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During my custody settlement, I was ordered to bring the children out to California along with the step mom. I was to pay for all expenses. At first you might think WHAT? Are you kidding? Pay for flight for three people, car rental for her out here, and hotel. yea it took me a few years before I could afford to do that.

But the financial was not nearly as hard as the emotional. I did not like this woman. She was my ex husbands new wife, my children called her mom, we had a past of a joint relationship with my ex for well over a year. Arghhh. How could I face her? How could I share her with my children for the two weeks I barely got with them a year? 

Now looking back on it I can not tell you what gave me the strength and the foresight to smile, but I did. For two weeks, no matter what was said, what we did, how much displeasure I felt inside, I smiled.  

That smile helped me win custody of my children. See what was happening was that my idea of the perfect marriage that I thought they had was not really there. At the same time my ex had said some nasty, terrible things about me to the new wife, I was evil, mean, a cheater, a bad mom. So when the new wife came out here to visit and I just smiled and was my normal self she saw a different side of the evil mother.

And so the dam was beginning to crack under the pressure. She was so impressed that I treated her with kindness and respect, that I shared my life, my home and my children that when she returned home she started to question his accusations.

Now years later, we speak once a week at least, we share stories and have inspired each other in ways that I would have never believed. We have been the best therapy to each other, openly speaking of the past and rehashing it.

My ex is in jail currently and I will speak of this in other blogs. I have moved on and am currently remarried, children are with me and the ex is cleaning out the cob webs after a divorce so she can move on. Oh yea... did I mention she is coming out this summer to hang with us?

Smile! you never know what it can bring you!.

hugs to all

Patricia