Prana-Mama

Prana-Mama
How spirituality wiggles its way into the moments of motherhood.
About Pranamama


Real Name:
Katie Mitchell-Askar
Member Since:
December 19, 2007
Last Signed In:
December 21, 2008
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Pranamama - > Prana-Mama -> The Un-Consumer
The Un-Consumer

One of my best friends, who I originally met in a yoga class, has recently committed to an experiment in non-consumerism. For an unspecified amount of time, she has vowed not to buy anything but the essentials (food for her kitchen, underwear, toilet paper, etc.). Considering we used to sip lattes at Starbucks after yoga, shop together for yoga DVDs and CDs, her new dedication has significantly changed the logistics of our friendship and that of her family’s.

 

“What are your plans for Christmas?” I asked her.

 

“I can tell you there won’t be presents involved,” she said.

 

I admire my friend’s commitment, and I wonder if I could do it myself. My life as a mother revolves around consumption: diapers, clothes, crayons, bicycles. Even my friendships with other moms involve buying stuff. Take this past weekend: a friend and I met at Koukla Kids on J St. for a free puppet show (good start) and went to Starbucks afterwards to have coffee while our kids played with toys (yes, the Starbucks on J has toys for all to share). We drank overpriced coffee, and then we trashed our disposable cups. Other times friends and I will shop for clothes or toys or meet for lunch out. I often feel like I have to get out of the house and do something with my daughter, and handing over my debit card in exchange for things (often a caffeine buzz) we don’t really need often sounds like an agreeable distraction. But I wonder what I’m distracting myself from.

 

Motherhood should be about enjoying each moment with my daughter. It should be about building friendships with other moms and forming a warm, safe community for our children. Everything I want my daughter to learn, the deep layered values I want to clothe her with as she goes into the world, have nothing to do with spending money, and yet that’s what we do a lot of.

 

My friend chose a difficult time to disengage from consumerism, but maybe the Christmas season is perfectly apt. I’m no minister or devout church-goer, but Jesus’ birth was supposed to be a sign of hope for the lost, of light in darkness. The wise men brought gifts, but it was the drummer boy’s song that made the baby smile. Maybe we don’t need presents or things. Maybe what we have, the song in our hearts, is all we need.

 

I’ve decided I won’t overdo the gift-giving this Christmas season. I’ve bought small, useful gifts for family and close friends, just because I love them. I’ve made donations to charity. I’ve bought paper, pens, and finger puppets for my daughter, so we can enjoy creative time together. I don’t know if I’m ready to give up spending money completely, but it might be just the thing I need. I certainly won’t find hope or light in a Starbucks paper cup.

Topics: christmas, consumer, hope
posted by Pranamama on Wednesday, December 19, 2007 at 04:52 PM
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2 comments from 2 users

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posted by creatress on Dec 19, 2007 at 07:35 PM

I read about a small group of friends recently who took a vow that for one year they wouldn't buy anything new (other than what you mentioned). If they needed clothes, they'd go to the thrift store. If they needed things for their home, garage sale. It went well and one couple vowed to keep it up as long as they could.

For me, all things in moderation is the key. I'm personally trying to remember my own cloth shopping bags everywhere I go rather than paper or plastic. We also use re-usable plastic sports bottles filled from big jugs of water rather than little plastic ones (you can't drink filtered or tap water in Davis!)

Personally I can't picture Christmas for children without gifts. For the adults in our family however we're going hand-made. It's been a lot of fun and I'm enjoying it a lot. There were things I did have to buy however. Containers (though some are recycled), box's for shipping, labels, ingredients, etc...

I tend to think that children raised in such an extreme environment will either grow up and love it and do the same thing. Or be in some serious credit card debt and buy everything they ever wanted but never got. Again, in my book - moderation is the key!

posted by girl4agreenerworld on Dec 21, 2007 at 09:37 AM
I agree with Creatress about the fact that moderation is the key.  The term "everything in moderation" was my father's favorite saying and it is one I will never forget.  My father worked hard, but he played hard as well.  He spent money on things he thought were important, especially when it came to family.  He and my mother were good about saving and investing, yet gave 10% to our church and always gave to those less fortunate.  I feel blessed to have been taught a lot of good lessons and try to instill that in my children.  As a matter of fact this year my son gave to an environmental cause in my honor for my Christmas present.  It's exactly what I wanted!

I think your friend is going to an extreme, especially when it comes to Christmas and children.    I consider myself to be a moderate environmentalist and I like the bumper sticker that I have seen "Question Consumerism."  With that being said, we must not forget about our economy and makes it tick.  There are people out there who depend on our shopping, but I think it should be smart shopping.  I like your purchase of items for your daughter that promote doing things together and the fact that you have donated to charities and are finding gifts that are useful.  (Let's not forget items that can help with the state of our environment!)   Finding time to get together with family and friends is what it is all about...and I think sipping lattes with friends is a great way to spend time together.  I hope your friend will decide that extremism is just that...extreme!  I hope she will once again join you for a coffee break here and there and bring a reusable cup! 
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