the car and met Big Man at the swim school. Then I realized I forgot the swim bag at home. Luckily, Bee already had his trunks on, but I had to high-tail it back home to get his towel. So I did, and made it just in time to see the last 5 minutes.

I cannot accurately describe to you what I saw, because my eyes filled with tears the minute I saw this beautiful child swimming half the length of the pool by himself, then looking up and giving me the biggest smile I have ever seen. He holds his breath under water. He swims under water! He dives for toys - you guessed it - under water! Folks, this was his 10th lesson. Two hours of swimming under his belt this year.

When we signed him up for swimming last year, this is what I hoped for at some point. I don't know that I actually expected it. I just wanted something for Bee to truly look forward to; something that was his and his alone. I'm glad I got what I wanted; I'm ecstatic for Bee.

I'm still tearing up. I know I'm a sap, but oh - if you could have seen him.

So now I know two things:

1. I can't wait to sign Lee up for lessons.
2. We are soooo getting a pool.

:)